Twitter Archive for @Orinz, 2008

  1. Man, these people have a lot of named dance moves. “Kicking the Hobbit” is my favorite.
  2. Heya, Alameda, long time no see! @NomiMaybe your lizards are eyeing my pomegranate champagne.
  3. @bubsy012 Nooooooooooooohwell
  4. Man, I really love txting in traffic. It’s so great we have these technolgies of convenient distraction.
  5. I know we’re not there yet, West Coast, but what the heck… Happy New Beer!
  6. Seems the electrical transformers in my neighborhood don’t know what to do with the extra second, either (ggg-ZUNK!!! wee-oo-wee-oo-wee-oo…)
  7. @tyrsalvia Gah, that was weird. I think I must’ve blacked out for a second.
  8. The song is already stuck in my head. How is it fair that the song is *already* stuck in my head?!
  9. @panavatar See! You do the “whee” thing, too. That’s blatant misuse of your powers for whee.
  10. Yeah, no, I’d really like to cancel. Huh? I’d like to cancel. Uh huh. Cancel. Yes. Here’s my info again. Cancel. First born what?
  11. @geoffreylalonde If only you had missed some. But, like technophobic pokémon, you’ve caught ’em all.
  12. @geoffreylalonde knows what a good profile pic is, too. Almost as important if you ask me.
  13. I… dammit, unintentioned abbreviational mimesis. Abandoning after FOUR years. Lexical codec FAIL.
  14. What’s that? The same day I migrate alla sudden $94.50 is preemptively renewed? No, Lunarpages.com. Hosted me 4 years but now—we’re through
  15. Would it be morally wrong to enter the Rickroll hotline as a domain’s administrative contact phone number?
  16. @panavatar Small town, huh? I wonder if I can get KrOB to organize my records for me.
  17. I don’t think many people acknowledge what a big step in a relationship it is to merge web hosting accounts. I sure know it is.
  18. @sonomabuzz I believe the profound part to which you refer is about bittersweetness? It’s just something I say. I like chocolate.
  19. Watching Breakin’ 1: Gas Lantern Boogaloo. White people are so klutzy.
  20. Ok, you think I’m twittering about you, but I’m NOT twittering about you. Except now I am (you vain bitch, Carly Simon).
  21. Anything worth doing will, eventually, become bittersweet. The surprise lies in finding out how.
  22. Well, since I’ve now pitched my biz idea to someone who isn’t also my fiancée, I hope he likes it too. It’s too young to die.
  23. @Ozreiuosn You really shouldn’t have bought him his own stupid iPhone.
  24. If Train O leaves Museum R at approx 5:30pm and (family * time since)^2, can Train O arrive at Station SF before heat death of the universe?
  25. Alright, alright! Like herding cats through a museum wasn’t reward enough, I’m done with train pictures.
  26. Such an odd thing, revisiting fond, faded memories from childhood with an objective high-megapixel DSLR.
  27. Choo choo! Railroad museum! I knew there was a reason I came back to this stupid town.
  28. Why sleep, when you can design pie-in-the-sky business plans and visit truck stop restaurants?
  29. Ah, yes iPhone transgression #1: tweeting about your dumb new iPhone. Moving on to #2: http://tinyurl.com/74jh98
  30. @Ozreiuosn Which is to say, of course, not very often 😛
  31. Well, thanks to @Ozreiuosn, I don’t have to keep the Christmas iPhone a secret anymore. Yeah, I’m one ‘a those people now.
  32. @Ozreiuosn Crap! I’ve been outed!
  33. The great unanticipated faux pas of our relationship is that BOTH families live within driving distance. No one told us THIS would happen.
  34. If these Almond Roca nuggets don’t hold out, we may not last another night in the wilderness of Sacramento.
  35. Isn’t it nice to visit home for the holidays? Except replace ‘home’ with ‘crowded freeways’ and ‘visit’ with ‘bring emergency rations for.’
  36. Is it over? Is it finally over?
  37. I won the race 😀
  38. @bob1woodboy Well, I have at least one very good hypothesis…
  39. And now, finally, the traditional Christmas race to get new jammies on!
  40. Can’t help but notice how few cars are on the road this CHRISTMAS MORNING.
  41. It appears that we slept through 2+ hours of the sound of an old phone ringing. Battery life would appear to confirm this.
  42. ALARM FAIL! Errant klaxons have failed me before, but never like this. Gonna miss Christmas?
  43. It’s KRIMMIS!
  44. “Look, there’s a child attacking that poor tiger!” “It’ll have to be put down…”
  45. Most popular giftbso far is “war string,” a loop of yarn used variously to tame tigers, garrote adversaries, and ride canines..
  46. Lotta family here. The pile of presents is taller than the tree. There are more in the garage. I sympathize with the tree.
  47. The rain, I feign, is driving me insane (actually, it’s the intense traffic and sleep deprivation).
  48. It’s beginning to look a lot like we’re gonna be frickin’ late.
  49. @satiredun Be forewarned, though, if that guy starts repeating ” where’s the squid?” you should leave IMMEDIATELY.
  50. @satiredun Now I can say it: I know exactly how you feel. This thing is a proprietor of putz par excellance.
  51. How many days have I had this? Yeah, I have a friend who just got broken out of jail for free.
  52. The first rule of holiday hint dropping: always confuse your marks. Or is it?
  53. Oh, thank goodness. I’ve so far avoided any hints about my numerous bookstore visits.
  54. @tyrsalvia and I shall now participate in that hallowed holiday tradition, the Last-Minute Gift Hussle-Fuss.
  55. ‘Tis better to give than to receive. Example: our open network, The Mrowr Praxis, seems to work faster with the freeloaders than without.
  56. @tyrsalvia Sounds like soylent greenwashing to me.
  57. @sherilyn You hipster scum… the more you tighten your grip, the more thrift items will slip through your fingers (let’s call it a mashup).
  58. This is madness, Streetsweeper! Only by joining our forces will we ever be able to defeat the scourge that is… _DOUCHEBAG PARKING JOBS_.
  59. My only consolation is knowing that whatever jerk poured ice on my car last night probably froze to death anyways.
  60. Oi–“@6¿¡‘;:/-.,?’«»&?1_!’# MUST FEIGN NORMaL SLEEp ScHEDULE
  61. @panavatar “I should be more concerned—it’s a lot harder to make a dinosaur than a baby!” Got that right, ladyfriend.
  62. I know this makes me old to the kids, but when the COMPUTER is the thing that stays on in a power outage, it’s still bizzarro-world.
  63. Oh yeah, ho ho ho. Your single strand of lights would look impressive if it were on the actual dollhouse your estate was modelled on.
  64. Christmastime lollygagging in St. Francis Wood. Seems there is enough parking in the city, it’s just unevenly distributed.
  65. Oh God, what if I turn into one of those people? Those… People.
  66. this thing is weirder than I thought it would be
  67. Honestly, who worships fruit? Well, besides my Canadian friend. He’s an old-time fruit-worshiper.
  68. My parents have just finished their pitch—they’re trying to get me into a cult this Christmas. Can’t say it’s not tempting.
  69. @bubsy012 It’s only silent because you don’t have the volume turned up on GChat. Also, you’re not on GChat.
  70. I love Christmas. It’s the one time of year I can pull off my North Pole undies. Not, uh, “pull off,” but… oh, you know what I mean.
  71. @nomimaybe I knew it! Called! Hope Springs Eternal. Coincidentally, I found a piece of tri-tip that I lost. Aren’t the holidays wonderful?
  72. Desiging website for compatibility w/ Internet Explorer 6 + extra beer equals NOOOOO! Box model FAIL:!!
  73. Ha! Santa Claus killed all those people that were naked! Thank you, Bad Movie Night. Remind me why we don’t drnuk twtiter? aH!
  74. The self-satisfied giggling furball in my room wants everyone to know her finger puppets are SUPERCUTE. I stress: this is not peer-reviewed.
  75. To be fair, it’s mostly “Here comes Fatty with his Sack o’ Shit (and all them Stinkin’ Reindeer)” that does it. The Motown stuff is great.
  76. John Waters makes me feel dirty. However, his Christmas album is excellent, since I enjoy the “oh, I feel so dirty… and cheery!” feeling.
  77. @bubsy012 You can buy booze! Christmas booze!
  78. Feh—rainclothes!?! Nothing that can’t be accomplished by simply shellacking this faux fur hat.
  79. Gah, I wish I had some dry clothes. I remember putting them out…
  80. @sherilyn Personally, I think 29 is enough. Nice closer by the way. “The following film may contain one or more missing reels -The Mgmt”
  81. Ha! Look at those poor suckers who left a whole load of laundry out on the clothesline.
  82. @sfslim I believe you mean Professor Lidenbrock—Fogg is famous for his fantastical journey around the world rather than under it. So says I
  83. Impudent female! Return to your erstwhile slumber! I have necessity of hiding many, many tabs from you.
  84. Iä! Sadly, there will be no organized Cthulhu Caroling this solstice. Thankfully, “Him Who Is Not to be Named” will remain nameless.
  85. This Solstice, I’d like to celebrate by getting up early enough that the shortest day of the year doesn’t seem like it.
  86. This will be the latest-rising sun I will see until next year. That’ why I stayed awake. Yeah.
  87. My ladyfriend @panavatar had a brilliant idea earlier today. What’re your plans for this Solstice (Sunday)? Anyone up for Cthulu caroling?
  88. Friday is the best day to go out. Does that mean one should not simply go home and eat tri-tip, “California’s cut of beef?” No.
  89. Elsewhere Public Works Agency txts me: Beware false nonchalance. Under no circumstance visit these jack-a-napes: http://jejuneinstitute.org
  90. Recommendation from @sfslim indicates I should investigate the Jejune Institute. Random 800 number posted on way home indicates conspiracy.
  91. Singing? Dancing? It’s fantastic. I’m as baffled as anyone at my non-exposure to musical theater before age 23. I’ve made up for lost time.
  92. The Snowmiser show tonight was preposterously entertaining, and my talented roommate @rhiannononon deserves to be nominated for a SFEmmy.
  93. @nomimaybe That’s what I thought about my vintage Model M keyboard, then a birthday came along, and whadda ya know. Keep hope alive.
  94. @frankchu “Amulfications of Adeste Fidelis Laeti Triumphantes,” definitely. I think it’s more poetic.
  95. “That’s more than enough housework,” she might say. And then she’d push him out the door to see the Snowmiser show. Oh, dreams do come true.
  96. Nobody but me gets sentimental about switching keycaps anymore.
  97. Police shoot real bullets into a special barrel. My roommate, ever clever, asks “they have fish in there?” Officer says, “not anymore.”
  98. Bang bang bang! Multiple shots fired outside my home in the Mission! Eh, they don’t mean anything. http://tinyurl.com/3jzrq2
  99. @rickabruzzo Truly UNCANNY. Now, where are my new Shamizens?
  100. @rickabruzzo My girlfriend and I really want to know how you’ve somehow accessed both our iTunes libraries from your radio station.
  101. @SisterMable Really? Cause you seem like the type that belongs on http://wipipedia.org/
  102. I love to type! Type, type, type! Type and be mail monkey. Prefer type.
  103. @bubsy012 My heart goes out to all graduates of your institution. May the many random letters on your diplomas serve you well.
  104. Wish fulfillment! I has new keyboard from love-of-life @panavatar! But it really, really smells. http://i42.tinypic.com/16ji…
  105. Wikipedia gives us many gifts of knowing— I wanna know why someone would create an account just to disparage Blackie the Horse.
  106. On Wikipedia, everyone can hear you whine.
  107. When you use “quotation marks” like a pair of tongs—to handle ideas you “have contempt for”—it’s not “punctuation” it’s “being a douchebag.”
  108. @Ozreiuosn I see you too! Boy, this tweet would’ve been more effective four hours ago. Let’s pretend, shall we?
  109. Bastard keeps trying to speedy-delete Chicken John’s Wikipedia page! http://tinyurl.com/3rqjnt
  110. I wonder if they ever think about me, and my massive unreleased cache of recordings featuring them… http://archive.homepie.org
  111. “He said ‘you weren’t very good either, I think you bit me,’ and I said, ‘I didn’t exactly kiss you back, Monkey.'” Kids say the darndest…
  112. My, the secrets I hide by not announcing them here. Too many hidden projects lately.
  113. 48 years later, zombie Khrushchev rises from the grave, commandeers an Iraqi reporter, and gets his day on YouTube http://tinyurl.com/5q3ajx
  114. So that’s how it’s gonna be, new router? Either I can access you, OR the internet? Well, I know who my favorite is…
  115. @sfslim Ooh! Ooh! Do hemoglobin! Just reading @RichardDawkins talk about it today. http://en.wikipedia.org/wik…
  116. The verdict: no one gets jury duty! Yay! Except everyone who did, which in this case wasn’t me.
  117. Here goes something…
  118. Oh yeah, this’ll be fun to ride through first thing tomorrow morning. Do they even have bike racks at the courthouse? Bet you they’re $1.50.
  119. Let’s see… what’s the UGLIEST possible outfit I can wear to jury duty…
  120. ? rrrrah-DAT dat-dat-DUH dah-DUM-dum… dah-DAT da-da-DAH duh-dum… da-DAT dat-dah-DUH dah-DUM-dum… DUN-DUN-DUN-DUN DUH DUNNN! Teh-BIRTHDAY! ?
  121. MAH NA MAH NA… doot-doo dee doodoo. MAH NA MAH NA… doot-doo dee doo. BIRTHDAY.
  122. I can smell my birthday baking in the kitchen.
  123. My mother inspires me to add this: I have a great relationship, live in an amazing city, and can be elected to the U.S. Congress tomorrow.
  124. Dog died, GF’s mom died, fired from two jobs for absurdly bizarre reasons… I dunno, 2008’s kinda sucked for me. Or has *24* sucked?
  125. Great, like 2008 needed another second. 4… 3… 2… 1… 1… Happy New Year! http://tr.im/27g5
  126. “REALLY!?! … not really.” It’s that magical space in-between that makes deception such a delight.
  127. In fact, cannibalism is the only crime mentioned by name in the Constitution.
  128. Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab perfume annoying me again… if I smell cookies, I damn well should be able to EAT cookies.
  129. Rompope, Egg Nog, and Cherry Coke sprinkled w/ Nutmeg (a.k.a “holiday cinnamon sand”) = my new holiday beverage, the Cherry Nog Creamsicle.
  130. @Rhiannononon Is it… a prospecting pick? The kind that a gold-miner would use?
  131. Perfect! This Christmas tree smells just like Christmas. Thank you, Delancey Street guys.
  132. @SisterMable It was on the nightstand, and so was her retainer. It leaked last night, and she put in her retainer today. I’m fascinated too.
  133. Anyways, the final verdict is that my girlfriend needs to stop mixing drugs—the caffeine in migraine pills and the caffeine in Dr. Pepper.
  134. @girlsgonemad The only cardiac dysrhythmia she has is when it skips a beat on account she loves me so much.
  135. “You can OD on Benadryl,” she opines.
  136. So she has me call Poison Control because she just ingested some anti-itch gel and has the shakes, but guess what? It’s liquid Benadryl.
  137. I seem to be getting a lot of non-fake, contributing, real people who want to follow me on Twitter. What am I doing wrong? [97]
  138. @rhiannononon And you are ever so welcome, Ms. Easyplease. Turkey Pot Pie tomorrow.
  139. Well, seems it flew right past blazer season strait into scarf season. #whitewhine
  140. Whoa! The chicken in my dream last night scratched my hand FOR REAL! Krueger Chicken! (what, you don’t dream chickens?)
  141. @sfslim All I know is that in the 4 hours b/w that tweet and the last, we all lost a beloved friend… the Obamase.
  142. @rhiannononon I likr beer! And the other thign,,,
  143. Unemployed game #113: bagging your groceries at FoodsCo so fast, that when they eventually hire baggers, you’ll be the top of the list.
  144. Oh, btw, the sunset at Tire Beach was *lovely* …thanks for asking (this ambient intimacy thing only works if you care, too).
  145. And yes, until I get a “real job” as a Lightroom jockey, it’s just this, and futile entreaties to be a roasted chestnut vendor.
  146. Why is everyone always asking me, “why are you uploading Flickr pictures instead of getting a job?” This is the closest thing I have, folks.
  147. RELATED: one of the advantages of old-fashioned number-punching SMS it that it’s time-consuming and distracts you. From, you know, pirates.
  148. Post Readymade craft faire In-N-Out plans spoiled by drunk, vomiting teenage pirates. Much more annoying than real pirates.
  149. The snowclone stuck in my brain is writing checks my clever wit can’t cash.
  150. Interestingly enough, Stigler’s Law of Eponymy (a.k.a. rule of lesser attribution) was… that’s right, not discovered by Stigler. Figures.
  151. Man, I should have never taught her the magic pattern-interrupt “nobody cares about your stupid problems.” Now she’s abusing the magicalness
  152. Hold on… this is bizarre. Are we so backward a culture that we still have no word yet for a unicorn/pegasus hybrid?
  153. Most of Sunday was spent biking Golden Gate Park, pursuing the opposite of claustrophobia & tearing yet ANOTHER hole in a pants’ crotch.
