Categories
Glot

Games Fun, Fun Good

I like mind games. I bet you didn’t know that mind games are good for you. Don’t believe me? Allow me to explain.

Many are the reasons that these things, these things of which I speak, make our lives better. Have you been bored lately? I haven’t… I can’t. I just will not allow myself. I must play. I play with those around me — confusing them, prodding them, keeping ’em guessing. I play with stuff I find. I play with myself. That’s right, I said it. How can one resist a flavored toothpick, a sublimely obscure joke, a button that goes ‘click’, or — dare I say — one’s own elbow skin? How?! This (as many of you will know) is called “fun”. Not only are they entertaining, but these little games keep me occupied when the otherwise tedious stimulus-response cycle threatens to de-vamp my vim. I gots to have me my vim, you know. Gotsta.

It’s from this perspective I volunteer a seemingly obvious adage: fun is good for you. Not taking things too seriously keeps you stable, it gives you a release when you need it and makes life interesting when you don’t. Drink up, ye seekers of sanity, the cup of vim.

Unfortunately it seems not too many people realize this. Or, worse yet are those who have no energy… at all. “Ebullient vitality and energy” can be difficult without that. I’ll be the first to confess I’m a) young b) healthy c) naturally, let’s say, a “curious” individual. So I’ve got an advantage. What’s to stop you, though, from pretending that instead of “working” at your “job” you’re just maintaining deep cover? And the twist is — you must discover who it is you’re supposed to spy on (!!!). Keep tabs on people’s calls. Make up secret codes between your co-workers. Nothing, nothing, could possibly make refilling the water cooler any more intense.

I know some of you will find this outlook childish, immature, perhaps even regressive. To them I say: uhhhh huuuuh… Do you even remember how awesome it was playing games in grade school? No. Of course not. Because you are an old fart that has grown stale instead of savory with age. Come on — grade school is the only time when Marbles vs. Dinosaurs is a perfectly sensible bout. Maybe I’m like this because back in the day I didn’t get enough quality playtime. I was that kid that was with a different group each day on the playground. Nobody could stand me for too long. I remember once, for about a week in fourth grade, I incessently chanted “craaack, CRACK, crack … crack-crack … creeeaaaaaak (et cetera)” just for the hell of it. Plea for attention? Nascent ennui? Yeah, I’m gonna go with nascent ennui just cause most people won’t understand that.

What was my point? Oh yes. There is only one thing in the entire world that we can have complete control of: our own minds. You’re assignment, if you choose to accept it, is to make your own life interesting. While you’re at it try making it livable too. Then call me. We need to work out the details and write a frickin’ book.

Categories
Glot

Robot Monkey Ninja Pirate

There are worse things to be addicted to than the internet. But then again, maybe nitrous isn’t so bad.

You ever think about who you are on the internet? I do. I basically paid about $100 out of pocket for… this. All of this. This webspace, this domain. And more than that, I’ve spent hours which are — in a word, uncountable — actually putting the damned thing together. All so that you can read this and enjoy the little colored squares change. Yes I’ve spent a lot of time on the internet. I’m nice to the internet; it’s nice to me.

I’ve been thinkin’ lately, in my very American way, about all the stuff I’ve got. Specifically, the stuff I’ve got online. Stuff like:

Flickr
Consumating
Del.icio.us
Last.fm
MySpace
WordPress

And beleive it or not, now people have coined a new highfalutin term for all this: digital identity. To be distinguished, mind you, from one’s real identity. That is to say exactly what should be obvious: the virtual world still isn’t real.

Think about that for a moment. Many of us spend a lot of our lives—let’s say in my case roughly half—in front of a computer. And how many dreams have you had where you were on the internet? Or even at a computer? Not any at all, for 99.998% of you (one can never be absolutely sure…). So why bother if it can’t be integrated into a wholistic, experience-seeking, fully-lived life? Look at that list up there. Now go make your own. Shouldn’t our time on this earth be spent improving our lives, instead of (very arguably) improving the internet?

Hm.

Well, think I’ll read a book now. Like that’s any better.

Categories
Glot

Down Under Wonder

Due to the overwhelming number of inquiries as to why I’m making my way to Australia early next year, I feel I have to address the imminent influx of letters, email, and phone calls from concerned fans. Also I have nothing better to write about. And I have no fans.

Here’s why: Australia is frickin’ cool. Exhibit A: platypuses (not platypi, it’s a greek derivative… dumbass). The name translates as “flat foot” which is without a doubt fershure their least remarkable quality. I like to call them duckmoles. Not only are they venomous, egg-laying, and billed, they also get a whole ‘nother sixth sense: electrolocation. A platypus can perceive differences in electrical current between the two sides of its bill. Combined with its wickedly edematous spur, this makes the platypus the perfect go-to animal for scheming mad scientists everywhere.

I registered today for the Thorn Tree, a simple forum run by Lonely Planet for travellers like myself. Spice is nice but moreso good advice. And this, this was my first contribution:

Greetings all,

This 21 y.o. male willl be arriving in Sydney on Jan. 25th (yes that’s intentional) but will be taking the workaday route: job, apartment, the whole deal. Accomodations might be in order for the right kind of oz-farer.

