Month: January 2007

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Free Bike

The best things in life are free? I’d like to agree. Free: friends. Free: bike rides. Free: sore butts.

I rode around the entire northern side of San Francisco today. Don’t ask what inspired me, because inspiration can be depressing. It cleared my head of all that. The pain in my limbs, and in the sudden cramp attack deep in my torso while I watched the sunset on Baker Beach, that clutching muscle-demon I won’t soon forget, was enough to rid me of many woes. Has a way of focusing the mind. Makes me realize a few things…

I’ve been seeking people’s approval too much. Consequentially, my voice has been higher, my words often unnecessary, my intentions confusing even to myself. There’s a balance there (or there should be). You should seek my good graces and I’ll try to find yours too. If I need to get something done it doesn’t matter if I’m gonna be spending 6 hours holed up on my computer to do it—I’m getting it done. It doesn’t matter if I’m not the most social being in the universe if I’m still myself—that’s enough. It doesn’t matter if my blog posts sound like LiveJournal entries—that’s how people keep in touch with me nowadays anyway. I’m free to do any of these things. More free than I thought.

Free things have always been a big draw to me. I’ve never liked paying for things, cause ironically enough it seems to cheapen them. Tiny reminders is the way you keep yourself. Little bike, big town.

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The Nature of Frustration

It’s kind of a tangled ball of string that you have to pluck delicately painstakingly apart; a string that unravels your favorite shirt; a string that trips you in the dark; a string stretched taut between the limits of your patience; the same string scraped by the 10 year-old violinist torturing their parents; it’s a string that makes no sense; a string that defies the reality of the universe.

Much as I’d like to be speaking at length on the failures of string theory in the past 20 years—which I can’t—I’m not. I think instead another list is called for.

Callouts:

  • Planned Parenthood: If you’re gonna try to bill me for things that you said were free, have the balls to call me back. We can have a discussion like civilized people/organizations. Just because you misrepresented information and didn’t ever contact me after my appointment, like the bad one-night stand that I never had, doesn’t mean we can’t be civil. Step off.
  • CSUMB Administration & Records: Please mail my transcripts to me. Please do it now, not when you feel like it. This is important, cause otherwise I don’t go to SF State on the 24th. And you don’t get to continue not stepping off. Step off.
  • S.F.P.D. Meter Maid Task Force: You need to call me back too. And then we can discuss under what circumstances, exactly, free parking isn’t free. Steppoff.
  • My Computer: Houda, you heard me, that was totally uncalled for the other day. Getting unplugged and losing all my work was out of line. You made the list, nowsssstephoff.
  • Email Spammer Using my Domain: I’m just gonna tell you up front, and we’ll keep this simple: you need to DIE. Step off da face of da Urf.

OHthatFEELSgood—out, damned string.

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Glot

Balance

Things that are good:

  1. friends
  2. letters
  3. books
  4. food
  5. sex
  6. creativity
  7. maturity
  8. understanding

Things that are not as good (“are bad”):

  1. weather
  2. bills
  3. money
  4. “Breakin’” (1984)
  5. time management
  6. memory

Eight to six. Not bad.

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Flaming Chili Peppers with Sunglasses and Big Grins

That’s the pattern on them, anyways.

Cryptic messages are better. Better than just telling someone. If you just tell them, they’re all “why is this important? how does it affect me?” Now if you don’t tell them, then they’re all going to ask you, beg you to tell them. Cause obviously there’s a good reason you aren’t telling them.