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Dream Journal

Symbol and Secret Sound

Chasing a symbol that looks like a lopsided Y, perhaps like a tree branch with one side blunted, or an antler with one of the points snipped off. The branching lines indicate a metaphor of some kind, and I spend a while investigating what the symbol is supposed mean for the Damanhur setting where I am. I determine, looking at eggs that bounce onto a platform I can see, that it has a specific connection to the word “l’uovi”, eggs.

I’m engaged in an important protection task. I’m searching for a sound that compulsively controls minds. I realize, eventually, that I already have it contained in my backpack — my own protective insulation keeps me from noticing it also prevented me from remembering or noticing. The closest word is zucchero, “sugar” in Italian. It’s problematic to try to tell people about (and get help securing it) because the more it’s mentioned the louder the sound gets. I see in people’s eyes when the sound starts getting to them, which is frightfully fast.

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Dream Journal

Dream of the Future while staying in Verona

Remembering a time I won a race, either in another time or dream. It was a surprisingly good feeling to win, and be congratulated. I did it following my own plan and using my own skill, being a bit carefree. It\’s unusual for me to be in the spotlight like this, or to even want to be.

A sci-fi film of planet Earth in the future, like a James Cameron epic, so many forms of transit that listing them all is a gag. There\’s one in particular, from just before the great leap to hyper-advanced technology, that involves running on a pair of wheels. The landscape is crisscrossed and buttressed with long swooping arcs of white pathways. The viewpoint flies through the colorful dynamic throngs moving in every direction. Most of the mega-diverse populace seems occupied getting from place to place, though of course they are also able to occupy their minds doing whatever they wish with complete connection to anyone anywhere in the entire innervated global society.

Well almost, I suppose. It\’s revealed that Britain has it\’s own hyper-sophisticated blocking system which isolates it at an earlier stage of development. It\’s the butt of many jokes, but it\’s also implied they have good reasons and the true status of the futuristic society has a hidden, perhaps horrifying tradeoff that isn\’t shown. I don\’t finish the film.

Working at a long bench of large TV-sized computer monitors that have become slightly less useful over time by lowering the desk and raising the chairs. I\’m one of the oldest pupils in this class and I\’ve seen the changes over time, but it\’s been long enough that I\’ve stopped complaining and simply keep working, without bothering the younger folk. Our work is interrupted with a request that we hide our neck chains as there is a photographer who specializes in 80s nostalgia style photos who wants to use the class. I\’m singled out for my chunky flats (or perhaps my genuine 80s style) and asked to pose for her, which I do for long enough that I have to readjust from leg cramps. When I get back to my desk, my neighbors have their feet on my chair and the monitor has fallen forward. There\’s a coat of condensation on them too — I seem to remember earlier being in the shower of an RV while it was in motion, but the monitor condensation is probably related to the desk itself.

These dreams feel connected in a way I can\’t all put together, despite the fact I woke up for a while in the middle of the night as I didn\’t take melatonin. There was supposed to be a thunderstorm around the same time, but it was just a dark unfamiliar room in a high-rise.

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Dream Journal

Retirement of a Kaiser

Negotiate with a tyrant to turn himself in rather than be hunted by successful rebels. He spends his days finishing the design of his family’s island estate, connecting bristly toy blocks with precise movements of a claw crane. The design is dense, and I certainly wonder whether his previous difficulty focusing and completing it was a significant contributor to his social terror – firing on protestors because he didn’t want to be distracted from it, but unable to concentrate on it in the meantime. One day, the model is finished, and the old Kaiser-looking tyrant promptly dies.

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Dream Journal

A Dream on Bicycle Day, 2026

Just kidding. I don’t always dream, you know. And often, when I do, I don’t write it down — for all sorts of reasons. Last night, I didn’t dream. I did something else. Something close to it maybe.

And what was that exactly? Just ask. I’ll tell you.

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Dream Journal

Big Cult Weekend

Attending a cult weekend in a big, barracks-like compound that still has charming old-world angled streets. After you arrive you’re given an assigned room to stay in the whole time. Your room is your affiliation, like belonging to a noble house.