  154. Rather unfortunate, considering @sfslim makes people better Tweeters.
  155. Bazaar Bizarre included sightings of @nomimaybe, @sflsim & @nifercritter, but as @panavatar previously opined, it was “rather impersonal.”
  156. Thanksgiving gratefully spent w/ @sonomabuzz & @annielalo—otherwise known as “my parents” (only one of whom actually has a Twitter account)
  157. Got some ‘splaining to do…
  158. @sandwichgirl I think you nailed it. You may have missed the ‘God thinks church is more important than football’ signs, though.
  159. @tyrsalvia OMG! Flashbacks to my youth in Palm Springs where his metal visage, guarding a jug full of garbage, would scald 6 months a year.
  160. Ok, hypothetically… say I’m a househusbund and I get chores (“women’s work”) done better in a skirt. Backwards sexism or stereotype hacking?
  161. @sleepbotzz kissed hello through the window! Oh, it’s cool to live in a small town. Now, how to get the smudge off.
  162. That photo safari I went to? All that cross-processing last night? You can discover what I was yammering about now: http://tr.im/TISafari
  163. @Orinz Ahh! Subject-verb, subject verb! And it’s more than five minutes ago… dammit! #OCDgrammarian
  164. Playing Secret Weakness again… My girlfriend is the only person I’ve ever known to have be viscerally repulsed by the EVIL THAT IS YARN.
  165. I, I shall go Flickring into this good night, and like happy children coloring outside lines, will cross-process till I can color no more.
  166. OH: “Eww! You ate something off that Comic Sans!” (Yes, OH in my bedroom)
  167. That’ll be the last time I do 2 craft fairs in a row. Wait, what’s that @panavatar? The schedule says otherwise? Well then. Nevermind.
  168. @panavatar You’re just sayin’ that cause I have a binaural brainwave entrainment generator and translucent pink goggles. Nothin’ special.
  169. The quality of geotagging on Treasure Island is horrendous, especially these music festival ne’er-do-wells… Oh, me? I just woke up for this
  170. Plan is proceeding perfectly (she gets a craft fair, I get a Photojojo safari on Treasure Island).
  171. Me, I just cleaned house and baked some homemade bread. In my favorite manskirt. How’s your Friday going?
  172. Ah, little reminders of what I dreamt last night: Chicken John flushed his brain down the toilet… to hide it. It’s cold in the septic tank
  173. Another game, “Secret Weakness:” I play by watching someone use my blue hair dye, then getting totally depressed. Everyone’s is different!
  174. Another of Lynae’s good apartment games (there are many): What Did I Come In Here For? My least fav is called “Find The Smell.”
  175. “Honey, I love you.” “I love youtube.” … “What was that last syllable?”
  176. Yeah, I busted a tire on my new/old Univega, but on the plus side I did get to pet that nice black cat which crossed… my… path.
  177. @laughingsquid He thinks “Tenderloin” means “bad part of town,” and that San Francisco’s Tenderloin is in North Beach. Wakka wakka.
  178. I’ll be a great angry old man. At last, then, to blossom into the charming, noble truthsayer that publicly decries piss-poor planning. Yup.
  179. Sure, some people will be rude and show up for free day when they can obviously pay normal museum rate, but bringin’ em in by the busload?
  180. CAS allows tour buses on free day. If you can charter a bus, you can pay admission. Line stretched to De Young.
  181. How do I know I underslept? Only four tweets to read. Perfect storm of street-sweeping day/free museum day/not enough tweets day.
  182. Everyone’s day sucked except mine. And I watched the Star Wars Holiday Special. THAT’S HOW BAD THINGS ARE.
  183. @Ozreiuosn I just thought the rolled pant-legs were similar to ye olde gay colored-bandanna code that says things like “I enjoy sploshing.”
  184. Just think: one day culture will finally romanticize public transit, and the hipster elite will ride fixed-gear BART cars.
  185. Ugh. Done. Figured out why the right pant-leg gets rolled up, and the BIG importance of tightening the seat. Remind me when I do this again.
  186. Never understood the necessity of using “mark” to mark the start of something. Why not another name? Orin. On my Orin… ORIN.
  187. I’m making the perhaps questionable decision to take my new (old) bike with it’s new (old) seat on a 6-mile flyering errand. Pray 4 ma butt.
  188. Seems I’ve ended up at my folks’ place in Santa Rosa. How does this keep happening? S’not like I planned it, called them, then drove here…
  189. OWW. Have now extracted a tiny inch-long pin deceptively lodged in foot. And here I thought I had nerve damage—pins and needles, indeed.
  190. @bubsy012 Whoa! Are you serious?! I enjoy turkey AND books! Also, hello again finally.
  191. Against all sound financial advice, I’m going to attend something that costs money. Don’t fail me now, Dr. Hal.
  192. It’s 53.95, ok? Stop asking,
  193. @Ozreiuosn Bill Adama is your new bicycle.
  194. Unexpectedly, I respect someone in the msm again. MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann explains why gay marriage is about LOVE: http://tr.im/101i
  195. @sonomabuzz Don’t worry, there’ll be another soon enough. Like, 12 hours.
  196. @Ozreiuosn I said amateur, didn’t I? (P.S. – Did your Flickr icon change inexplicably this morning? Mine did.)
  197. So, what are my fellow amateur numerologists planning to do today, November 11th, at 11:11? I plan on having an epiphany.
  198. I didn’t use the word ‘retard’ until I was 14.
  199. My mom’s a sweet lady but she may be purposefully overestimating how much I’d enjoy special ed kids. She should know better, having done so.
  200. @Ozreiuosn I like Sookie! I mean, she has her foibles, but she’s a MarySue who gives it up to vampires and reads redneck’s minds. C’mon…
  201. Recession sucks. That is all.
  202. This is getting ridiculous. It’s been a week. I need to stop dreaming of the Obama presidency.
  203. I can’t wait to have a kid. There’ll be a little person I can teach to power-cycle the router for me. But maybe I’ll get a monkey butler.
  204. @sonomabuzz I dunno, I can see the new photos. Are there more? Check again.
  205. All I wanna ask my fetishistic fan on Flickr is this: what makes you think I want *every* photo tagged girlfriend & feet also tagged ‘sexy’?
  206. You know… it’s stupid, it’s sentimental, but I still think it’s important to own at least one pair of boxers that two people can fit inside
  207. When you have 6171 Flickr pictures, going sequentially backwards can be a stunning perceptual-reset… *this* much closer to figuring me out
  208. @sfslim They say the cost of living here is high. I say it still beats the alternative (in more ways than one).
  209. @rhiannononon I am not a follower, but rather a believer. I have been touched. There is noodly residue.
  210. Hiccup, burn self with boiling ramen, realize I missed #the NoOn8 rally… I don’t say this often, but FAIL. And I still have the hiccups.
  211. @BarackObama is joking about dogs in his press conference. Said he wants a mutt, like him. Also: Nancy Reagan seances. Dude IS too awesome.
  212. If you chose B), congratulations… you were wrong, too. We really need a better sleep schedule.
  213. Hypothetically: say your girlfriend ALWAYS sleeps longer than you. Do you A) stay quiet hours on end B) wake gently C) just go back to sleep
  214. It doesn’t matter that my local grandpa’s collective helped me find the right wrench. This Model M keyboard is dead now. Sad face.
  215. Consider the rule that every idea implies its opposite. What effect do you think all the concentrated anti-gay praying will eventually have?
  216. @sleepbotzz Why am I favorable to http://or.ly/ ? The owl. Also, nobody else likes Libya.
  217. “We’ll see if Mr. Obama becomes Uncle Sam or Uncle Tom” Yes, @chickenjohn, I agree that Ralph Nader can now go eat a bag of dicks.
  218. @eriney My outpost in the east, defender of the spectrum, student embodied, and poster child for female-loving graphic designers everywhere.
  219. @smellmyhead Bradbury was a total dick, but knew how to tell a butterfly story. Wait—is he dead yet? Anyways my grampa likes swearwords too
  220. @metaphorge Compulsory voting works well in Australia, except the Northern Territory where previously those votes didn’t count. Puerto Rico?
  221. Anyone who’s had a dinosaur named after them (Crichtonsaurus) has done good in my book. Resquiscat in pace, artifex celebrus.
  222. You weren’t always easy to love, Crichton; you took unpopular scientific positions and had odd tastes, but you made me strong with wonder.
  223. And no, I’ll never forget the bit in “Next” where he fictionalizes one of his critics then makes him a gay baby-pedophile with a micropenis.
  224. I’ll never forget the postulated intelligent bacteria in “Sphere,” caught in a human machine, which it concludes is a test meant for itself.
  225. Michael Crichton, my childhood favorite author, has died. He is survived by his fans’ love (and blood relatives, I suppose) http://tr.im/u34
  226. Encouraging news of two lawsuits to overturn Prop. 8 comes from none other than former President @Bartlet http://tr.im/u2t
  227. @sfslim Me too! And it’s a nice synchronicity that yours just popped up before I was about to do just that.
  228. Was there a one of you who did not feel a little more courageous, a little more centered, a little better tonight? If so txt and I’ll share.
  229. We just wanted to know where you were cause we’re going out soon, prolly to Pirate Cat.
  230. @Ozreiuosn We’ll return again. Two steps forward, one step back. Two steps forward, one step back…
  231. It’d be hard to overestimate how much San Fran likes this guy judging by the number of times I’ve called back his name to strangers tonight.
  232. Dear @pmcsf: I have heard the bad news and want to tell you that it’s not over. There are many more disgusting things than poop.
  233. The exciting and eccentric Mission superego has made a comeback from its long winter, right here at Pirate Cat Radio.
  234. The air fills with victorious trumpets and shouts of joy, adults skip down the street chanting and laughing, yelling their champion’s name.
  235. Ok, there is quite a lot of shouting and car honking and I KNOW there’s no world series the Giants are in.
  236. One minute. This is it. Pools closing… now.
  237. My Quebeçois friend is getting bored and wants to know when California will finally close the pools.
  238. I’m glad that percentages only ever get this exciting once every four years. Virginia: 49.8% for Obama to 49.3% for that other one!
  239. Breaking news! This just in: Orin Zebest now projects that San Francisco and everyone he likes will vote for Barack Obama!
  240. Even though it almost surely won’t last, there’s an undeniable joy in seeing Alabama, Texas, and West Virginia turn blue.
  241. If the Sheehan-mobile went “AOOGAH!” instead of simply cranking its crummy RV radio up to 11 I’d feel worse about not voting for her.
  242. Indiana polls closing… less than 10 minutes… guys, are you excited? You excited yet? WE’RE GETTING EXCITED.
  243. Virginia Tech’s polling station is 6.5 miles from campus, an unmarked one-lane road w/ 30 parking spots… for 5600 voters. http://tr.im/swo
  244. Here’s something weird, though: the “I Voted” stickers in SF include Chinese, which should translate as ??—but mine has 2 extra sinographs
  245. Line was about a dozen long, took 10 minutes to drop off 2 ballots. Nice having the place be two blocks away. ¡Ya Voté! #votereport
  246. It’s weird being a Democrat and voting for the presumed winner. That’s never happened for me.
  247. Why must democracy wait for my girlfriend’s hair to dry?
  248. Fact is, I know only one American NOT voting for #Obama. He’s in Missouri, unfortunately, and it’s a toss-up state. We’ll see about that.
  249. Obama landslide in Dixville Notch, fellow patriots. http://tinyurl.com/5nbdhu
  250. Suit up, America. Game on.
  251. I just wanna let you all know that even though I’ve been tweet-fasting lately, I fully intend to be hollering with the best of you tomorrow.
  252. Leeeetle bit worried about that electrical cord (the one I drilled a hole in) that’s still up on the roof.
  253. The good choice now is to stay inside and pretend November is only one week long. We’ll be dropping off our ballots tomorrow.
  254. Are you serious, Universe? Obama’s grandmother dies ONE DAY before her grandson gets elected president? http://tinyurl.com/5ltoos
  255. Think I may have permanently scalded off some of my thumb-hair while finishing up that giant metal cabinet. It’s… a long story.
  256. Very pleased at my apparent decision to avoid Nanowrimo this year. Writer? I hardly knew ‘er! Ha hahaHA! I wanna job.
  257. Woooo!!!! I’m caught in a space-time loop! Double existence folding backwards on me! (Eat your riboflavin, kids.)
  258. @sfslim “The difference between the same icon and almost the same icon is the difference between rainbows and rainbow gumballs.” -Mark Twain
  259. This might be the perfect day for a series of scientific debates. I’ve prepared for Wonderfest with 3 pens and a blank notebook.
  260. @sfslim @Ozreiuosn If you guys are gonna have the same icon, and tweet the same things, just go ahead and finish each other’s sentences too.
  261. About to hold my Batboy and touch my Batboy at a rockin’ house party it Richmond. One more Boone soon!
  262. Batboy commenceth! Fear, mortals!
  263. Frontiersman makes much better use of my squirrel-based resources, and I can bring my David Bowie knife.
  264. If I’da worked harder, I coulda made a pretty decent vacuum. But that costume sucks.
  265. Oh lord… she’s putting on the rabbit-skin pants. It’s like having a centaur girlfriend, except without the smell.
  266. Current plans include a performance of Batboy in Alameda and a street party in Richmond with the Neverwas. Et toi? Y tu? Und Sie? And you?
  267. @Ozreiuosn Something’s blocking out the sunlight here. What did I miss? Did Obama win yet?
  268. “That’s not rust, it’s a patina!”
  269. Give it up for Paul! Paul will be going home, as it were, with a 40 of Mickeys and three bags of pre-sorted recycling. Much love to ya, man.
  270. Said metal cabinet was procured from the basement of a goldrush-era house & brought upstairs w/ help from one of our helpful local homeless.
  271. Scraping the shit outta this giant metal cabinet I got off Craigslist, listening to animal sounds recorded on vinyl. Good times.
  272. @satiredun Ah, I remember when I saw the Decemberists with you. Fond memories of San Francisco moments.
  273. @SisterMable You know that you and @Ozreiuosn have the same icon? Y’all anti-octorians are getting confusing—I recommend rainbows somewhere
  274. @Ozreiuosn You know that you and @SisterMable have the same icon? Y’all anti-octorians are getting confusing—I recommend rainbows somewhere
  275. Looking outside, I’m thinking that the ol’ toilet-paper-wrapped mummy is prolly a bad idea this year.
  276. I had to take pictures quickly. Sometimes I even surprise myself: http://tr.im/SakaiSun
  277. Guys, it worked! “Star Wars Holiday” is now a Hot Election Topic http://tinyurl.com/69cj5a
  278. “Always check the subject line. Always DOUBLE check the subject line. What’d I tell you!?” -career counselor, if they actually knew anything
  279. Had to get up to move the car. I’ve been awake fairly Long Now.
  280. There’s a hiring freeze at Salvation Army. Roll that off your tongue just once. Hiring freeze at Salvation Army.
  281. Sometimes I get annoyed when bums refuse to ask me for money, but then I remember, hey! …I don’t have any damn money!
  282. The Sakai greenhouses in Richmond, long abandoned but still growing, are scheduled to become condos. Gather ye rosebuds while ye may.
  283. Abandoned greenhouses? A model railroad club only open on Sunday? This adventure feels like it should have dinosaurs.
  284. Few ever advise what to do if you feel underqualified to vote on something. I don’t fully comprehend Prop 12—therefore, me not vote it.
  285. To clarify: SFBG thinks G.W. Bush is “insulting” to our plant. Scrutinizing each item makes me feel like a proud little citizen.
  286. I can no longer trust the SF Guardian based on their illogical non-support of Prop R. Researching contest-by-contest with pen in hand.
  287. @satiredun F1RST!!!!1! OMGWTFBBQ
  288. Oh my, http://fivethirtyeight.com is looking good right about now. Chance of an Obama landslide is 48.15%. Still: vote early, vote often.
  289. I have been shoehorned & conscripted into a late-night Wienerschnitzel run. Things bode slightly worse for my project’s completion.
  290. It’s not the most elegant little roof nest, but the moon sure looks pretty out here… the 60 watt CFL moon.
  291. Although drilling a hole in the extension cord isn’t an ideal laptop on the roof scenario, it works. Pfft… “money and a room of your own.”
  292. @sonomabuzz Distraction is the main problem with writing on a computer. I find a fullscreen notepad program helps: http://tr.im/jvn
  293. When Obama wins I’ll have a job and health insurance and fellowship in an inspired Democratic base. Until then… West Wing reruns.
  294. Skills I have: interacting with the public, web design and administration, many others. Skills I lack: getting out of the house before 4.
  295. In the dream, it’s not 2:00 in the afternoon.
  296. In the dream, those letterpress drawers are recursive miniatures of each floor, and moving a single slat changes whole rooms.
  297. In the dream, the fish tanks line the walls of all four stories in the kingdom.
  298. In the dream, the gumball machine in the shower is mostly decorative.
  299. You know what my problem is? I’m not forgiving enough. It’s been 3 months. I need to forget… that I was FIRED FOR CHANGING DESKTOP WALLPAPER
  300. 10-23-07! Never Forget! OiNK, R.I.P. Too many good places have we lost, friends. When pigs fly indeed… #oink #anniversary
  301. I’m my girlfriend’s mail bitch. It’s actually a much more pleasant gig than my last job as a shipping clerk. Go figure.
