The Lost Twitters

Certain things must be forgotten. Sometimes they are innocent things, sometimes they are terrible things, and sometimes they are just things that were awfully dumb. For instance—certain things, such as those below, might be construed as a justifiable reason to fire someone from a mail clerk job. Well… when the job-owners seemed to think that I was “spending work time on the computer” they might be.

‘Cept—funny thing, this—the time I spent writing these were about the only time I did spend not working. I wasn’t even supposed to use the computer for “personal internet use” on lunch breaks. It didn’t matter that I did, of course, but *they said not to*, so hey.

But I was fired anyways. The real reasons are still unclear; a combination of declining an offer to work there permanently, being given work by one person and having another tell me to forget it, and knowing how to internet fact-check better than they. But yes, O Guesser of Passwords, the official, legal reason is, was, and always will be truly memorable and preposterous though: changing desktop WALLPAPER without asking. Pretty bad, right? The termination-worthy meddle: from a vacation photo belonging to the guy who used to work there, to this.

Pick your particular meanings, but I’d say the whole thing was innocent, terrible, and dumb.

  1. @metaphorge I know, right? Is it something in the water? Cause that would explain why I’m ok, since I only drink beer and soda.
  2. My job arc usually goes: start extremely confused, become extremely efficient, then slack off extremely. Still on stage one.
  3. No internet during non-lunchtime? Ahh! Experiencing withdrawals (boredom, darkness, and lack of fact-checking)!
  4. Very glad that no coworkers have thus far asked about my 4th of July. At the same time, this does paint them as uncaring douches.
  5. Being shipping clerk means your hands are made of cardboard, your tongue made of stamps, and your shoes are those little styrofoam peanuts.
  6. Phrase learnt while employed as shipping clerk #31: “Dear Valued Postal Customer, the enclosed parcel was damaged during shipping. Suck it.”
  7. @qDot LOL! Dude, this is why domain hacks are the way of the future:
  8. Dude, the 12 Folsom didn’t have any buses come for an entire hour this morning. I know this because 511 trusts me not to repeat that.
  9. Lots of iPhones dancing in eyes today. Can’t blame you all, seeing how useful my various computers have been lately.
  10. @satiredun LOL X-D But wasabi in the eye + Twitter? Disbelief. Smells like “there’s a small fire burning in my room”

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