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Dream Journal

Little Girl, Escaped

In the dream, I’m a small girl. There’s a train, a fancy public transit train with a snub nose, bright kindergarten colors on the inside. I’m fidgety in the plastic chair. Two cars, I think? There’s a lot of back and forth running around in there. It reminds me of some dream aircraft I’ve been on. Somehow I escape, a momentary transit stop where I take the opportunity.

The next place I’m at is near a wide swath of lakeside coastline, smooth lawns hosting families picnicking out of wood-clad automobiles in the distance. The lake borders a hill and is in a well-to-do neighborhood. I climb a building that’s built into a hillside, industrial concrete stairs and iron grates. Peering through dusty windows, I see an old diner covered in a thick layer of brown dust. There’s something of it that evokes a streamlined diesel locomotive, connecting it to the previous scene.

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Blog

I wrote this at work

I’ve been waiting for something to happen. Something to push me in the right direction. I don’t want to want that which I don’t have. But I want to want what I want, so I guess I want what I don’t have. Only reason to want something, it seems. Makes perfect sense.

Feeling very absent lately; very useless and unfulfilled. As soon as I wrote those words I dropped into presence, into being-here-ness. Whenever I’m not in it I know that it’s absent, I don’t remember how to get into it. I don’t remember why I would want to be in it. It’s not a thing that makes sense. It’s focus, concentration, awareness, but also somehow the effort is effortless. It’s balance. It’s letting-go-ness, that I keep as an active observer. It’s me being inside myself.

Last night, felt engaged in a way I haven’t for a while. Still a bit forced perhaps, but again I think that may be part of being happy for me now. Staring into a mirror now — with my kaleidoscope in the background. An unusual form of meditation.

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Dream Journal

Dream of Dinosaur (and Furies) Video Game

Strong feeling while it was happening that I’ve had this dream before, that it’s a complete replay.

I’m playing a side-scrolling dinosaur video game that’s quite violent. You start off a fairly standard size, and you complete the level and think you’re through with the game. But instead, you fly over this rocky riverbed area with some snakes — in the development process, we (the developers) made a big deal of there being no snakes in this video game. In order to continue and get to the second act you go and become a small character (perhaps a Compsognathus?) and get brutally ambushed and bitten by dozens of snakes and snake-like dinosaurs (like Vertigo from Primal Rage).

Thereafter you ride on top of boxcars, and get to an island area where a gigantic T-rex head emerges as the hillside itself (like Grant’s final waterfall level of Jurassic Park Rampage Edition). Going into a concrete stairwell, you run into the Furies from Labyrinth (or Fireys, as they’re called in the movie). The Furies turn you into one of them for the next level — in this case, being a young woman trapped in a burned out, rotting, scratched-up stump of wood displayed in a high-end department store. This level is really hard to get past, as the other women there turn you back into a stump, and I get repeatedly get turned into different artfully-aged chunks of wood before I’m woken up by our lovely cat doing a pee-pee-shake dance on the corner of the bed.