  302. @mikl_em Didn’t it just seem like a cameo from Futurama? Or am I thinking of “The Guide to Fats?”
  303. Ok, I forgot that everything is funnier in Capslock. HOMOS FOUND A SHAVING LOOPHOLE.
  304. @eriney Thankfully, face vs. leg razors are less problematic for you. Why do fundies think God hates homos? Homos found a shaving loophole.
  305. I don’t know what most men are complaining about when HE shaves HIS face with HER leg razor, it seems to me they’re just… OWWWW.
  306. How fascinated am I at the notion that Carl’s Jr. is hiring PhDs instead of me, just because PhD looks better on a résumé? Very fascinated
  307. Here’s hoping folks at UCSF give points for cleverly circumventing their Kobayashi Maru job application.
  308. For the record: generally not necessary to heavily JPG-compress your black-n-white unaliased Verdana title banner. Must supress nerd-froth…
  309. The toughest part of web-form job applications is overcoming the powerful need to scold piss-poor design. Oh, nevermind—no email link.
  310. I don’t care if forks ? knives; forks ? spoons either @panavatar. You wanna turn my hindbrain into a tinebrain? Stop throwing ’em then.
  311. Recently, I’ve been getting into floatation tanks. Wondering if I have any consciousness-minded friends so I can get into a floatation tank.
  312. @Ozreiuosn Did your old one get too RUSTY? BWaaahahaHA! #obvious #joke
  313. Somehow, I managed to avoid procrastinating all weekend. Oh, hello there Twitter.
  314. @metaphorge I’ll join you on the het-buttsex bandwagon. Hope that comes out right (ha!) @SFslim is on record comparing it to Project Runway
  315. @sfslim Your educational topic sounds a whole lot like topical politics.
  316. Visit was good family fun. I need a better 5-letter word for “parents,” but thanks for tweet-love @tyrsalvia, @SisterMable & @metaphorge 😉
  317. Such behavior is especially evident when said company are the same people responsible for that upbringing. Folks, you still read my tweets?
  318. My middle-class upbringing causes me to do some strange things. Like clean and tidy and vacuum before company comes over. I blame the media.
  319. Ten resumes dispatched into the world today! Glad to say that only one is a confirmed paper airplane conversion…
  320. Another one of my favorite apartment games, especially late at night: Will This Require Pants?
  321. Oh friends, next time you have me cornered, ask me to tell the tale of the scalding hot garbage-water bath.
  322. @sfslim They always get us somehow don’t they? Just some female watching it across the room… before you know it you’re rooting for “spacey.”
  323. Retweeting @Ozreiuosn: Set your phasers to “folksy”
  324. Stop talking about Joe the Plumber! There’s gonna be a video game online TOMORROW. #current #mccain
  325. Why do you like you’re running mate, McCain? **Blink, blink, blink** That, my friends, is called a tell. #current #mccain
  326. Imma make a red white and blue t-shirt from the fabric of Democracy that tells people to get off my lawn. Sorry, curmudgeon-lovers. #current
  327. Negative ad discussion summary: “No, you’ve been throwing spitballs!” “No, you!” “Spitball thrower!” #current
  328. Why is no one ever concerned with the well-being of a little plumber named Mario? #current
  329. Neato! Plugin got approved for hosting at WordPress.org. I feel so smart. Now, to upload to the svn… uh… upload to… Subversion works how?
  330. @flocker Whee! You don’t know how long I’ve waited for 2.0! Not that I haven’t been using the public beta for months… but still, whee!
  331. Things I didn’t know… the word “plankton” has an opposite: nekton. Both coined by scientific illustrator Ernst Haeckel. Art has power.
  332. @sleepbotzz So you’re saying that you have FIVE WEEKS worth of music on your radio station, and you think I don’t care to know these things?
  333. What I’d give to be a garbageman, a janitor, the men’s room attendant for a dirty movie theater in this town. Anything.
  334. One always wonders with evolution. What if trilobytes had lived? What if 60s-era German lounge had birthed funk, instead of James Brown?
  335. Twitter only allows so many ancient pageloads per while, and Last.fm never scrobbled the songs. Guess I’m a meme vector cause I just FAILed.
  336. When I lost my hostel job in January, I left behind a 4 hour power-gypsy playlist—now I’m cross-checking Last.fm and Twitter to get it back
  337. @laughingsquid I was under the impression, from @sflslim‘s tweets, that @theburningman WAS the official account… certainly seems that way.
  338. The Mission is already such a large and influential district no one blinks calling it “Mission Indie Mart” even though it’s in Potrero.
  339. Poopcake aside, in all seriousness, the thing that I truly adore about craft fairs is how many nerdy sexy self-reliant people show up.
  340. Two weeks ago, my girlfriend glazed a ceramic monkey. Today, I finally got to use “would you like to pet my monkey?” in conversation.
  341. “Bierocks for Barack,” empanadas for the cause. Say whatever you want–the man has a solidly marketable name.
  342. I’ve never been sure of the etiquette involved in offering to hold/restrain the children of strangers.
  343. The irony of swatting away real flies from your dog poop and fake fly cupcakes is not lost on me. Ah, craft fairs.
  344. Incidentally, @mikl_em, @sleepbotzz, and whole Wicker crew, apologies for my effusive (if deserved) superlatives throughout the evening.
  345. @mikl_em I love theater geeks. No one bats an eye when I show up in an 85 year-old’s pinstripe suit, and the party couldn’ta done it better.
  346. I has a Windsor knot for to see The Wicker Man @darkroomtheatre, plz to enjoy my playing dress-up, @rhiannononon
  347. Polishing up my password plugin, watching Star Trek TNG, and learning some lessons: sometimes, they’re *both* B-plots.
  348. Shut up, neighborhood political advocate. I don’t care who you want me to vote for supervisor. I’m voting @Bartlet this time.
  349. “My problem with the Scopes Monkey Trial is, was, and always will be this: there were never any monkeys ON TRIAL.” Please, @nonsequitur?
  350. @nonsequitur Would you mind if I took that little-used Twitter name off your hands?
  351. @sonomabuzz Fine with me. I attack the keyboard, then attack it again. Then I wake up and attack. Thing’s got more holes than swiss cheese.
  352. “Between you and me: BUFFY’S NOT GAY!!!” I gotta start a Twitter account of my girlfriend’s non sequiturs.
  353. Ugh. 22nd-century me drank the electro-metastasizing juice in my dream last night, and now I’m having multiple viewpoint withdrawls.
  354. Unfortunately, at Chicken John’s art show featuring his campaign paperwork, I still couldn’t find the 10¢ contribution discrepancy.
  355. * DHL man delivers package * Me: “This is not the computer warranty component I’m looking for.”
  356. Goodbye, beaten, ugly, broke-ass street chair. Outta my bedroom & back from whence you came. Hello, better-ass chair. You smell like lilacs.
  357. I find myself eating ramen again, and I wonder, “why would someone want to make *this* their staple?” Then I remember… North Korea.
  358. Just kidding… that was yesterday, updating my résumé. WordPress plugins are really kinda fun to make.
  359. Since starting to write a WordPress plugin today, 100 baby angels have died from all my cursing.
  360. If my roommates’ bed is a mashed potato (@rhiannononon) then my bed is a sprouted potato.
  361. @missionmission Come, mister Tally-ban, tally me bah-nah-nuh — election come and me want not vote (something @panavatar said a week ago).
  362. Did he just say “telegraph?” He did, didn’t he? #mccain #current
  363. They said the wounds would heal. They said I’d get over it. Three years later, I still hate CSUMB with a burning, fierce vengeance.
  364. @germinator Right over here, ice-free and full of loud chickens.
  365. You give up on my riddle? The secret lies in what all that “Winterhalter” nonsense was a few weeks ago: http://glot.homepie.org/to/201
  366. Home recording, demonstration, spectacular, “…and the [word intensifier]s,” Moog, olde tyme, fart & dinosaur. What do these have in common?
  367. @Ozreiuosn I know your hands hurt from typing but you can’t take the Vicodin and Percoset together. Things I learned watching The West Wing.
  368. Grudgingly, I admit that I love a woman who relentlessly calls me on things like misspelling “Tourette’s,” gee golly fartknocker.
  369. Thank god none of this actually matters. #vpdebate #current
  370. No, no, don’t take the bait, Biden! You can’t look smarter than her, or people will think your head is too pointy! #current #biden
  371. Grudgingly, I admit that I love a woman who has Midwest housewife turrets (gosh darn gee willikers hoy McCoy…) #current #vpdebate
  372. Presidential campaigns have a long tradition of mainstreaming flubs. “Normalcy” for “normality,” “subliminable,” and of course “noo-q-lurr.”
  373. What are some causes of climate change, candidates? Perhaps “the anthropocene,” our #current period of geologic history.
  374. “The Ultimate Bridge to Nowhere” BUUUURN! Aw, aw, aw, he said it!
  375. Am I the only one who hears “middle class” and translates it as “swing voters?” #current
  376. Watching the VP ‘bates through #current is the best political peanut gallery yet invented.
  377. Sometimes I think I keep tweeting just so I can go back later and figure out where it all went horrifically wrong. For my memoirs.
  378. Like the country song says, some days you just feel like a Sunday paper on a Thursday morning. Not me, not today, not that that song exists…
  379. “Just glazing my monkey, that’s all.” @Panavatar was born to tweet. What is WRONG with her? Doesn’t she know how adorably random she is?
  380. It’s over now. It’s done. Live. And I’m crazy for having done it. I don’t need praise. I need therapy. http://glot.homepie.org/
  381. @Ozreiuosn I would, but for one dead iPod. It said “very low battery” and hasn’t turned on since. Guess now I hafta shoot it & make glue.
  382. Let’s not pretend I don’t know any sexy geeky people who’d be interested in geeky sex on camera: http://is.gd/3mfy
  383. Star Trek forces me to ask whether aliens could evolve without the concept of “pleasure.” My sexy exobiologist verdict: palm, meet face.
  384. My left eye is doing that twitchy thing again. Why are the street lights to the east getting brighter all of a sudden?
  385. Was Leo Strauss right in believing that Western Liberalism only leads to Nihilism? I don’t really care.
  386. Good morning! Today is a good… oh. Today is gonna be one of those Hawaiian sorta timezone days, huh. Friggin’ Hawaii.
  387. There are 178 words for rain in the Ferengi language, but *none* for crispy. I know this because someone’s trying to cheer me up. It worked.
  388. Scratch that. Screw everyone who wants to go to CAS. The line stretches around the concourse just for a “designated access pass.”
  389. For those looking for car entry to Cal Academy of Sciences, the northwest passage is open. Stop and smell the Rose Garden on the way there.
  390. I’m glad I’ve finally reached a point in my life where my hair requires ZERO work to get that “science-y” look for free museum day.
  391. The tragedy of the commons dictate that #Debate08, #current, & Horseshit be the first 3 “hot election topics” on http://election.twitter.com
  392. We got our own drinking game. When someone says “economy!” I apply for a job—and take a drink! Then another! Then start drinking!
  393. @sleepbotzz While I admit ur gen’ral rule that both men standing aren’t such tools, u urself may serve to show’t, every twit needn’t blow’t.
  394. Guess what I found at the dump’s art show—a bookcase! Guys? Guys, where’d you go? Isn’t it neat about my bookcase? Wanna debate my bookcase?
  395. …unless you’re gonna be funny about it. Then be as mean as you want. Looks like non-sequiters using “Ahmadinejad” are a good bet. #debate08
  396. I want you to know that I read all your tweets. This debate things has been hard on me, so next time, if you have nothing nice to say, STFU.
  397. Lose my bank? I didn’t LOSE my bank, like “whoops, where’d my bank go?” THEY GOT BOUGHT.
  398. Pancakes for dinner & tea for dessert & a nice long write-sit & I feel good & happy & alive & I still don’t have a job & that sucks.
  399. Rotten eggs with a hint of burned peanut: this fartpartment continues to earn its name.
  400. What do I get for finally calling the landlord to fix a broken drain? If it wasn’t where the raccoon died, it’s certainly where it suffered.
  401. I think the stink from the fink was linked to pink ink but thankfully he blinked, rethinked, and she stayed out of the clink.
  402. For an hour, I was looking for someone who even mildly resembled her. Her freak flag (pink-colored today) flies too high for doppelgängers.
  403. Security at Cosco thought my woman stole Zigzags from the cigarette cage. 2 things: we don’t smoke; she’s a ceramicist. She can make pipes.
  404. Ok, angry and frustrated and broke and disillusioned and tired. Not actually sick (knock on wood).
  405. At least I tried to get out of the house. Boy, I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired. It’s not a good color on me (and I love colors).
  406. @sleepbotzz Like son, like father.
  407. 2:00 bedtime IS going to sleep early. I’ll play your game; now get off my back, diurnocentrics.
  408. Damn, L. Ron’s got some sloppy handwriting. I MEAN… UMM… I WAS JUST… Heil Hubbard!
  409. Note to self: don’t read BonigBoing then Wikileaks.org. Makes me paranoid. Especially since I have AT&T internet. Hi there, NSA!
  410. A little bike jaunt to return these (fully read) library books ought to lift those spirits, eh? Cause that’s the plan, so shut up.
  411. Recently completed, and recommended: Cory Doctorow’s “Overclocked,” a short story collection, and “Captain Raptor and the
  412. Do them comma dammit.
  413. The tabs are there to remind you what you’ve been trying to do lately. When there are too many for words, only icons staring back, do them.
  414. Drunk and cleaning. You know, in some countries they ingest mind-altering substances in order to do MORE work—I guess the Homeostasicrat
  415. Saw dinosaurs and trains today. She knows me pretty well.
  416. Girlfriend had a suprise day trip for me today, and it went “choo choo!”
  417. Arr the freeleech be nigh over soon, and… oh, that day ended two days ago. Don’t wanna change icons.
  418. How stringent are ye olde Society of Creative Anachronism? Must one be consistently anachronistic, or is “Jehoshaphat” now and again enough?
  419. Hoy hoy! There be folk still in this wide world who dial wrong numbers? Was just myself thinking we’d edited that out in post.
  420. I remember those days, long gone, when DDOS was something that only happened to sites people didn’t like. No more.
  421. Ahoy! Th’ torrents, they will flood, an’ th’ ship, it scrapes; there be bounty to be had. 11 albums and counting.
  422. For th’ rest o’ yous, “Talk Like a Pirate Day” comes but once a year. For fine folks of my caliber on What.cd it be a lifestyle.
  423. We have battered the fine ship What.cd beyond gentlemanly conduct, and she is taking on FAIL like a harlot in Freetown that’s nigh swabbed.
  424. We rise with the tides, @panavatar! Ye scurvy dog, how dare ye mumble “pirate day’s easier on the internet” like that be a sorta excuse!
  425. What.cd freeleech! See, I can get up before noon, I just need a good reason. Torrents ahoy!
  426. Mastering my recording of Jascha + Jascha’s band at Philz. With the way things are going, I’ll be a paid audio engineer in 7 months.
  427. “Change comes from within,” says the axiom. Spare change comes from the gubmint, it looks like. Trickle-down theory = THEY’RE PEEING ON YOU.
  428. Adamantly and nobly trying to ignore the banking industry shenanigans of late, I can’t help but notice that I’m still unemployed.
  429. @twitter You guys brought back paging, whole and complete! MWAH! I was wondering what I did a year ago…
  430. Today is the start of my third year in San Francisco. Wish me luck.
  431. Paying gig ahoy! For the next hour or so, I’ll be editing together bits of an Obama speech for a ringtone. Again, for money. Money money.
  432. Am I the only one who’s excited that soon, oh so soon, it will be blazer season?
  433. That ride quickly turned into a scavenging fest. Oh, who am I kidding—I left with a backpack. Warm summer afternoons…
  434. Bike riding time! (this family-friendly tweet brought to you by Orin’s raging fear of disapproval.)
  435. Guys! I made a tribble from my head!
  436. Haircut in the bedroom, feels like home to me.
  437. More shutting yap later (my mother lurks my Twitter (Mom, don’t comment on me commenting on you lurking my Twitter)).
  438. I need to learn to shut my big digital yap, I guess.
  439. Good juju, good juju, good juju! Cover letter sent. Oh, damn, forgot the resumé!
  440. @girlsgonemad Icon change! I caught ya this time. Worry not about the records; I have a bittorrent offering in the works. Distributed old.
  441. Did you know that the right channel is always quieter in records because the outside groove is the one that pushes the needle? Didn’t hafta.
  442. The goal is to get the vinyl to make the green bars go up high without going over, while staying near each other. Obsolete skill in ~5-10.
  443. I thought I might not be “detail-oriented” enough for Kink.com, then I realized I’ve spent the past 3 days fussing over treble variance.
  444. Awoken with ‘Inspector Gadget’ pounding full volume inside my head. So, it’s gonna be one of those days…
  445. Mission tip: Sunday is the best day for sidewalk finds, before the street cleaning Gestapo have their way with things.
