- I can open the desk at the hostel without pants, no problem.
- Other people (other people who aren’t me) can’t even come downstairs without pants.
- However, I still cannot cook salmon burgers naked and/or pants-free (waffers are still ok).
- I can be in a mariachi band (in my imagination) with no pants, because that’s actually a funnier image than just being in a mariachi band.
- I cannot be sworn in as the President of the United States without wearing pants. It sends the wrong message to the nation.
- I can take a nice bath with absolutely no pants — it is, in fact, recommended.
- Pants are encouraged for all trips to relatives house’s. Gramma has staunch morals.
- I cannot take a driver’s test without pants, but I can help someone get to a driver’s test with no pants.
- I could make mixed drinks with no pants if I were required.
- In fact, I can delegate tasks effectively while managing multiple priorities, solve problems proactively in a dynamic environment, work well against deadlines, all without pants.
- It is still not recommended to go to a job interview without pants.
- Similarly, inspecting apartments without pants can be problematic. Think of the children.
- I do a pretty good “Fuzzbottom McTickleface duke of Catchester” impression, if I am free of any pants I may or may not have worn.
- I wear pants if it’s cold out. It has not been cold out.
- For the record, it is perfectly fine to blog pantsless.
Things that are good:
Things that are not as good (“are bad”):
- “Breakin’” (1984)
- time management
Eight to six. Not bad.
Reasons Not to Kiss Me
- I have a thick beard, and it’s getting thicker by the day.
- I’ve got a sore spot on the bottom left where I bit my lip, and it hasn’t healed yet because I keep sneezing too hard.
- My teeth are crooked.
- I only brush once a day.
- I’ve lost the Burt’s Beez stuff and am back onto the Nivea Lip Care addiction.
- You might accidentally suck my lips off (you don’t know! it could happen!)
- People tell me I smell, just in general.
10 Things I would buy if The Hostel paid me
It’s possible I might get paid to redesign the San Francisco hostel’s website. Money would be good. With that in mind:
- a circle tattoo
- Keith and the Girl Live! California+Boston
- cool new thrift store clothes
- a monthy bus pass
- new socks
- new shoes to go with them
- a ticket to Palm Springs to visit Homepie
- [something I choose not to reveal on a public forum]
- true happiness (and more food)
I’d like to announce I’m not planning on dying soon! Huzzah! I arrived at that conclusion by way of this list I made today, of the things I wanna do before I die:
- travel to Australia
- have an out-of-body experience (preferably not skydiving)
- watch a live birth
- pass along my genetic material to next generation (see above)
- have my own hellacool apartment
- wear a speedo in public
get a haircut from a friend
- shave my head
- be on television
have my own radio show
- invent something useful to the human race
- write a novel
- compile my memoirs (different than above)
Yeah, I admit it’s not a lot. But these are the kind of ideas that come to you over a period of time. Like, a lifetime. Keep an eye on the updated, permanent verison.
10 Topics for Past Entries
- David DeAngelo is a very “cool” man
- My Job
- Crichton’s State of Fear (why people want you to be afraid to read it)
- The Archive — (here, keep this on your hard drive now)
- My Flowers and Trees Movie
- Up North, or the way we were
- CSUMB Sucks and I can prove it.
- Re-do Hello World
- “I am the coolest person I know.”
- Ten Topics for Future Entries
I recently added a few more taglines to supplement the all-purpose, totally true, “blogs Я dum. read GLΘT.”
- Way too much time, I know.
- Yeah. I’m a sucker for free stuff too.
- Everybody’s got a damn blog, don’t they?
- Actually, I don’t have anything better to do.
- Self-centered American naval-gazing at it’s best.
- Boy, do I miss books sometimes.
- XHTML-compliance is a vice.
These turned out a little pessimistic, I admit. Especially since I like blogging more and more lately. I just… I wish there was another word. “Blog” used to mean the mixture of different alcoholic drinks you stole by the capful from your parents liqour cabinet. No, really—I read that in a book.
10 Topics for Future Entries
- Exhibition of Fort Ord Pictures
- Application to be my g/f — with CGI integration
- 10 reasons why America’s not so great no more
- Why you should destroy your computer
- Pictures of people’s hands
- Complete listing of music on my computer
- Reviews of people on MySpace
- Points of Cool (treatise—?)
- My Flowers and Trees movie
- 10 Topics for Past Entries
Five Things I’d like to do More Often
- Write letters to friends
- Link to cool sites
- Make silly little lists