That’s right. I just invited a bunch of strangers to sleep over at my place—in a foreign country I’ve never been to and don’t know that much about. Unless you count Platypi. I mean -puses.

Oh, and I should mention since I didn’t really talk about it at all—if you really want to find out why I’m going to Australia, you should try reading the other glot.

Categories
Glot

Higher Knowledge

Am I the only one who, if somebody sits in your chair when you’re gone then leaves it all warm and almost… moist… that you feel violated? Even a teensy bit?

You have no idea how cathartic it feels to finally write that sentence. You know why? Cause I can write anything at all. I’ve been so damn busy working, dispatching requests, complaints, and repair orders, not to mention keeping a log of every damn key in this hotel, that I haven’t had a half a chance to say “here is this random bit of non-information flitting through my idle mind.” There is no idle mind.

Many yogis have said that the highest knowledge is arrived at by meditating on the meaning of nothingness. To them I say: also, my hair seems very flat today.

Categories
Guess-It

Protected: No. 1, Light of Humanity

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Categories
Glot

We’re coming to Aus-tral-ee-uh

BUNAC work visa, 2-night accomodations, orientation in Sydney, and Lonely Planet guidebook: $595

Inclusive 7-month traveler’s insurance: $379

Round trip airfare (including tax) to Australia: $1414.29

International Youth Travel Card to get huge airfare discount: $17.50

Total cost of getting there: $2405.79
Total money in the bank: $2396.46


Dammit. Can someone loan me nine dollars and thirty-three cents?

Categories
Glot-glot

Theme-to-trot

As of 7:38 am Pacific Daylight Savings time, WordGlot theme 0.9 has gone live. Whoo! One chromo-glot-gasm to rule them all.

Take a look around… doesn’t look like an 8th grader did it anymore, does it? Well, there’s still a few wrinkles. For instance the entire sidebar. But dammit, I wasted half a day just retrofitting the stupid thing and countless hours refining the design itself — now I’m gonna reap the reward of all this.

Reward… reward… hm.
I’m not sure what that is now. I seem to have forgotten the point. The point in doing all this. Of fixing up a blog that’s hardly read, that’s irregularly written. And while we’re on the subject, hey YOU: who are you thinking that this is good reading material? You have better things to do and you know it. I want you to stop reading this. Now.

  • Counter-intuitive Rule #422 — If you want someone to do something, discourage them from doing it. Their essential contrarianism will cause them to do it more.
  • Counter-intuitive Rule #422a — Unless, however, you point out their essential contrarianism, in which case they will not do it just to prove they aren’t contrarian (corollary).
  • Counter-intuitive Rule #422b — If you point out that, they will most likely just get confused (counter-corollary).
Categories
Glot

Last Night I Dreamt

I fell off a cliff. On my bicycle. It was dark out and I was following a path. I’d been riding with a childhood friend of mine and he’d gone away, though I hadn’t noticed. But I did notice the cliff — as soon as I rode off it. It took a second to calculate how high I was, calculate my chance of survival. Zero. My heart raced and I lamented the years I’d never have. Then, instead of sheer granite and the vast unforgiving sky, I was plummeting within something soft and looking at slatted wood.

And I found myself on my bedroom floor.

my room, in sunlight

Categories
Au-dee-o

Yvan Merineau say what?

I present, for the first time ever, something of perhaps moderate interest to someone else: a vintage audio recording.

I got this record at a thrift store called City of Hope. It drew my attention for a few reasons… Firstly, t’was fershure self-released: heavy non-vinyl, one-sided, lacking cover art, copyright, and most exterior features (which you can see below). Secondly, the name itself is somewhat intriguing — “Yvan Merineau – Fan Dance”. And, this was key, it smelled old. Most people would neglect this. But as I’m sitting here now I can still smell old people’s garage, the back of a wooden cabinet, wilted paper and cardboard crumble(s), maybe even factory-sealed plastic. I bought it, for $1.50.

I have to thank Show and Tell Music and their remarkable and entertaining collection of discount-bin record covers, for first making me aware of these self-produced albums. No-frills cover art is below:

Yvan Merineau record covercover detail

included record information: Allen Zentz Recording, 1020 No. Sycamore Ave. Hollywood CA 90038 — dated 6-27-82 — track time 8:19

All told there is only one track. It’s a layered synthesizer arrangement that seems intentionally off-rhythm at times, and other times just recorded badly (side note: 1020 N. Sycamore is still there, and is still a studio). But I didn’t buy the music for it’s sound quality; I bought it for it’s novel quality. Not to say I didn’t clean it up, though. I’m not a barbarian.

I’ve taken my share of music from the internet; it’s time to give back. And so I give to you, the people:

direct link: Yvan Merineau – Fan Dance.mp3

Categories
Optiglot

Tags Gone Bad

Technorati's Tag page for "masculine"

Does it bother you? Then start writing something about masculinity that’s actually positive. Now.