  446. My neighborhood wants me to know that it’s like, hella nice outside. HELLA hella dude. Who says the streets can’t talk?
  447. @lukechastain Oddly enough, that sounds like a Simpsons joke.
  448. @girlsgonemad “Lynae, can you tell me what ‘EGL’ means in this context?” “Elegant Gothic Lolita. That’s what it’ll always mean for Caitlin.”
  449. @darkroomtheater So neat that you finally showed up! good thing I came prepared:
  450. I totally understand those Sweet Valley kids now. This babysitting can be pretty fun. Even if the kid stays up past midnight(!).
  451. I’m afraid the sudden pull or the, err… the “vacuum energy,” as it were, will knock off the record player’s power. Excuse found!
  452. “Hugo Winterhalter Goes Gypsy” Sha-ZAAM! They don’t make ’em like they used to. No, really… this thing is old.
  453. Cleaning day! That means I’m converting vinyl records to digital. Yes—I am easily distracted by neat projects.
  454. @rhiannononon It’s just a rough draft for eye candy. There’s more where that came from.
  455. It’s official: @rhiannononon‘s name has too many N’s in it. I should know, I hand-traced them: http://rhiannoncharisse.com
  456. There’s an opening at The Armory. Damn, that’s an appealing job. Damn, 2257 rules are frightening. Planning on what to tell my mother now…
  457. Apply to all jobs you think you are qualified for. Especially if you are qualified to do a stop-motion short about anthropomorphic fruit.
  458. What do you mean I haven’t been around lately? Spore finished downloading.
  459. Good job, CERN! Said the world (and the Pythons): “I’m not dead yet!”
  460. Contact seems such an appropriate movie to watch on a night like tonight. Large Hadron Collider: Sagan approved. Starring Matt McConaughey.
  461. In an instant we could find out on YouTube. But it’s better to try and recall the theme from Tailspin by singing it wrong… many, many times
  462. Wait, I went to Sacramento today? Something about this pride-suppressant I’m taking to help me find a job must be screwing with me.
  463. Somehow I lost a few hours. Vague memories of driving in a confusing place, and now my printer is different. A lot more books here too.
  464. Let’s be clear, fast food vendors, we all want a job that “makes us smile,” but few want to be contractually obligated to do so.
  465. Hate when I do that… accidentally applied to a job scam again. At least they write me back.
  466. I always have to get in at least one good joke at Bad Movie Night. Tonight, it was Julia Roberts starring in “Boys Don’t Cry.”
  467. @mikl_em Would you shut up already? I’m trying to watch a damn movie.
  468. The sun on my face, the wind in my hair… this roof thing could get to be a habit. I think Johnny Cash used to sing about not having these.
  469. @rhiannononon I think I can make an exception for you, especially considering how many PBR carbohydrate supplements I’ve been enjoying.
  470. @sonomabuzz Oh yeah, there’s birthdays in my family, too. Nice to have you around, by the way!
  471. Watching the stars come out, looking for jobs. I’m trying to convince myself this activity isn’t always unpleasant. It’s working.
  472. As the sun sets, the laptop boots. I ? non-standard rooftop activities.
  473. A good trip to the public library usually includes that precious moment when I whip out my hand-me-down WinXP laptop in a sea of new iBooks.
  474. Apparently, I’m too white to understand how unemployment works. So I’m told.
  475. I tempted fate and somebody else just got shot in the damn neighborhood. Yet another reason for my mother to worry. Damn heat.
  476. Just once I wish windbags at community centers would stop to think if, in fact, “young children will accidentally get shot in the crossfire”
  477. So what, the president of Hell’s Angels SF branch got killed a block away Tues. That’s not scary for ME; that’s scary for rival biker gangs.
  478. It’s so quaint how older people (like, say, my parents) think that if the neighborhood’s dangerous that somehow makes it less attractive.
  479. Earthquake!
  480. Is there a more clever joy than sopping wet socks on a hot day?
  481. Dude, the Mexican kid downstairs is a badass rubix cube solver. In other news, I retreived what I threw into our shared courtyard yesterday.
  482. Web design is a nice hobby, but the idea of living on it feels really absurd. What client could I sell this to? http://x.se/v6wr Oh… hi 4am
  483. It’s so fun when my brother is here. He’s the master of the one-man wave (a.k.a. falling backwards out of an office chair).
  484. Hey, isn’t that my brother standing outside my apartment? Where’s his car? Doesn’t he live 50 miles away?
  485. OH: “Psst… Orin, there’s an enormous dog peeing next to us!”
  486. Precita Park: the best SF park for dogs and for people to get hit in the head. And free wireless (bless you, kindly 2WIRE677).
  487. Tennis balls: 1. Strangers in the park who get hit with them, and it’s really funny: 0.
  488. @hotdogsladies I read that post. It was “Better” on Tumblr. http://x.se/5kau
  489. @laughingsquid We’ve got a situation over here, Squid. @Rhiannononon and I are simultaneously trying to give the other an intervention.
  490. @metaphorge Yeah, but try watching the *last* film screenwritten by Paddy Chayefsky, “Altered States.” Only watchable on drugs, though.
  491. @nomimaybe Dude! I had much the same result yesterday. I think we amateur internet repair experts are on to something.
  492. @panavatar Well, after the stench has faded, off we go to the Exploratorium for free day, then?
  493. Lose a hard drive… recover a hard drive! Download a hard drive—get your hosting account suspended. Typical (he said, in best C-3PO voice)
  494. @rhiannononon So, you’re enjoying the “Captain Raptor and the Space Pirates” book I found for you?
  495. Dammit. Whomever is shooting their gun, you can stop now… we’re trying to watch the first Ferengi episode over here.
  496. Wow, I had no idea that Windows still came with Telnet. Or that the telnet app was so shitty.
  497. Ahh! Motrher-ffoooouuuck ›—› you can’t just!!!!! ššžŸœ ¦ ¤¦Á¼Þݼ»¹¦ (8 stupid!) ROUTER you will plz DIE NOW¿?¿
  498. Pro: the hard disk recovery worked! Con: I have upwards of 15000 photos to download via FTP. Here they come now… they’re coming… little more
  499. @rhiannononon‘s brownies and @panavatar‘s cupcakes, btw? UTTERLY necessary for this fine morning—afternoon—whatever.
  500. Co-conspirator #2: The Postman. No, not the one with Costner.
  501. What a beautiful morning this is! What a beautiful day for a… shh. Well, off to meet co-conspirator #1.
  502. @Orinz Unrelated: @panavatar has a birthday tomorrow. Okay, that could be related.
  503. I won’t imply that the world itself is cynical, merely lots of people in it. People like the United States Postal Service.
  504. I don’t begrudge cynics. There’s a certain pleasure in having one’s expectations met. That’s why songs rhyme.
  505. Great. Now she’s listing me the contents of DrPepper.com. This can’t be good.
  506. Whoa! Last Action Hero, Bad Movie Night, has distorted my reality perception. For @panavatar it’s even worse—Arnie’s butt looks cute to her
  507. Crazy! There’s some sort of Desert Fest thing going on in Nevada, and now there’s, like, tons of parking!
  508. So, is there, like, something going on next week?
  509. The bullets outside sounded like firecrackers. The drunk yuppies walking through the crime scene were weirder than the crime.
  510. The night has become more interesting with a trip to the nicest-smelling community garden on Potrero Hill.
  511. In other news, my Saturday is passing slowly… in case you missed me napping and geotagging. By the way, I’m ready to be employed now.
  512. I’m signing up for Panoramio for the simple fact that most of those suckas can’t tell AT&T park from a high school. Misplaced? HELLZ YEAH.
  513. Oh lord, I needed that nap. That couch? I didn’t need that couch. Younz have to warn me next time I’m about to do that.
  514. Craigslist is a lot more fun when you’re emailing people in Free and not Rejection Central. Did I say “Rejection Central?” I meant Jobs.
  515. My poor fingers got so abused by that nasty, spiky, previously-electrified vagina today (usage note: ‘vagina’ funnier word than ‘vulva’).
  516. @girlsgonemad Come to Bad Movie Night sometime! You’re guaranteed at least 4 WTFs/hour, usually more like 15.
  517. Attempting (and failing) to help @tyrsalvia move her gigantic, unweildy, rusted metal vulva. This is what teenage dreams are not made of.
  518. No one needs to point out things which make me a hipster. I’m young, white, and live in The Mission. That’s enough.
  519. The hardest part of the neighbors carrying a couch down the stairs is listening to them talk about how awesome Dave Matthews is.
  520. @rhiannononon Owned a ferret? Me? Never. But now? It’s kin to “Absolutely No Machete Juggling”: http://www.x.se/ynty
  521. Sometimes I get real angry thinking about what’s still illegal. Like owning ferrets. Big Lebowski: “Nice marmot,” said The Dude, knowingly.
  522. The hardest part of moving out that old futon is accepting that you *will* fall down the stairs once or twice.
  523. There’s something really comforting about the sound a q-tip box makes when you shake it. Especially after a bad day.
  524. My own simulation confirms that if humanity continues a destructive path robots WILL take over one day. And by “simulation” I mean SimEarth.
  525. dspillwed bwewer on thwe kweyboards agvain…
  526. Looking at public FCC docs to discern placement of vital mouse innards is a great way to spend an afternoon… in heck.
  527. Find glasses… they’re… oof, on the floor now. Why is my scroll wheel borked? And my FTP didn’t work. This sucks. Come back, @germinator!
  528. @tyrsalvia That “make the kitchen smell like a bakery” tip has wonders for us here in our ant-partment.
  529. @Ozreiuosn This series of non sequiturs is quite unusual for you. I’m concerned.
  530. Sad… @germinator is eating his last Mission burrito and playing “It’s Raining Men” one final time. We’ll miss you Frenchie.
  531. The primary lesson I’m taking in here is that filmmaking is way too expensive for it’s own good. #diydays
  532. No minidiscs in the Sony Store?! Guys, if you aren’t gonna sell em who will? You can’t just rely on Japan to hold out forever! #lost #format
  533. Me? Dressed at 10:30? This DIYDays thing is free, but with registration. That’s how they suck you in.
  534. The last dinner with @germinator is officially over. It’s always sad when friends leave the country, even if they ARE excellent GChatters.
  535. Mission not accomplished. Nude beach to gray for nudity; everyone left. I brought my rainbow swim trunks for nuthin’.
  536. Hm. This is unexpected. I haven’t the slightest idea what I should be wearing to a nude beach.
  537. Even though Jascha Ephraim wrote me about that video I put on teh interwebs, I’m not gonna fanboy. I’ve learned my lesson… JASCHA EPHRAIM!
  538. @lukechastain Well, no. There’s a nice Newcastle Brown in my hand though. What am I, French?
  539. What’s that? You say you wanna do something on a Friday night, girlfriend? Why am I not surprised that includes mandatory ice cream…
  540. Geosetter: when you don’t want to look like a dick by tagging your photo of Alcatraz on the Ross Ice Shelf.
  541. We here at Orin’s Flickr stream pride ourselves on having highly accurate geo-locating, thanks to Geosetter! http://geosetter.de/en/
  542. Great. I just spent the last ten minutes of my life hoisting a gadget 9 feet in the air and waiting patiently. Thanks, @photojojo.
  543. Lots of satisfaction can be had carefully curating your Flickr stream, but it’s just one of those dreams. You always have to keep running.
  544. Dear @Rhiannononon, it’s ok to overuse the capslock key. It’s for YELLING on the INTERNET. Sometimes you need to yell. ?, Twitter.
  545. @germinator Depends… what are those rumors?
  546. Ugh. Trying to get on a normal schedule. What’s wrong with you normies? You like this?
  547. @panavatar I think this is why they hate us. And by us I mean “musicals.”
  548. The power of web 2.0 on media distribution, in a nutshell: I swung on a big swing today! Film at 11.
  549. …the things one realizes when making toothbrushing faces in the mirror.
  550. The muscles of my left eye are stronger than my right, resulting from the fact that when I was ten I thought a twitch would be funny.
  551. @girlsgonemad He says I should be my *own* boss, that way I could sleep on my boss’ couch every night.
  552. My poor friend @germinator. He thinks last night’s drinking adventure where he ended up sleeping on his boss’ couch isn’t worth Twittering!
  553. @Ozreiuosn I know a seee-cret!
  554. My Albany Bulb pictures have been with me too long. I’m sending them away. Look at them, don’t look at them, here they are: http://x.se/pncv
  555. Every time I eat chicken pot pie, it makes me nostalgic for college. Or maybe that’s just Starvation’s way of saying “fine, not today, lad…”
  556. Z.com, Nissan Z: “Last letter. First name in performance.” Once again, the ones with the most money have the least idea how to use it.
  557. Single-letter domains impress me, but then again so the extra vowels not native to English. http://x.se
  558. @panavatar: girls with bangs? guilty!
  559. I do enjoy going over the full list of Stuff White People Like and seeing how white I am compared to others. http://x.se/8tk3
  560. @panavatar is my new bicycle! Or at least, she will be once I finish teaching her how to ride one.
  561. These sure are some pretty spiderwebs. Side note: the excess of flies in our back room has been mitigated.
  562. News to me: Elephantitis is sexy, especially o\n bike rides.
  563. @rhiannononon Seeing how this is such a beautiful day, I’m not sure I could refuse. If can still laugh at anything post-Craigslist, that is.
  564. @rhiannononon Google’s been fritzy today… this morning I got an ad for a bulk emailing service. And yes, I did notify the authorites.
  565. You can never go home again. Especially if you go there via Google Earth, and they’ve ripped out all the date palms.
  566. In the dream, I wake up and there’s no tweets to read. 68 is not none. #dream
  567. In my universe, it makes perfect sense that I should have the theme from Goldfinger stuck in my head after watching Waterworld.
  568. Whenever switching from contacts to glasses, things tend to get a foot or so further away. I’m practically blind. No, really.
  569. Our home network is now open and free, or unsecured and vulnerable, depending on whom you ask. I say @rhiannononon is able to watch TV now.
  570. I’m imagining a far-reaching “craft network” which, at a moments notice, will be able to drop candle-making supplies anywhere there’s need.
  571. Guy at Scrap asked me if I’d rather be “off the grid” when making a donation. Two questions: why? and did I just ruin their system?
  572. Return to Oz was whimsical and I’m sad I didn’t see it as a youth. Beetlejuice has aged well. Ditched out from Feebles tho—still frightened
  573. Hello, organ grinder man! You look nice today.
  574. @rhiannononon Me and @panavatar wanna go! Especially for Return to Oz, says she. Feebles, though… that’s horrifying.
  575. @Ozreiuosn You know what you said about living on the wrong side of the bay, l’il miss drives-to-gigs? I call shenanigans (and good luck!).
  576. @girlsgonemad I figure he figures they should pay to ride just like everybody else. Doing dishes = cab fare.
  577. I left photos & video of the Jascha Ephraim performance to upload overnight, and it worked!? That never works! http://vimeo.com/1490396
  578. @lukechastain Odd thing, that: wherever you go, there you aren’t.
  579. Every event in San Francisco should be two blocks from my home. Side note: Orinz really appreciates Philz.
  580. Jascha Ephraim show! It’s been so long since I used my binaural microphones I’d almost forgot how they work. http://is.gd/1j9v
  581. My two gay things: rainbows, interior decorating, short shorts, booty dancing, Twittering from the bathtub… uh oh.
  582. @rhiannononon is “guilty pleasure” the female equivalent of my theoretical “two gay things” (or 3, 4, 5…) allowed in the male paradigm?
  583. Ha! Up before noon! …in Hawaii.
  584. Big Ol’ happy birthdays to @satiredun, @sfslim‘s dad, and @AinsleyofAttack (I think). Tim Berners-Lee debuted WWW today, 17 years ago.
  585. is about to enjoy some Antarctic photography as it’s never been enjoyed before… with Werner Herzog: Encounters At The toolongtotweet.
  586. If someone whom you wrote a blog about… err, GLOT about emails you, and you write back, and it’s 4 months later, do you still have a shot?
  587. @Ozreiuosn Breaking News: local Orin plans to post comment on the Internet
  588. Ha! Up before noon!
  589. My favorite part about my girlfriend’s velcro skirt is… wait, why am I sitting here typing?
  590. Sometimes the desire to escape Craigslist job postings is so powerful I involuntarily twitch. Not that there’s a voluntary twitch, I guess.
  591. As of right now, I have attained the status of a What.cd POWER USER. Orin WINS the INTERNET!
  592. “I like how you use this website just to advertise what you’re doing at the moment,” said cousin. See, you don’t need to *explain* Twitter.
  593. Don’t tell the dozens of shady characters in my neighborhood that I’m watching t.A.t.U. videos. I… really can’t explain the appeal.
  594. You really wanna tell aliens what it means to be human? Just annotate the movie “Baraka” with Wikipedia links already. Less banal sci-fi!
  595. In other countries they let their 20 year-olds drink. I’m really glad someone got some use out of my old ID; looking at you QUEBEC.
  596. @sfslim is a wordnerd, and proud of it.
  597. Bike rides to the library to return world music usually include trips to the burrito store. And so we live, and so we have lived…
  598. @TelstarLogistic Now, would that be 24th and Folsom, 3 blocks from my house, or 24th and Fulton, clear across town?