I drive an old white Buick to and from the location — it’s one of the most faithful cars I have ever driven in dreams (though never real life). I don’t usually drive “vintage” cars, but I get the comforting sense that I happen to have the perfect temperament to take care of a car like this.

I find parking somewhat close to a workshop where Chicken John is working on a big project repairing an old steam train. From an aerial view, I see that only it’s front fits under the roof. The train, as beautiful as it is, might still be rusting.

On the last day of the event I’m wandering the cobblestone streets of the guest houses. From one of the wide and scenic street corners, I peek into Ani and Sarah’s dorm room, everything laid out like a painting. It feels like everything that’s happened has been longer than it actually was; it’s really just been a few days.

Reveal of the great hall with portraits of old leaders papered over, symbolizing their end of power, missing since their time — that’s how leaders end here. Brad Bramishe type (from the movie Brick) as a “Mitred God” getting covered in gold necklaces and jacket, gradually cast as more corrupted, sacrificed when the group wants a new start. Supposed to be a microcosm of society.

I watch from my bed and catch the neck of a stuffed brontosaurus moving as I wake up and conclude it’s sunlight-based. I have a doll of my college girlfriend Jenna M. and realize I could have sex with it, moving her body around — she’s still in there somehow (like a poppet maybe) and I wouldn’t be doing this if anyone were around and I weren’t already feeling uncaring/nihilistic. It’s useful but not something I’m proud about.

Traveling in group of three to find an ascension exit, like a stairway to the next level. A ruined street running parallel on a slope, maybe like Brooklyn. We reach a potential stairway hidden in a graffitied outbuilding and that’s when my companion chooses to accuse my other companion, the cook, of theft during their cooking. It’s a false accusation but she is expelled and in the next area we can fly.

Riding on a bus, perceiving myself as one of the older ones, observing eternal travails and dramas of the new twenty-somethings. I envy them, despite how obvious and stupid their mistakes. Running into two friends as I move toward the front of the bus.

Overhead tram passing through an indoor art installation. The youth are still going. I am sitting down at yellow paper cafe, at a table with a single foreigner, with menus folded like bread paper bags around vinyl records.

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Dream Journal

Missing Jawbone (Aging is Annoying)

In a movie theater for my 43rd birthday. It’s a large, well-regarded old theater loved by the community — a massive room I feel I’ve been to in other dreams. After a show, I return to look for the missing bottom half of my collectible Lego pachycephalosaurus skull (it was only produced once for a natural History museum diorama set). It’s troublingly small to have to search for, and having just the one half would be quite a sad reminder. I manage to find the missing jawbone though, and try to arrange it on the surface of my record player for a delightful aesthetic to share. But the movie starts up just as I’m about to get the shot, and it’s too dark; I miss the picture.

I’m woken up, rudely, by my rat Carl scrabbling at the door to be let out. He found some wrinkly paper, to boot. Ugh. But while I’m awake, I have the annoying realization that I don’t really want to turn 43. Being 42 sounds cool, feels cool. Ugh. I try and succeed at putting the thought out of my head.

Hiking in Russia includes carrying a large machine on one’s back, which reminds me of one of those giant overhead projectors from school. I notice eventually that it’s easy to heft it over ledges and such in the beginning of the day, but I’m surprised to discover how much older I feel by the end of the day.

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Dream Journal

Revisit to Australia

Visiting Australia, I never thought I’d see it again. I’m traveling deep inland and the green hills and my feelings for the land are very specific, nostalgic, touching. There’s been a series of contaminations lately, and quantities of high-quality cow fat has to be dumped. I dig a shallow hole to pour out what someone calls “beautiful 90s fat” into the dirt while the wizard Gandalf comforts me.

