O r i•n z

If you’re seeing this, something’s gone a bit wonky. This is the old method to view a random dream (and apparently doesn’t work anymore. Maybe you’d like to try again?

I’m a reporter with Vice, and I’m a bit under-prepared for an assignment interviewing a precocious kid at his school. I only learn the kid is deaf because he has sign language translator. He’s introverted, wears glasses, Asian, intense focus, the unmistakable attention-center of the classroom. He’s a cartomancer.

The classroom map seems normal, and it is normal. It depicts just any ol’ day in the world, and the filigreed design at the bottom is labelled “Uncool”. Attached in a small plastic pocket to the map is a spare nitrous oxide charger, empty.

Trying to wrap up my interview, I start writing on the classroom tables to ask the kid, who seems insightful and gifted although inaccessible, “any ideas what I should do next?” This proves very difficult (admittedly I think I was using a brownie. Eventually I gave up and unpacked my laptop again, though typing was much easier. He gave me an answer, I woke up and it seemed a different dream than usual…

Flying around on a pair of huge speakers, pointed down. There’s a barely audible interference effect that repels it from the ground. It’s quite maneuverable, similar to this Flyboarding video I recently watched:

I ride it into a train junkyard full of salvage materials. I sneak behind a couch near the desk of a president. Lynae distracts him and we sneak out a side door while exaggeratedly ineffective security guards (who are in cahoots with us, anyway) are summoned. After this, the flyer is now made of rope and split into separate entities. A chase begins between a rope-helicopter which sports a lasso on its nose, and the trio of Bobby Hill, Connie Souphanousinphone (King of the Hill) combined with Connie Maheswaran (Steven Universe), and a charming old black guy. Rope is wound into a tight helix about their legs one at a time, and the three of them are propelled through the sky with the unspooling momentum. Connie/Connie switches kissing between the two.

Trying out a new apartment without the supervision of the landlord. Bright windows sunlit in the distance, broad open white spaces. Lying in bed with Lynae I notice a stray container of purple U-Stick glue rolling around the circumference of the room, oddly stuck to the walls with static electricity. As I note this to Lynae, it destabilizes and falls on her, startling her a bit. I say “at least I warned you, imagine the startle if I hadn’t.” Thus woken, we check out the kitchen (with two light switches), the bathroom (two of them), with two big open showers and two toilets each near two doorways. Terribly unprivate huge bathroom.