  599. Illegal art has always been my favorite kind 😀
  600. The paper is cut, the ball rattles, and I have on my worst clothes. A stencil is about to be born.
  601. On a side note: I might be allergic to CostCo.
  602. Listen female, me sneezing only deserves a casual “bless you,” not this “you just sneezed! ARE YOU OK!??!1!” stuff.
  603. Miracle Fruit tablets!? You always know just what I want, @panavatar! (the perfect excuse to make you drink beer)
  604. My bilocating goat named Dimetrodon taught me the zen of humanity by hanging out with every family in the village at once. #dream
  605. Dear media elites who keep referring to Obama as elite: this is his birthday cake http://is.gd/1dHG Now shut up.
  606. Ooh! Neato stencil idea inspired by hobos! Eww… not that.
  607. The front stoop is clean, if anyone cares. @panavatar, for the record, the stoop is NOT “stoops,” kay?
  608. Imagine all the lovely pictures people are taking right this instant! Here I am cataloging mine.
  609. Sure! The day became beautiful! But the enabling power of Geosetter http://is.gd/TBY means I’m more drawn to the computer. Damn me.
  610. @panavatar @girlsgonemad If I could, I’d like to answer that with this tweet: http://tinyurl.com/5vpo32
  611. It’s quarter to noon: time for brunch! My bike still doesn’t have handle grips so here’s hoping I can remove my hands from the bar later.
  612. Wow, McLaren Park is a campground if all the rangers went on strike for two years.
  613. Through with cleaning. You know what that means… the world is right again.
  614. You know, it actually is quite bizarre that I am compelled to clean when I’m mad at someone Thanks, upbringing.
  615. Sunset on my rooftop, and a cup of tea while watching the neighborhood below. Truly, who must be *taught* contemplation?
  616. @germinator Today is one of those days where I have to run on chilled Junior Mints and determination. I’m looking at you, ants.
  617. Me: “Ohmygod, goats can eat lit cigarettes!” Girlfriend: “dot com.”
  618. @Orinz I feel so violated. Or offended. Maybe this is perplexed. Have I been hoodwinked? Mild, reserved backlash becomes me.
  619. What the hell is this “MobileMe Preferences” doing in my Control Panel? Trying to drop some hints, Apple?
  620. @rhiannononon Still more pizza, though! Ahmunna miss it when its gone.
  621. I just marked @panavatar as ‘family’ on Flickr. Cue chorus of “awww.”
  622. @girlsgonemad We’re right here, silly!
  623. @rhiannononon Finally, I can prove I’ve been in a nightclub. Can I now composite the images to look like I know how to pose in a nightclub?
  624. @Ozreiuosn Noooooooooooooooooohwell. December can’t be that far away (he hinted strongly).
  625. @Ozreiuosn I have! I just figured you’re behind on your LaughingSquid reading and haven’t discovered Hahlo. *I* use Hahlo!
  626. @girlsgonemad It makes sour things sweet! Lemons into lemonade! I can think of nothing more dangerous to American productivity.
  627. @Orinz Or yeah, maybe it’s just the big sugar industry charitably giving America *one more forbidden pleasure*. The more the merrier.
  628. Miracle Fruit’s sweetener is illegal in the States. Under the fruity influence, the urge to kill just to taste someone’s juices is… strong
  629. @Ozreiuosn Thanks be ta Jesus Gates! I was a leel bit worried we’d lost another one… another person who could get one before me birthday.
  630. @Ozreiuosn I hatechoo. So. Much. We were in this *together!*
  631. You know, overall, I feel that everyone on Twitter had a pretty good day yesterday. Keep up the good work folks.
  632. I’m 0.35 GB away from honorary power-usership on my favoritest music tracker, What.CD. I can practically taste it. Nerd… cred… nerd… cred…
  633. Myth: Dreams of the World — themed musical poetry album previously lost to obscurity, now in .torrent. Only took ½ an hour http://is.gd/19Qj
  634. I’ve used Google my whole life. My world just got blown by http://cuil.com …BANG! Power corrupts algorithms, too (so it would seem).
  635. @sfslim http://twitpic.com/5z4b – By chance did you pick it up? Or, perhaps, is it just one of those things that needs to go back to nature?
  636. Thomas Hawk, wherever you are, I salute you. Lightroom 2 is indeed fairly dern awesome http://tinyurl.com/69m3d5
  637. @lukechastain You have bailed on ale fail pale sale!
  638. The failing fail has failed to fail at FAIL. In other news, I have impressive thumbs.
  639. @sleepbotzz get some Failwhale pale … Oh, just get some beer.
  640. On borrowed tire pressure and with no handle grips, I shall attempt to make the Fail Whale Pale Ale party. This is gonna work or it’s gonna…
  641. Oh, dood… is this what spiderwebs congeal to? Gummy-tack? And on the handles, no less. There must be some harsh chemical solvent for this.
  642. Pfft! High gas prices aren’t enough to make me stop driving. We’re in ‘Merica, dammit. But having good parking? Hello, bicycle! Except…
  643. Someone tell the group of drunk mariachi bands in my backyard that I am NOT going to clean up any more puke this week. Friggin’ Mission.
  644. See what I did there? Instead of saying “I just moved the car cause of street clean” I made a broader observation. See how it works Homepie?
  645. When you live in the city and drive a car, it means you plan your life around street cleaning days. Be at peace with this. Ommmm…
  646. I am recent witness to a ride-by twittering while biking incident. “That’s not 140!” he yammered, the whole time spitting in Death’s eye.
  647. “Stupid shoes are stupid!” A more permeating syllogism was hardly ever spoke, dear LOLgirlfriend. Now: FoodsCo, ho!
  648. Speaking of, remind me to use that great analogy about representation of homosexual mexican punk rockers in the orange county zine scene.
  649. Girlfriend says that the only Russian vegan comedy club in the city is “closed for renovations.” It is a sad day for excessive adjectives.
  650. @girlsgonemad I has some kipper snacks asada!
  651. From now on “kipper snacks” will be my personal codeword for “meal of burrito.” Ask me how my day’s going. I dare you.
  652. Should I worry that so many power poles in my neighborhood are loudly crackling? And people thought it was silly to buy a wireless keyboard…
  653. There was also a Blackula/zombie/skeleton and the magic word “Cinzanum.” I need to keep a pen near bedside; this doesn’t belong on Twitter.
  654. I’m dreaming of The Venture Brothers parachuting into a Nebraska tornado and finding The One Ring and… guy outside, plz stop puking so loud!
  655. @sleepbotzz Violence? I wish. It’s not so much “butch” as “chromatically sensitive” to own such a knife. So my douche subroutine informs me.
  656. Drinking is fun! Stay in school, kids. That way you can enjoy “The Breakfast Club” someday. That concludes our summarizing tweet.
  657. Anyone else ever connected headphones to the front port, just to hear the odd sounds computers make when they think we’re not listening? No?
  658. I don’t have art syndrome yet. Next time I’ll eat some papyrus with the elixir of the Gods on it, the kind found on Haight. Next time.
  659. You know that syndrome people get when they are exposed to a huge amount of fine art, and become overwhelmed with their own insignificance?
  660. Preemptively entering “Rosicrucian’ into T9, cause cell phone designers are racist.
  661. Get to go to the Rosicrucian museum tomorrow. Yay! We leave at 9:00 am. Oh. Morpheus, you fickle traitor.
  662. @rhiannononon Well, your method does have its advantages. Like the fact that you have uploads from yesterday, while mine are from WEEKS ago.
  663. Take, transfer, import, pick, order, prune, tweak, title+tag, upload. That is the order of processing Flickrpix for public consumption.
  664. Of course, girlfriend is eager to inform me that I yelled “so I hear you are looking for squid!! Where is your squid?!”
  665. Writing last night’s dreams leads me to the broader realization that I can remember things I’ve read better than things I’ve actually done.
  666. Those huge boxes of art supplies from @tyrsalvia I picked up earlier? Totally sharing them with folks like @rhiannononon and whomever else.
  667. Ahh! Accidental blockade of ice cream carts! Bless this neighborhood.
  668. Some people really hate this town. Glad I have them around so I can finally attain my dream of living outside the U.S. http://is.gd/138X
  669. @Orinz Oh yeah, I hung out with my Dad too early in the day. He does have that effect sometimes.
  670. I’m sometimes disconcerted by normality. I can see normal, hear normal, but today is a day unlike any other; it is unique. What gives?
  671. Hiya Twitter. G’morning. Nobody but you knows that I stay up this late fixing computers. They don’t need to. Our little secret.
  672. Dammit, song named “Djurjevdan,” get out of my head! Various ethnic groups disagree on your spelling and therefore I can’t find you online.
  673. hffjgfhbevdjd!!!!!!1! (sent from my (roommate’s) iPod).
  674. Man, our kids aren’t gonna believe half the stuff we chose to blog about.
  675. The irony of failwhales increasing as the *AIL meme works its course is not beyond me… nor our new über-memetic overlords, whom I welcome
  676. Hmm… “[The whole show] is about the beauty of failure. It’s about that failure happens to all of us…” FAIL EPIC. That’s all I got, folks
  677. Lately, I’ve been watching a great deal of Venture Brothers. Even resorted to reading the Wikipedia. Good world-building. http://is.gd/11XI
  678. Bizarre… anyone ever tried to play one of those CD-Rs made to look like vinyl records on a real turntable? It sounds like _coded messages_
  679. What the… that sounds like… someone nearby is watching Star Wars WITHOUT ME! (gee but I do enjoy being unemployed sometimes.)
  680. Through clever usage of clothespin, have avoided usage of Dremel—which, despite my web 2.0 sensibilities, apparently isn’t spelled “Dreml.”
  681. @rhiannononon Now that we’re Flickr buddies, I guess I can share this with you and @germinator: http://is.gd/10HS
  682. @tyrsalvia Maybe I will perhaps come tomorrow then, methinks. Today might be not so good for you. Hope you found a cave.
  683. Yesterday I cracked a fishtank. Today I’m boiling rocks and shells. Later, perhaps carve a pirate ship. These days are precious.
  684. @Orinz (he Twitters casually, as if he had not already written a lengthy analysis of the drawbacks of the iThing.)
  685. @rhiannononon @germinator There’s too many iThings in my house! Hey, my birthday is in only 145 days guys, HINT HINT.
  686. Also, if you take your s/o’s cousins to meet your family for your Dad’s birthday, and they meet YOUR cousins… is that married?
  687. If you’re at the point in a relationship that you’re annoyed with your s/o’s aunt because she’s stealing your s/o’s cousins…call it married
  688. “There aren’t any screw mounts.” What do you mean, it doesn’t have screw mounts? Does it use sticky tape? Oh, I see. Sticky tape.
  689. Special cake and special people make for a very special family birthday. Now for some very special motherboard installation.
  690. @rhiannononon I second the observation of @girlsgonemad that your tweets are accounted for. Not that I can read them, being in Santa Rosa.
  691. @Ozreiuosn you tried to spell “hoe” so carefully so no one could make a joke at it, but too bad… that hoe done scraped your ass clean.
  692. What?! 1:30 pm, how did you get here? And on my Dad’s birthday no less. Oh well… spend $140 on new computer presents and I’m allowed.
  693. Mmm… the wild blackberries growing on the vein of used office chairs are much tastier than the ones growing on the vein of styrofoam.
  694. Time for the annual trip to the Albany Bulb. @panavatar says she saw a squirrel under a massive rusted pylon. Family fun!
  695. Ahh, no! There’s an iPhone in my house and it’s not mine! But @germinator, why is yours made by “PineApple?”
  696. This has gone too far. Now, she’s cheating at minesweeper.
  697. Sutro Baths had more sand in it than I remember. Current mission: take teenage girls to creepy pet cemetery.
  698. Why, yes, I did donate to the XKCD candidate: http://is.gd/UPJ
  699. Singing La Cucaracha in beeps is ladyfriend’s friendly way of saying “time for bed.” beebeebee beeep BEEP, beebeebee beeep BEEP…
  700. I’ve convinced 3 teenage girls to come home with me. I could think of a less pervy way to say “@panavatar‘s cousins are in town,” but why?
  701. If I’d known that playing honky-tonk to two year-olds would inspire them to take up playing accordion, I’d have done it a lot sooner.
  702. Note to self: MUST stop making genocide jokes to strangers (but her doll shoe collection DID look like the itsy-bitsy killing fields).
  703. Later, perhaps he’ll call his favorite local pirate radio station and see who is trying to talk to him through all that gypsy music.
  704. Dressed in his favorite binary code-themed socks and fog-resistant peacoat, he trudges drearily out the door to avoid the parking ticket.
  705. Phyllo dough, blackberries, the zest of two lemons, and… the liver of an orphan? What kinda dessert you making here, girlfriend?
  706. Know what boils my kettle? Everywhere I go, you can filter out NSFW images, but can’t filter *non-NSFW* images. Buncha sexists.
  707. Zip-a-dee… Man, we had such awesome made-up words before psychedelics came along. Not everything means something. Hoop-see-do-dee-dawdle!
  708. @satiredun Happy Butt Tuesday!
  709. Just finished sorting through 6 keyboards worth of individual keys, in neat little labeled baggies. Sometimes I despise my hobbies.
  710. A dude who usedta own megaspammer site that now has Zebest.com commented on my post about same. Now we can uselessly hate that guy TOGETHER.
  711. I can’t believe all the Twitwits are writing about hobo vagina just to show up in “trending topics”. Hobo vagina, hobo vagina. Kinda catchy.
  712. “Tetris game is totes stoops.” Hey, who taught you to talk like that in my house?!
  713. @twitterfox Twitterfox functional again, emphasis on fun. The whole “not adding accounts” was really a problem in singons3.txt. Duly noted.
  714. Difference between air conditioner and hair conditioner: one cools your body, the other bodies your cool. I’m getting to be a real Twit-wit.
  715. @panavatar Hey, this thing looks fun, we should go to it tonight… what do you think? http://www.polyspeeddating….
  716. The floor of my bedroom is a primordial soup of computer cables, power cords, gadgets, parts, and blinking lights. I’m on Skynet’s shitlist.
  717. What a lovely full day of blissful unemployment.
  718. is currently picking wild blackberries at Fort Mason, and wondering why there are so many lost shoes on public parkland.
  719. *coughHACKchoke* Her: “You ok?” Me: Yah. It stopped as soon as you asked. Her: “Well, I would’ve asked sooner but I didn’t wanna interrupt.”
  720. Her: “Just because you keep calling me ‘wife’ doesn’t mean we’re married.” Me: Have you checked the law books lately? Her: “Yeah.” Me: Damn.
  721. @TwitterFox Hmm… still experiencing my own private bucket of fail. Typing up a bug report now.
  722. @sleepbotzz Not so! I seen her in t’other room not 10 minutes ago watchin’ some such film noir After-school Special. S’truth. Blame the API.
  723. @girlsgonemad We shall help right this great injustice! We’ll call that iPhone user… err, AT&T customer, till they DEMAND it be given back
  724. Tonight on shadow puppet theater: kitty ping-pong champion.
  725. Craft fairs? Total cruising ground for spiffed-out, good-lookin’ people who do interesting things. Must note this in flirting logbook.
  726. @rhiannononon One of the funnest things about having a foreign friend: explaining obscure and obscene sexual terms. Next: Arabian Goggles.
  727. These crafty business materials are coming along nicely. I sure hope there’s lots of people at the Renegade Craft Fair to take some.. *hint*
  728. Working for @panavatar now. Hope I don’t get fired from my house for Twittering this. Boy, that’d be awful wouldn’t it? #bitter #stillbitter
  729. The iPhone, futurism, alienation, utopia, the new Transparency, public transit: “Curse of the Unseeing i.” http://glot.homepie.org/to/168
  730. I’m gonna go talk to a drunk albino about trains. This’ll be awesome.
  731. Me: “Thinking about installing Vista. Any advice?” L’il brother: “Don’t do it, Bob! You’ve got so much to live for!”
  732. @sleepbotzz don’t feel bad. There’ll be plenty of time to fill in those extra tweets when you write your memoirs. Memoirs—a.k.a. retirement
  733. @tyrsalvia I long for the day when Twitterers will rule the world. Our day will come, friends. Only a matter of time… *cough* @BarackObama
  734. I really kinda wish it’d been Twitter. At least then I’d have a better story. 140 characters :: 6 days :: 0 respect for company bandwidth.
  735. Survey: how many days should one reasonably allow after starting a job to stop looking at the last guy’s vacation photos? #bitter #sarcastic
  736. No joke: I’ve been fired for changing desktop wallpaper. It’s personal computer use (apparently). Been fired for stupider things, I guess.
  737. @Ozreiuosn One of us is still sort of sleep/dreaming. The other one is… a joke I can’t make. And *there’s* my bus pass.
  738. Identity grid 5 to spatialis coordidatus 7788-stroke-157. Wake up. Stop dreaming now. This is real. Coordidatus locked. Where’s my bus pass?
  739. @sfslim Totally with you on that one. I’ve spread “Balls!” to Quebec, and have gone so far as to claim Creative Commons for it.