Renting a place in Mexico. We’ve still not acclimated and made friends, partly because it would mostly be expats, so we mostly stay in our room. This isn’t so much an issue since there’s sometimes a beautiful golden light in the evenings in the corners of our room (which is like my childhood bedroom in Kemper court). The house where the room is has a private road veering off to one side, though I don’t realize that’s what it is at first. I see a Mexican man sleeping on the road surface in the shade near the first curve. He would be hard to see in the shadow there, which seems intentionally dangerous, even suicidal. I take stock and realize I’m being imperceptive of the cultural environs, after all how many cars are really going to pass this bumpy road passing by the front of this dinky house.

In what must be a different dream, we discover the room our landlord has rented to us is still being used as a commercial kitchen. It was reasonable enough when we assumed it had been converted for residential use, but we don’t even have any private area… it’s literally a working kitchen using rolling industrial fridges.

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Dream Journal

Dreams from The Long List

It seems in the dream I have a list of hundreds of short dreams. I’ve been saving them up, many on the bottom are from nights past. These are ones that happened last night, the ones that I remember at least, and I think they could probably be boiled down to bullet points.


Munich, I’m told by my wife, has the interesting quality of having no tennis courts, because none of the ground is level enough. It started out as a mining town in the Middle Ages. I retrace old trade routes through long and narrow mountain valleys. I go in and out of modernist buildings and long canals or ruts in the ground. I’m there for what feels like an entire night’s dreams, but I think I just fell back asleep after waking.

In another one, I’m entering Sarah G’s house, leaving four pennies outside the gate. Coming to apologize and make up. She had me try on a fancy blue tuxedo coat, which didn’t quite fit. But I did arrive in my nice, fancy blue velvet jacket. Charlie mentioned they didn’t know about a big TV. There’s actually two big TVs inside their house, but the one I came to see is an ancient, fuzzy CRT from the ’40s or ’50s in the garage.

Hanging out in what might be a big hotel with Angelica’s girls loafing around. One is idling, reading a magazine, looking at a plaque on the wall. Have a brief chat with her, saying how I had great times reading magazines as a kid, playfully asking if she’s come up with anything vulgar to scratch into the plaque, which endears her to me. I realize I’m playing the role of the playful adult, scoring points, even though that’s not the greatest idea to give them these ideas. The reaction is fun though. It’s my role here.

Watching two surfer/stoner dudes on LSD get on a Ferris wheel, attacked by turn-of-the-century style old Chinese men, one of them unexpectedly rises to the occasion and bites deep into his nose, possibly biting it off. I remember from some other factoid the surprising thing about the blood tasting salty, that’s why the Chinese man falls off, he spits it at his face.

Oops. Forgot to do the bullet points.

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Dream Journal

Port-a-Potty Stabbing Samurai

Entering an abandoned hospital in the future where there are much fewer people. We’re here to scavenge parts, including an alarm clock block of wood. In the bathroom, I have a strange feeling of understanding: I’ll be one of the last people to know what a place like this was before the fall. In the bathroom, I imagine finding a hidden wall panel to go through a secret corridor, a way to escape the ward — the kind of fantasy someone I would have been trapped here would have, the kind that one day won’t be understood anymore.

A samurai race: one samurai leaves the starting line early, chasing the quarry into a port-a-potty. He stabs his samurai sword strongly right through the middle at first, then seems to have a moment of reflection and genre-savviness, realizing his victim would probably kneel to avoid the strike. So he then thrusts the blade diagonally down into the porta potty, likely killing the victim (who was seen to enter). It is never confirmed, though. The race was scheduled to start at dawn, but the other samurai remains asleep at the starting line. The winner hopes his opponent will not notice his cheating.

A magazine from January 2005 features a light green background. It’s eye-catching, seemingly an intentional misuse of chroma key. More to do with it that is now forgotten (I used to be better at leaving myself hints… hmm).

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Dream Journal

Three Fragments

In the classroom of an enthusiastic teacher before school ends, then I leave right after.

The crew of the Serenity from Firefly are meeting to sign their original flight agreement using melted wax.

Rebooting a computer system on loop. The command “egg” does a job I haven’t heard before, and is essential for use on Discord (with which I’m not super-familiar).


I’m trying to be better with actually publishing these even when I’ve largely forgotten the details. That’s what practice is about I suppose.