  740. Twitter Seperation Anxiety building. Breakfast Seperation Anxiety somehow less urgent. Much more zen about breakfast than Twitter.
  741. Me: “Are people gonna think we’re Mormon if we have lotsa kids?” Her: “I don’t even WEAR underwear, much less wear MAGIC underwear.”
  742. @panavatar, hey, what are we going to do tonight? “The same thing we do every night, boyfriend… play Tetris and analyze Doctor Who!”
  743. Looking to get some opinions on tiny-short-itsy-teeny domain names. http://glot.homepie.org/to/173 password: little.
  744. Sigh. There’s a hard drive in my freezer. For those who understand what that means, I accept your condolences in advance.
  745. “Next year, on the Jerusalem!” Orin said, having meant to replace “Jerusalem” with “playa” so that it would have, in fact, made sense.
  746. On the Treasure Island offramp, watching fireworks through clouds.
  747. Off to Dolores… I guess.
  748. Pretty disappointed that Juplaya wasn’t possible. Been apologized to too much today.
  749. Although, seriously, if anybody wants to go, wants to share gas ‘sponsibilites, and wants to chat for 6 hours, I have a pickup and a plan.
  750. The choice has been made, the die have settled, and I still have never had a Bad Day (or good) at Black Rock. 4th of Juplaya next year.
  751. “TK-421 & Greedo Are Dead”: an absurdist, existentialist tragicomedy by Orin Zebest, thought up while watching Star Wars one night.
  752. I was so ready to make him do the wallet phone thing. Look out dude; you’re famous.
  753. I really really _wanted_ to see @hotdogsladies at St. Francis Fountain. Nope. Just some dude who worked from a sketch of his head.
  754. @ozreiuosn I’ll teach your momma to suck eggs! And complain about how hard to txt your name is!
  755. @metaphorge @tyrsalvia @satiredun @sfslim @rhiannononon @germinator @panavatar @ozreiuosn @girlsgonemad – I hereby initiate web drama!
  756. 1747 words on why a good domain name (like OR.IN) is impossible. Rather amusing, if I toot this horn I’ve got http://glot.homepie.org/to/169
  757. @Orinz What? Twitter, that was sent three hours ago. Bad Twitter! No more money from… wait, how is this getting paid for anyways?
  758. Note to self: don’t start complaining about Alameda cops like it’s somthin new. How faux pas that would be.
  759. Oh my lord! Canada day is almost over! Someone fetch me the bottle of maple syrup, so I may chug of it.
  760. Damn! The problem with being a good temp is that they keep hiring you for more, even if you’re perfectly happy being unemployed.
  761. This morning @panavatar smells like sandalwood and beans. That’s what happens when you meddle with perfumes, kids.
  762. What fantastic bullsiht there is that fills all the nooks and crannies of our lives. Mostly the crannies.
  763. Cleaning day!
  764. Sometimes I just like to be the day’s earliest poster for the fickle fortunate few who follow me. It’s fun!
  765. Oh, by the way, I’m stll awake brainstorming 2-letter domains for Grenada’s .gd—only other decent-priced ccTLDs are .tc and .vg, which—yeah
  766. Man, @germinator installed new firmware on our router yesterday and it is the shazziznit… that is not a word I use lighty, either.
  767. It’s 11:11.
  768. My dad’s still using a computer from 2000. I’ve discovered it doesn’t even have a CPU fan. Hey! I can use my horrified nerd face!
  769. Much as I find their hand-knit granny panties, shall we say, “quaint.”
  770. I don’t mind the impression I make as the unwitting boyfriend who gets dragged to things like “Craftaluma.” Others find it quaint.
  771. I appreciate the calls for concern about my unusual sneezing, but is the phrase “shrapnel range” really necessary?
  772. One whole day lost on account of 1)hard drive failure 2)monitor output failure 3)failure to fix failures. Nerds don’t need bullies anymore.
  773. It occurs to me that Allen Ginsberg is the only person EVER to be pleased at the invention of the text captcha: Thor mining embalms apples.
  774. Road trips are a nice way to stop being concerned with things like this: http://whoisi.com/p/1082 (whoa! new aggregate aggregator!)
  775. It’s easy to tell when I have cash. I do… for the moment. Job did a good job. Now, I just need to figure out how to road trip on $1000.
  776. Sometimes I get things just to give them tags on Flickr. Tags like “funnyhat.”
  777. Keith and the Girl meetup in SF tonight? Why, I was editing it’s Wikipedia only yesterday. For those unfamiliar: it’s a podcast, I’m a dork.
  778. Work ovah! Dunn! Tru! Now I can go home and work on that laptop I found on the street yesterday. Oh, I didn’t tell you? Yeah.
  779. Wait-so all I needed to do to help the Presidential Memorial Commission was get a stupid badge? Wow! (stop pretending you didn’t know, Orin)
  780. Ergo ego ecto: “therefore I am out.” Not to be confused with Ergo ego Eggo: “therefore I am waffles.” Man, I wish I’d had those waffles.
  781. Know that strange jealousy that comes unbidden when someone gets something you didn’t even want? Co-temp was hired full-time. Ergo ego ecto.
  782. @eriney Just added an FTM and an MTF to my LJ friends. #oneupmanship
  783. Six gummi bears dropped into a cup of water and left for two days results in an exquisite 3-D exploding still-life. Tastes like candy corn.
  784. Me no can have waffles this morning cause me know leaving gas oven on is BAD. Toaster = bomb fuse.
  785. The irony of fervently rubbing “No Rub” contact solution into my eye after a tragic pice de gallo accident is not beyond me.
  786. “Baby doll, sweetness, what version of Apache are you running?” — “Duh… errr… you… whut?”
  787. @germinator @rhiannononon This is just getting weird.
  788. @rhiannononon And yet somehow, we’re still all IM’ing and Twittering each other constantly. Welcome to the future!
  789. This job has wound down so much that now I’ll be on-call temping. And no, I don’t know how that works either.
  790. Hey, parents: need any more reasons not to give your kids a hyphen? “To enter your last name, please use letters and numbers only.”
  791. The only good reason to geotag photos is to relive the trip you took. It only becomes a problem if you went 4 months instead of 2 weeks.
  792. Good morning, World! How are you this beautiful morn… eeuoh. 5:30.
  793. @tyrsalvia What fine timing that was! The stars align… or just the nerds.
  794. How do I know this? First party I’ve ever been to 2 years in a row, I’m leaving for now. Hail Eris! (it’s a Discordian party.)
  795. This time last year I had a friend visit me from 500 miles away. Haven’t seen that friend since last year.
  796. Oh, the long wasted days of summer, spent designing websites for friends and loved ones.
  797. Oh, man… tomorrow, choice of Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence at Raging Waters or Discordian Convention party. Life too awesome to choose!
  798. Temp working means some days they have nothing for you to do, so you sit around and consider convincing famous biologists to join Twitter.
  799. What on earth is “doppelganger” doing out of the dictionary? You get back in there…
  800. Great… morning email from Richard Dawkins’ cybertoad doppelgänger, RichardDawkins.com. No—you can’t have @RichardDawkins, toad.
  801. O, string quartet that plays classic electronica, I love your Philip Glass-ish full album here: http://is.gd/BFk. Now please—let me buy you
  802. Whoa, a female webcock! (@PuppyL0ve) I didn’t know they made those. Now I just need a feminine term less offensive than what I’m considering
  803. Really glad @panavatar made me read this comic. Feel silly that I made her watch The Matrix in exchange. King Mob> Keanu Reeves.
  804. “Corpse goddess stinking of death and lust/the thunderbolt strikes the bell/firesnake ripping through the spinal channels AaaAAaa!”
  805. Whoa: “aggrade cyclometric septempartite protohymenopterous palpiferous hydronephelite.” When did spam become exposition for The Invisibles?
  806. For those having trouble like myself, here’s a direct link to the Firefox .exe http://is.gd/z6r and .dmg http://is.gd/zva
  807. Out of curiosity, anyone hear about Fake Dawkins from me and/or read it in the Glot? http://glot.homepie.org/to/170
  808. @sfslim But what might we do if they’re in an entrenched system, like the DNS? Do we smash the machine?
  809. Ah! The sea, she is rolling with the belchings of Failwhales! What’s next, Flickr needs a blubber massage?
  810. You wanna know how down spreadfirefox.com is? It breaks downforeveryoneorjustme.com. I’m totally serious: http://is.gd/zve
  811. “Currently, there is no world record for software downloads; Mozilla is trying to create one.” You think they’re gonna win?
  812. Sorted myself out over this @Richard_Dawkins debacle. Too strong a word… the Dawkins disappoint. Read here: http://glot.homepie.org/to/170
  813. @Panavatar just discovered a picture of herself on a site she was gonna advertise on, taken by moi. I did it! I won at Flickr! Can stop now!
  814. @Richard_Dawkins Aww, well you fooled me for awhile. Take care of those memes for me while I’m gone. You just might be one.
  815. Oh! Is home time. Love when it sneaks up on me like that. ‘Cept… not done *blogging*.
  816. http://or.in looks dead-on-arrival from where I stand. Blogging through the pain.
  817. “Are you okay?!” No, my balls just got caught in the paper shredder. Honestly, people.
  818. My humorous impulse to make a girlish wail every time there’s a loud noise is balanced by the knowledge of my co-workers lack of humor.
  819. Bet no one else remembers those movies using so many stereotypical “eccentric scientist” bits. Hi—inventing doesn’t REQUIRE bad hair, okay
  820. Uggh… that’ll be the last time I watch all three Back to the Future movies in a row… whimsical and nostalgic, but makes me wanna invent.
  821. Seems like every day, I look at the clock and it’s 11:11. Hm. Know that means *something*.
  822. Well, now don’t I feel a little hasty sending that email to the unresponsive admin of Zebest.com telling them to go walk off a cyber-pier?
  823. “You ordered for or.in but unfortunately it can’t be registered as minimum letters required for a .in domain is 3 letters.” Fuck. You. Too.
  824. It finally happened—I kicked a badly-parked car and somebody came out asking why I’d kicked it. I pointed. She said she’d had a bad night.
  825. @tyrsalvia I can follow the man who coined the word “meme” on Twitter now? What a wonderful world this is.
  826. Yup. Pretty sure I just purchased http://or.in. I have arrived.
  827. ohmygodsoexcitedyouguysomg 5 CHARACTER DOMAIN OF MY NAME OMG (one day I’ll look back on this as the reckless passion of youth)
  828. Wanna be all civilized and sneeze into your arm when nothing else is around, like me? Every once in awhile you’ll miss and make a loud fart.
  829. @Orinz *cough* that was, of course, meant to read “ICANN,” for those confused. I don’t feel enough respect to spell their name correctly.
  830. Hold on… BOUVET ISLAND has a TLD and Sealand doesn’t? For shame, ICAAN, for SHAME.
  831. Just made the startling discovery my mate and I have somehow rolled our own lolspeak. Girls! Luvem! Wanna eat ’em!
  832. @qDot ?? ??? ???? ????’? ??????? for… oh, nevermind. Twitter chokes on the Deseret characters anyways.
  833. @Ozreiuosn I’m skilled in all sorts of hugs, and although uncomfortable ones are not my specialty, I could certainly oblige a request.
  834. Tend to leave out words in sentences. Recent discovery. Figure people understand ’em anyways. Cowboy kinda feel to it.
  835. Only years later do I realize the value of my English teachers’ advice… I find myself unable to write essays but in the dead of night.
  836. The minute I discovered the TLD of Libya is .ly, I naturally directed myself to http://or.ly …it is what I hoped it might be.
  837. Should start a series of unlikely email addresses; Luvintheweb [at] aol.com has inspired me.
  838. Remember how I asked you to think of words to put on my laptop, but you never did cause you’re busy? I need you now. http://is.gd/uzN
  839. I found my pen! You guys, you guys, I lost it, and I found it! I FOUUUND IT! Guys, I found it! My pen! GUYS!
  840. .info names are only $4.94 right now… hm… /me slaps wrist; NO, BAD TLD, BAD
  841. I swear, the day I receive another email beginning “Dear Administrative Professional” is the day I register ifuckurmother.biz.
  842. Someone who cares about my finances, yet appreciates my penchant for utilizing the internet at all times… please advise re: $200 iPhone.
  843. I win at WordPress upgrades. I fail at working from work. Shh… try not to tell anyone.
  844. Have I mentioned how futuristic I feel whilst IMing to 3 different people in various rooms of my house? Tomorrowland imagineers, take note.
  845. Za Bakdaz and glossolalia! Klaus Nomi’s newest CD has arrived in the mail. Cusày Cusà! http://is.gd/tlu
  846. Here it is, a lovely Saturday night, and me and the little lady @panavatar are too tired to go out. I feel like Twitter did a week ago.
  847. Is knowing enough interesting things enough to make one interesting? “Pretty gift for quotation, a serviceable substitute for wit” and all?
  848. Ok… Hot Chip’s awesome, happy democracy day, Sherilyn Connelly WAS AT MY HOUSE, new black heart goes good on sleeve. There—I twittered it
  849. All my Twitters are belong to Barack Obama. Oh, sorry, mis-meme.
  850. Dear Boss: thank you for leaving early. That means I’m the last person in this huge building & can do whatever I want! Woo! Going home now.
  851. …and then if I’m not dead in the past, killed by robots searching Twitter in the future, then Terminators don’t exist. Right?
  852. Twitter is good for testing against possible Terminators. Like if I say I was at Lee’s Sandwiches, corner Larkin and Willow, from 4:30-5…
  853. If the closer a simulation is to reality , the more infinite the computing power, won’t we HAFTA use programmed bacteria to decode proteins?
  854. @qDot with the aim of a more efficient kite-to-kite nuclear delivery system, no doubt. I might assist you with this… http://is.gd/p7z
  855. Typos piss me off. That’s why I read Stuff White People Like, so I know it’s not just me. http://is.gd/p78 Wikipedia conspicuously missing.
  856. Sealand occupies a very specific dream-space within my psycho-geographic pantheon. The less described as ‘impossibly plausible,’ the better.
  857. Oops! Did I say “pick up chicks?” I meant to say “read blogs about Sealand.”
  858. That was grueling. Computer repair is harder than car repair. Of course, you can’t pick up chicks with a car.
  859. OH: Reverse psychology. It’s like, a girl says, “I’m a freak.” and you’re like “I don’t believe you. Prove it.”
  860. Hold on… Google’s favicon changed?! This is too much for one day. Slow down there, internet.
  861. You didn’t cross them hard enough. I had to get a video card off Craigslist. And a $35 “hill parking” ticket. You’re all jerks.
  862. Careful, delicate computer assembly has consumed the last four hours of my life. Have arrived at chapter 3, “Crossing One’s Fingers.”
  863. I have just stumbled upon the direct line to the Colbert Report. Direct line. I have no idea what to do with this information.
  864. Staring at the clock doesn’t get me any closer to that new motherboard waiting at home, but it does help me concentrate on avoiding work.
  865. @satiredun Googlestalking is about as normal as looking someone up in the phone book. That is, if you still have a phonebook.
  866. I hold a Creative Commons license on the exclamation “balls!” You can use it as long as you attribute it to me, Orin Zebest.
  867. The more I live here, the more I know the real names of crazy fuckers on the bus. MUNI and I have a functioning dysfunctional relationship.
  868. The things I would do to see the Bulgarian State Radio & Television Female Vocal Choir a.k.a. Les Mysterés des Vois Bulgares.. like type it
  869. Going to see the Bulgarian State Radio & Television Female Vocal Choir a.k.a. Les Mysterés des Vois Bulgares a.k.a. near2long2tweet tonight
  870. Let’s do this. I’m hereby Twitter-sourcing to see if anyone knows of a male-friendly solution to hide fripples. I got pro’lems.
  871. One of the simple joys of being male is utilizing the pure efficiency that is a waterless urinal. Hold on… what’s that smell?
  872. Receptionist necking with that unlucky phone headset, you must realize that even from here you’re breathing is frightening to others.
  873. Honestly, who graduates from a culinary academy and starts working at a place called “Donut Time?”
  874. Stranger things have happened than me drinking a cuppa coffee, but I don’t have a time machine on hand to make myself a dinosaur egg omelet.
  875. @germinator Oh, it seems wonderful at first, friend, but be warned: this is a City of Cannibals! (http://is.gd/n7Q)
  876. @qDot Lawyer took one look at you and said “that’s the Teledildonics guy!” Happened to me once with the word “book.”
  877. What are you doing? Resisting the urge to send links to package tracking pages, that’s what.
  878. I’m the kind of optimist who rolls out of bed 10 minutes before work & calls to say that I’m just stepping out the door. Works like a charm.
  879. (Shut UP, Twitter… I don’t need everyone knowing that I blog from work. Or that I blog, for that matter.)
  880. Newest GLOT ‘Roommating’ – http://glot.homepie.org/pos…
  881. Is it bad that, 15 years after the movie, I still expect relative strangers to get the Jurassic Park references I constantly make?
  882. One of the perks of shuffling jobs in San Francisco is that oftentimes you can keep going back to the same good restaurants (Lahore Karahi).
  883. No seriously. My job includes emailing people on Facebook. Thanks, 21st century, you made working for The Man boring all over again.
  884. Super-secret office internet filter trick: just use ‘https’ instead of http. Then you can actually do your job and email people on Facebook.
  885. It’s nice making things. It’s nice to be able to prove it http://tinyurl.com/6jeh3t
  886. It took me two months to assemble the materials, but the creation of an EOS-mounted Holga lens is only hours away http://tinyurl.com/6er2ep
  887. To the fish, I am a Stick-God creating life-giving worms from the end of my God-stick. Speak softly, my little puffer friends.
  888. Tracking new computer: *refresh* DAMN! Still in Dallas. *refresh* DAMN! Still in Dallas. *refresh* DAMN! Still in Dallas. Life is XKCD.
  889. Our house is at the bottom of a giant U made of Carnaval parade, and I can’t get out. Oops! 1000th tweet.
  890. Quite happy that today I wore my black peacoat (recently street-begotten). Everyone else is moved outta here, and they cut the heat.
  891. has decided that waiting for his twitterversary is a dumb idea. In other news, no one cares. In other OTHER news Favrd is not likely for me.
  892. I have determined @confession is a stupid idea. Twitter, you can shut it down. Ariel Waldman’s right. Anonymity can be good—can be dumb too
  893. Nuthin’ like two open bottlesving, creative, fascinating crazy person.
  894. That truck is the most convenient, large, needy, ugly, useful, dirty, least convenient gift I’ve ever sort of received. Mixed blessings, $40
  895. “Weak force” has to be an intentionally lame placeholder force name. Oh damn! $40 street cleaning ticket! I was distracted…
  896. Newest GLOT ‘Three Ideas’ – http://tinyurl.com/5wc2l8
  897. Blogging on the sly… it’s every intellectual’s dream to be paid to think, after all. Why do I feel dirty? Oh yeah, the inherent lie.
  898. Number two? Really? The red zone. It’s red. You can’t park there. People who tell you that you can are liars. Drive over them.
  899. Ought to be more sad country songs ’bout helping ingrate diabetic suspended cab drivers who live in the projects to park properly.
  900. Choice words from my friend Lauren: “self obsessed nerd” will now appear on the back of my laptop, till the stars grow cold http://is.gd/8kp
  901. @Moltz The Onion called, they want their smarm back.
  902. When photo editing, I abuse the vignette tool. That’s what I get for having discriminating tastes. Or OCD.
  903. What a touching man, Dr. Randy Pausch. He may die, but the game goes on. Summary of his last lecture: http://is.gd/8bq
  904. @sfslim The filing cabinets are now as empty as their meaning. The State is friend of the Bureaucracy. The Bureaucracy is enemy of Trees.
  905. Type and fonts and symbols and colors… now this is the work with which I’m comfortable. Wish I could redocorate filing cabinets every day.
  906. “Can you print the new report batches for me?” “Batches? We don’t need no steenkin’ batches!”
  907. @Ozreiuosn S’ok. I envy the time you have to listen to NPR. That’s right: Orin feels odd nostalgia for MSM.
  908. Listening to housing tenant, apparently Jesus, Caine’s clone (who *really* killed Abel), and Silver Surfer are alive and well in our dreams.
  909. Cool! I have an uncle running the Boston Marathon today; everyone root for Paul Berg. If not Paul, root for Obama. If not him, America.
  910. -T9: “It would appear that I will be working as a temp here until at least May 14, seeing as how they’ve scheduled me for training that day”
  911. I’m outta work, but certainly not outta work.
  912. Hm. It would appear that I will be working as a tens jere until at least May 14, seeing as how they’ve scheduled of for training that day.
  913. Going through old security logs, the report for 9/11/01 mentions incidents of “mourning activity.” Weird.
  914. @rhiannononon How bad was it? Bad enough to subject unsuspecting strangers to it at $5 a pop and call it “art?”
  915. Quick, gang! There’s someone outside revving a loud engine, let’s go point and laugh at his small penis!
  916. Doncha love when people argue why they should be able to park in the red zone? Wanting to go back to school more and more… ME NOT THAT GUY
  917. There’s an Advil dispenser in the hall, and I have no doubt as to why.
  918. Any besides me believe that new toner cartriges resemble shoulder-mounted grenades more than office supplies? Ok, imagination overworked.
  919. (sung to “Particle Man”) Laptop at work, laptop at work, someone’s got his laptop at work… laptop a work.
  920. It would appear that the fresh bump on my forehead is not as subtle as I’d hoped. Ah, memories.
  921. “It’s shnapps. Schnoppers. Is it shnapps or schnappers? Schnap ’em!”
  922. Girlfriend is funny-DRUNK on apple schnapps; sort of wishing I hadn’t won the “spot the McGuffin” contest at Dark Room tonight. Sorta not.
  923. “Barack Obama favorited your thing on Digg”
  924. I’ve never had something worthy of submitting to Digg before, but this is it: http://tinyurl.com/5j49m5
  925. WTF? No seriously, cartoon spousal abuse and anthropomorphic dildo boyfriends. And… is that Slash? http://tinyurl.com/yonbzk
  926. Unfortunately, @panavatar and I want something that we don’t have. But I’m sure we know someone who does. But who? Wait, what day is it?
  927. I wanted to give my Discordian friend a noble title in Sealand, and they ARE the cheapest, but our dollar sucks too much. http://is.gd/7wH
  928. The birds have started singing outside. That means it’s dawn, and it means the party went well.
  929. Me putting together a music CD is like Robin Hood entering a darts tournament. With his arrows. Take that, stupid bullseye!
  930. Gahhh! We’re gonna be late for the party! Shh… what party?
  931. “I was gonna MARRY Wesley Crusher but now I’m stuck with you instead.” Thanks, girlfriend; I love you too.
  932. Time for model railroading! See you at the Randall Museum, world. http://www.ggmrc.org/ggmrc/
  933. Tell me if this “Labyrinth Training” is totally cool or if it’s just a promotion for some dumb movie: http://is.gd/4sh I really can’t decide
  934. My goodness! Aren’t these aristocratic titles just the bargain of the century: http://is.gd/7qj
  935. That French maid outfit went over rather well. Guess I’ll have to leave that remark out of context, seeing as how Twitter will be down.
  936. @girlsgonemad Wait… how’d this get in the blender?
  937. Much more difficult to type email on a cellphone than God intended. When God made cellphones.
  938. That’s… weird… the paper fairy left me a present.
  939. Overheard via bum: “you know what, I’m DT’n like a [mofo] right now, but I’m over it, you know. And her.”
  940. Does anyone read my tumblr? Oh, wait, I might have never announced its existence. Tumblr! http://glot.tumblr.com/
  941. @tyrsalvia That is awesome, especially since it means that you got an extra 8 hours of birthday, or (8/24)/365 = 0.00009132nd of a candle.
  942. Another out of context from the same movie: “I’m the hermaphrodite. Not really, just for this.”
  943. “What’s an A with a diaeresis above it sound like?” “A letter with DIAERESIS?” /giggles
  944. Out of context: “you can smell cactus on my drums.” Anyone know the movie?
  945. Battle music in “The Hobbit” animated movie is super 70’s super funky, and decidedly pleasantly inappropriate.
  946. When the weather becomes far more attractive, so do San Franciscans.
  947. Do you feel lucky today? Or do you feel like you’ll be hit by an errant motorist if you give a moment’s attention to something trivial?
  948. Why yes, stranger walking towards me, I am the kind of person who leaves pennies face-up in the middle of the crosswalk for others to find.
  949. Today, I stole one piece of paper from work, and maybe three ideas for short stories.
  950. One advantage of working in a generally boring filing job is that My_Brain function(interestingness) is getting called a lot.
  951. I just thought of a great prank which only requires a lot of dirty, grungy clothes and a metal spoon. Why metal? Tell you later.
  952. I just thought of a great prank which only requires a lot of dirty, grungy clothes and a metal spoon. Why metal? Tell you later.
  953. Mexican glass-bottle Coke just tastes better. Too bad we muck it up with our American brutally un-aesthetic “nutrition facts.”
  954. It’s really, really difficult to get evicted from the projects. It’s startling how easy it is for stubborn people.
  955. Haha! I get to bring my laptop into work on account that there’s no “workstation” for me. Little do they expect…
  956. I’ve just reached the realization, working here in the projects, that my lifestyle is actually kinda ghetto (in a white guy way).
  957. Blue, brown, and white–my favorite clothing color combination. At least if I bleed to death I’ll look good doing it.
  958. Ow! Cut myself shaving. Do I still have to go to work now? Rrr… but the kids on the bus are gonna make fun of me…
  959. This is the sound of me falling asleep and falling on my keyboard: “nnfrts fewa fcvre3w4qq”
  960. Oh, fireworks from my bedroom window. Now I remember why I pay six times as much to live here as in the projects.
  961. Granted, I’ve never *bought* any of the Freshwater Puffers or Electric Catfish or Medusa Worms, but I hope Yelp is wrong: http://is.gd/6Ld
  962. Freshwater Pufferfish? I swear, sometimes I think this aquarium store stocks contraband future animals.
  963. @panavatar It’s never about the donuts, sweetpea. It’s about the love. The love of donuts.
  964. Donut day, I went. Met @sfslim and M2 in person finally. Cameraphone makes me feel tiny. Ride home had a busload of girls softball players.
  965. You ever feel like everyone’s watching you? A Flickr event is that feeling externalized.
  966. Holy crap I’m arriving on time for an event? Something’s wrong…
  967. There will be time for donuts today… huzzah! ETA 25 minutes.
  968. The worst part of my rainbow plaid pants is that they’re poor camouflage in most situations. The best part.. is they’re rainbow plaid pants.
  969. @eriney The possibility of “lost in translation” did cross my mind. Lemme find out… ok, she doesn’t know. My answer: squishing involved.
  970. My girlfriend just rolled over in bed to face me, said “boots!,” and rolled back over.
  971. Weird, I had a dream last night that… oh, wait, NO I DIDN’T I’ve been up since 10pm with a nose made of sandpaper. Brain hate.
  972. Did I miss this somehow? New York shoves old subway cars into the ocean to start reefs? http://is.gd/6u9
  973. So excited that tomorrow is Day of the Donut! Soon, our center-challenged pastry friends will PAY for their deliciousness. http://is.gd/5gJ
  974. I think that Frankenstein movie had a more profound effect on me than previously realized. Grrrr… Bedtime should NOT be 6:00pm.
  975. @girlsgonemad Well? Did it work? Did you finish the paper? Or will you be living here? In the projects?
  976. Whenever I in to Memphis Minnie’s I’m reminded of David Cross’ tattoo of a pig helpfully serving itself to the hungry victuals-seekers.
  977. Skipped breakfast no time to shave hair is dirty none of these forms is complete my throat is trying to escape through my larynx.
  978. @eriney Proud parents used to put grades up on the fridge. Today we have this thing.
  979. I just got asked to stay “a few more weeks.” Will continue to hum theme from Brazil for foreseeable future.
  980. @Ozreiuosn you should totally do Breakers to Bay. Get the same awesome experience as Bay to Breakers but go in a salmon suit against current
  981. I am a very organized worker and YOU PEOPLE HAVE TOO MANY STAPLES!
  982. Now seems like a nice time for a walk… To investigate a burgler alarm.
  983. Through the miracle of temp work, my father drove a pickle truck, and now I work in the projects. Who got the better gig I can’t say.
  984. “Welcome to your bright future in Hill Valley” … I mean Haze Valley… Hayes Valley.
  985. They have heaters on the bus for suckers like me. And by heaters I mean clumps of people huddling together for warmth.
  986. At the Dark Room: “Mary Shelley’s” Frankenstein for Robert Dinero month. I don’t remember any Viking funeral pyre OR Zombie Bonham Carter!
  987. is reading about ammonites, the Rodinian supercontinent, and stromatolites AGAIN. Awaiting first applicant for that there room we got.
  988. Romanesco Broccoli, the fractal snack, fills me with irrational hope that the world is ordered in sensible beautiful nodules of logic.
  989. You know what I would love? A breadcrumb-trail script for Wikipedia. XKCD has a reference to everything: http://xkcd.com/214/
  990. is considering a degree in biology.
  991. One of my favorite picture-books, to this day, is Haeckel’s “Kunstformen der Natur” http://is.gd/5IW
  992. There is a constant pressure in my temporal lobes. Yawning makes it worse. I fear my ancestral Synapsid nature is trying to reassert itself.
  993. Cross-cultural spazzgasm: Emo in Romania means Han, Han in Korean which, if you look it up, means Emo! http://is.gd/5Df
  994. Can anyone explain to me why… why Daly City looks like that? Is there a vacuum there?
  995. @satiredun You’ll miss it when it’s over :-/ …said someone sounding remarkably like his father.
  996. What a lovely day! So lovely, I chose to walk from Hayes Valley to the Financial District to Union Square! What was I thinking!
  997. @Ozreiuosn: I see you’re having a pleasant day at the orifice, too.
  998. @girlsgonemad Theoretically I’m done at 5. I leave the office at… let’s say 3? And I drop off my miniscule timesheet. Then I pee in a cup.
  999. Mountains of paperwork. My job: molehills. Low-income housing is an utterly bizarre and unlikely scheme.
  1000. Dooo deew doot… off to work I go… where I stop, nobody knows.
  1001. My printer seems quite angry at being forced to make tax returns. I can’t entirely blame it.
  1002. @germinator or is it 29?
  1003. @germinator !! Happy Birthday, Francophone !! How could I forget that you are 19 years old today?
  1004. Sudden dream recall: picking off my legs small, round, white mushrooms. I need to stop reading VanderMeer before bed; Graycaps gonna get me.
  1005. That sunset was the real one. I guess the one earlier today I must have dreamt. Oh! That was sunRISE.
  1006. @housechore Hiya there, stranger!
  1007. @tyrsalvia You too, eh? Mine feels like I need to blow my throat. That, combined with a vague “things look unusual today…” perception.
  1008. I eat more sushi than the per capita average. Let’s not discuss how much more. I figure I save on expensive cooking fires, y’know.
  1009. @laughingsquid Knock on wood! You knock on wood right now!
  1010. First day of the apartment listing, five responses. Awesome sauce!
  1011. Well, just after waking my mother let’s me know that SF is still a crazy town. Yup—news flash!
  1012. Things I wish had better search results #4277: “surrealist model railroad”
  1013. @zefrank You mean FINAL winner, don’t you? Let’s not play favorites…
  1014. Seems @laughingsquid is now running first place for the Webby awards in its category! That’s what I get for voting… http://is.gd/4Pd
  1015. @sfslim “SFSlim mixes his metaphors. With alcohol.”
  1016. Mid-day blood sugar drag, it’s time for a lunch run to neighborhood Taqueria.
  1017. @girlsgonemad Singing us to sleep with a new icon! Can’t slip anything past me…
  1018. Attempting my own, I’ve just realized @laughingsquid must have the best tax deductions imaginable. Everything fun is a business expense!
  1019. Well, for the moment I’m stuck in Santa Rosa on account of the Tibet protest—driving thru a military intervention sounds less than steller
  1020. “To be sure, there is no official diagnosis of death by blogging” My God, did the New York Times just reference XKCD? http://is.gd/4ro
  1021. Visiting family in Sana Rosa and playing careful with roommate situation. I forgot natop power cord. Took 10% battery just to get online.
  1022. @rhiannononon Gah! I was hoping for an evening shindig, as there’s a huntin’ gate near Lake Berryessa where I need to be at 10am. L8R/haps?
  1023. Seeing how the other half lives (roommate): watching Ghost World on the couch, eating dinner there, then having ice cream.
  1024. And now, here at FoodsCo… clearance pickles!
  1025. Heehee… with new time-recording app, I can see how long I’ve spent working on @panavatar ‘s website… and charge her money! BWAHAHA
  1026. I just realized that most of my latest tweets have been to recount dreams of the night… morning… ok, afternoon before.
  1027. Dream: Kinky Salon is in Bayview. Theme: pickles. I’m broke, but I bring a master pickle chef. The band is The Picklettes.
  1028. @rhiannononon Ahem, as @Panavatar said, we have a pickup truck, and tomorrow we even have parking for it. Also, I don’t have to work! Sigh..
  1029. Aggh… this new time managament program I installed on a dare is taking sooo long to operate. Tres ironique, non?
  1030. Last night I dreamed of lenses. Large, bulky lenses. Sometimes I wish I had a self-portrait series.
  1031. Great. Now I guess I need to start listing “Paleogeography” in interests sections I fill out. This’ll sure score me chicks. http://is.gd/3WW
  1032. @girlsgonemad for me, playing Sims 2 (in… 2004?) I needed an indispensably low-class object set: http://is.gd/3Ws & http://is.gd/3Wt
  1033. Such a magical walk with @panavatar just now. Magical, because I was in a place where anything could be true. That’s all there is to it.
  1034. Still need more ideas for sticker-tape, from you fine people: http://is.gd/3UI
  1035. Dernit. Tried for the past two hours to find an underground drain/sewer map of SF; no luck. Re-enacting that dream will have to wait.
  1036. @girlsgonemad Hard to tell if those are song lyrics of just that magic medicine talking.
  1037. Goodbye April 1st, still time for one more prank…
  1038. Also, Camper shoes bought at the same thrift store for six dollars. SIX DOLLARS! This is why not to Yelp everything.
  1039. Top perks of Daly City: Filipino island food found in a sea of generic-ness, $8 Steve Madden shoes, and parking. Ohh, the parking…
  1040. Eight months later, we’ve finally been pulled over for that broken taillight. Wishing I were an electrician.
  1041. After the stupid parade, I just feel stupid for not acting so stupid and stupidly planning to get stupid with the stupids.
  1042. @Ozreiuosn I don’t wanna go to bed neither, but that’s cause I still need a job. And I don’t have a boyfriend. I only want one of those.
  1043. I suppose I am not going to Drawbridge today. Probably not going to shoot a gun, either. I don’t know what I can cross off: http://is.gd/3zy
  1044. @sfslim Glad you find them as fascinating as I. Course, now I’m trying to find how to get a cheap $350 one from China…
  1045. I don’t want to twitter. Twitter is for people whose lives are not going haywire.
  1046. @eriney huh-wha!? Where do I sign up to get paid to tolerate MySpace’s design interface?
  1047. My hair is brown once more. I know, I said that a month ago. This time f’reals :-\
  1048. Craigslist, Sept,. I gave away bikes, & one of the respondents (who emailed too late) turned up in Myspace autosearch—& she is HOT! Dammit!
  1049. How embarassing. 9/10 Google results returned for someone’s name are unfulfilled Ron Paul campaign pledges. The other is his Myspace band.
  1050. Usually about this time of night I don’t like to tweet on account that then people’d know I’m up.
  1051. “San Francisco: we call the sticks up peoples’ asses ‘butt plugs.'”
  1052. After blintzes and pancakes, we are looking for activities. Mmm… blintzes.
  1053. @satiredun I agree with you on both counts. Label my laptop! http://snurl.com/22vpu
  1054. Still very much in need of words to stick onto my new laptop: http://snurl.com/22vpu
  1055. Newest GLOT ‘Laptop Challenge ‘08!’ – http://tinyurl.com/2rf7ft
  1056. This new Lonovo that @panavatar has brings the total to FOUR computers in our bedroom. This would be ok if we were more organized people.
  1057. For those keeping score, a fresh install of Windows XP SP2 requires *93* high priority updates to bring it up to current security standards.
  1058. The Ancestor’s Tale in Wikipedia form, been reading it all day: http://tinyurl.com/zwy2w
  1059. Well, this may come as a bit of a surprise to everyone, including myself, but I have COMPLETELY restored this busted laptop /knockonwood
  1060. Chipped my favorite beer glass 🙁 Successfully installed fake-OEM Windows 🙂
  1061. Sealand royal titles, Baron, Baronless, Lord or Lady, party like they’re only £19.99! http://snurl.com/22mlb
  1062. @cgardner Excellent! We have had need of a chromatic maintainence technician for some time!
  1063. @Ozreiuosn Ubuntu technology!?!
  1064. Oh dear. I seem to have inherited a semi-functional laptop.
  1065. Girlie has her laptop!
  1066. The woman keeps asking me to go look out our bedroom window. No, woman, your new laptop isn’t here yet.
  1067. @rhiannononon by all means, my altar is littered with offerings from those who marvel at my search-fu
  1068. Hazards of owning a DSLR include not having enough time to sort through all the damn photos you took. Better to be photographed, methinks.
  1069. Someone needs driving lessons. Someone needs to drive them somewhere pretty.
  1070. Lemme say that the amount of people at the big wheel race was unimaginable. Next year I say we take over the world’s crookedest highway.
  1071. Ok, first off, Easter turns out to be the best holiday for street donations. This includes the stuff that I myself put out on the curb.
  1072. Oh dear God. The Color Wars have begun. Did you hear me!? THE COLOR WARS HAVE BEGUN
  1073. For today, @panavatar and I are off the computers. It is a daring experiment.
  1074. @teamfeed, actually, there are two pink teams, @PussyPinkTeam and @FF1CAEteam. Pink has split! Join the one true color! All of ’em!
  1075. @mashable @rainbowteam This conflict will go on forever unless we can overcome our chroma. Some can’t even decide! http://snurl.com/226vn
  1076. @eriney I hear dat. I must study for tomorrow’s… oh, who am I fooling. Tomorrow’s just Thursday.
  1077. @tyrsalvia I say you belong on rainbow team! Just send an @ to @rainbowteam and make your icon all spectrum-ified. Confusion is an art.
  1078. @tyrsalvia you remember Ze Frank? Well, @zefrank has begun twittering. That should explain it.
  1079. @rainbowteam ftw!
  1080. I think I need to lay off the internet. I’ve been hitting it a little hard these past couple days.
  1081. Joe Frank is my spiritual guru.
  1082. “What you need, when you need it” has come to be a dead website’s default epitaph.
  1083. What an unfortunately named website for what it is: http://profilactic.com
  1084. Ow. Opening a glass bottle of Passionfruit syrup that’s lain unopened for months can be dangerous. Especially if it opens by splitting apart
  1085. Arthur C. Clarke Died!?! (http://rurl.org/l5l) Well, I guess I can cross him off my “list of people to meet before I die.” Too late 🙁
  1086. I live a mile and a half from the ocean. It’s 3pm and sunny out. Is it possible that I keep hearing foghorns?
  1087. Hah! An old Haiku I wrote: “What is STOPPING you / from doing something SO COOL / you’re made IMMORTAL?”
  1088. Girlz idea adapted for a stencil pair: Hillary = Kai Winn, Obama = Ben Sisko. It has poetry, but does it merit permanence?
  1089. There’s something pure about making a stencil, something old-fashioned and meticulous. Nowadays you also happen to be a “memetic vector.”
  1090. Am I the first one to realize that GoogleMaps street view has a wee Leprechaun today?
  1091. @Ozreiuosn St. Patty’s Day Headache remedy: “moar beer, plz”
  1092. Browsing Craigslist and wondering of paths that might have been walked.
  1093. ping for the LJ: http://tinyurl.com/3xte8p (why yes, to answer your immediate query, I do in fact have a Livejournal)
  1094. Said the A-Wing pilot: “There’s… too many of them!” http://friendfeed.com/orinz
  1095. Hmm. This looks interesting. Anyone have an invite for http://ffffound.com ?
  1096. Arrggh, why does everything I think of while I’m in the bath vanish as soon as I leave? To be back on my computer? Where I am now?
  1097. Girlie’s laptop just died, exactly like she said it would. Well, I spose that’s why she’s getting a new one next week (!)
  1098. Oh dear… late at night, stuck in Sacramento, time to kill… 666 BoingBoing unread.
  1099. Pretty drive this morning, but I’ve determined that the CD player is allergic to stickers. Sigh. Stickers.
  1100. Oops! Did I just give away the fact that I’m still awake? Darn auto-twitter.
  1101. Newest GLOT ‘Zeitgeist in a Nutshell’ – http://tinyurl.com/387hwc
  1102. Off to the very last Consumeet ;-( Annie O’Brien’s on Howard, right near CNet HQ
  1103. Decided to stay here in SF for the night so that means I’ll be driving out at approx 6:30am tomorrow morn. Such is life… oy.
  1104. I love how sometimes I’ll upload something to the Pirate Bay and within a minute I’ll have two downloaders. They love me over there.
  1105. About to remove 3 torrents I’ve been long-time seeding, cumulatively 200gigas to my credit. Bye-a torrents, hullo free disk space.
  1106. I’d kinda like to write one, but I’d also want to really make it. This draws me to the conclusion that my actors would be stop-motion.
  1107. Best yet! “Forced to wear a grass skirt, David Hasselhoff ingests a pheromone that attracts weasels.” http://www.scriptfrenzy.org
  1108. “Badly burned in a meth lab explosion, a disgruntled child actor finds a wish-granting mold.” ScriptFrenzy’s plot generator is pretty cool.
  1109. I just realized I’m reading three books at once, and have plans to read more. Slowly, inexorably, I am becoming my father.
  1110. As far as hipsters go, I’m still a fan of The Mission more than The Haight. Way more restaurants, tho (thanks, @panavatar!)
  1111. Grammar Q: if a file extension is used in a sentence (.ico) should indefinite article ‘an’ be used b/c of initial vowel, or is it DOT ico?
  1112. @rhiannononon zomg PicLens + Flickr Auto Page script = hours of viewing playsure: http://snurl.com/21k9c
  1113. Fortune cookie: “The time is right to make new friends.”
  1114. “Since my surgery, I’ve lost my short-term memory and my job of 16 years. No, I don’t think they are funny.” Guess who does? Guess! ME.
  1115. This commenter still annoys me 3 months later, trying to hog all the Flickr photos tagged ‘aneurysm’ http://snurl.com/21hdx
  1116. Excellent… both Yuggoth, Homeworld of Migo and Barbelith, placenta of Mankind are functioning exactly as planned…
  1117. Great! 500gig drive is NOT dead, just need to be split into 2 partitions which will only take about… oh fuck.
  1118. Today my goal is to fix at least one of girlfriend’s TWO broken computers. They say things come in threes, but man, I don’t like those guys.
  1119. “I don’t want to become a Jedi Knight, I just want to bite your butt!” I ? my girlfriend.
  1120. (with the power of TwitterFox, I can update many different Twitter accounts easily — I choose not to reveal which)
  1121. Just downloaded all my old Consumating data in anticipation of March 14 über-death. Who knows if and when this will come in handy…
  1122. @panavatar: it’s all Greek to me…
  1123. We have entered a spatial distortion, houses and cars have lost normal dimensions.
  1124. Doncha just hate when you finally download that torrent you’ve been looking for… and it turns out to be completely in Russian?
  1125. Running out of space for photos on Orinschtuff drive… hm, I know there must be some solution what with that extra 120GB I have hooked up.
  1126. “Good morning Orin! You’re computer is dumb!” Yeah, yeah, I know.
  1127. Someone help me, tiny little hearts are randomly spawning all across my Twitter friends timeline.
  1128. @Ozreiuosn <3
  1129. Ok, the Japanese string instrument player is playing “Cumbanchero.” Frigging amazing.
  1130. Lynae is taking me to Beaver street for Valentine’s. Huh huh…. for sushi :-O
  1131. I think it’s fair to say that 4 days of the past week have been devoted to web design. Finally progressing, but at expense of getting a job.
  1132. @Ozreiuosn Good luck with THAT. Oh, wait, I think I might be going too.
  1133. The later it gets the more I think I’m gonna see him. I’m just gonna have to call the cops again. Civilized folks only fight vigilante last.
  1134. Lynae on Last Tango in Paris: “You know a movie sucks when you don’t even want to wait around for the buttsex scene.”
  1135. Yay! I found parking in front of my house. Hard to tell if that feels safer or not, tonight.
  1136. Good morning! Afternoon. It would appear that the note for krazy-kriminal is still taped to the outside of my building.
  1137. Newest GLOT ‘About Last Night…’ – http://tinyurl.com/2wbqum
  1138. Newest GLOT ‘Monica has a Birthday’ – http://tinyurl.com/2sh9x3
  1139. Ooh, this is gonna be a mighty fine glot…
  1140. In fact, I think I’m so inspired by gardening that I will finally bite the head off my solid chocolate banana slug.
  1141. Wow, is it good to be gardening again. Die, weeds, die! In you go, wall-climbers.
  1142. OMG–WTB single-wheel gyrocar PST.
  1143. I’m going to Monica’s Birthday http://www.monicasbirthday….. Anybody else going?
  1144. Newest GLOT ‘Several Posts in One’ – http://tinyurl.com/327etk
  1145. is sending sweet farewell notes to girls he’s never met, just because he feels sad and because he can.
  1146. I’m making the most of the Consu-shutdown. For one thing, I figured out what YASN stands for.
  1147. Newest GLOT ‘Why I Do Web Design’ – http://tinyurl.com/2tvs5c
  1148. is very sad to hear that Consumating will be going offline. Unlike some, *cough* @Ozreiuosn *cough*.
  1149. Glasses are finally ready, after a call. Guess I just need to pick them up, and get an easier-to-write number. Stupid doctor’s handwriting.
  1150. Great! My glasses are done. Silly optometrist. I just need to get an easier-to-remember phone number, is all.
  1151. Great! My glasses are done. I just need to get an easier-to-remember phone number, is all.
  1152. Newest GLOT ‘These Are the Graffiti in My Neighborhood’ – http://tinyurl.com/2nahbc
  1153. I also sometimes forget that everything I tweet is then repeated on BOTH blogs… oh, dear. Didn’t mean to offend, website.
  1154. The longer I do web design the more I hate my computer. And life.
  1155. @germinator, for the record, Mr. Obama. I agree with him on many things, and I think Hillary is a dumb name with a dumb record.
  1156. I now have in my possession a sticker that says “I voted!” Two guesses why.
  1157. Ok, I stayed up too late, but I’m happy with all the things I did. A balanced lifestyle is sometimes difficult to recognize.
  1158. Back from the bus, kinda wanna write the driver a nice note. Thanks, Chicken!
  1159. Still wish I had a taste for karaoke. Part of the problem is that most places don’t keep Emir Kusturica and the No Smoking Orchestra on
  1160. Right now, Chicken John does karaoke: “Under the Boardwalk.” Small steps.
  1161. Lack of Twitter updates: my dog was put down yesterday. Today, Bad Movie Night on a bus. Small steps.
  1162. “The entries you write are more like articles, mine are more like conversations.” Yeah, yeah they kinda are.
  1163. Still obsessively reading interviews w/ Jeff VanderMeer.
  1164. Man… rainy weather means people don’t put as much free stuff out on the curb, for fear that NO ONE will get to use it later.
  1165. The more I become enamored of Jeff VanderMeer’s work, the more intensely I feel that it will someday require a large, large Wiki.
  1166. Orin… stop reading about spermaceti and finish that FTP music upload for @Ozreiuosn. Seriously.
  1167. Friend wants to know if he should donate a kidney. I blame January.
  1168. Seeing if girlie can get her permit, then seeing my moms @ UCSF. Chinatown, too, maybe. Getting out of the house = good.
  1169. Thank goodness I don’t blog as much as I could. I’d be a writer.
  1170. Well, I figured out I’m voting for Obama, if for no other reason than the good will of this proposal: http://snurl.com/1ykda
  1171. Compromise: order Chinese to go and then get uno super burrito con al pastor just down one block… the urban advantage.
  1172. I crave burrito. Girlie craves sushi. What to do?
  1173. I am a master defragmenter. Sigh… waiting for reasons to celebrate something.
  1174. Even though I still greatly prefer the solitude of writing in DarkRoom, Flock’s blog post editor is remarkably useful. Praise to devs.
  1175. Those last two links are NOT new, but my plugin brilliantly sees they lack the “HasBeenTwittered” value… cause they’re older than Twitter.
  1176. Newest GLOT ‘Games Fun, Fun Good’ – http://tinyurl.com/2g37sr
  1177. Newest GLOT ‘City of Cannibals’ – http://tinyurl.com/25rk6n
  1178. I dunno if I’m ready for my dream job.
  1179. Such as today.
  1180. Sometimes one spends all day toiling to do a small task only to find much later the problem is caused by one’s own mental blockage.
  1181. Cognitive Association Dysfunction: can’t listen to some songs cause it sounds like being im’ed, a vibrating car makes you pick up the phone.
  1182. The email consumes me. I am consumed. Stop talking, Dad. I’m getting a job.
  1183. Still doing research for the photo-folks: http://www.photo2text.com/O…
  1184. Got a job response from the Photo-folk that I wrote to more’n a week ago. Wouldn’t it be awesome if I got the job I wanted, on the 1st try?
  1185. It’s the small things that one really grows to appreciate living here in SF, like one day being able to park somewhere near your residence.
  1186. arrr… good morning. what a beautiful day for it to be the morning after… blarg.
  1187. “Tell the people you love how much they mean to you” -fortune cookie. Hey, I love you.
  1188. I wrote the girl I wrote about, out of courtesy. Hope it’s for Zebest.
  1189. Newest GLOT ‘Spelling Bee(r)’ – http://tinyurl.com/ysh25u
  1190. Cameraphone pictures are so dumb. Especially the ones I like that I upload.
  1191. And yet here I am, the interface is beautiful, the builtin Flickr uploader can’t be beat, though it IS sucking half my available RAM.
  1192. I have a love/hate relationship with the Flock browser. I just spent the last 2 hours of my life x-ferring things over from another copy.
  1193. Oh dear, here I am again in front of the computer. Am I addicted to the internet? Maybe. Pfft… I could quit anytime I wanted.
  1194. My medical experience yesterday is now a matter of public record—I just took a big blog all over it. Check the LJ, folks.
  1195. Lynae is going with her brother to drop off his kids’ homework. There’s something very comfortable about suburban boredom.
  1196. I totally hung out with these folks on Saturday, and now they’re on LaughingSquid: http://snipurl.com/1y6nr. Lynae got hit on by ’em.
  1197. @ozreiuosn: Pustula the Unpoppable? Mr. Grossypants? Rikki-zitti-tavi? The White Spot? ANWAR? Oil Monger 4000? Dot?
  1198. Second night in Vacaville. Tomorrow back in the city. There is a cat here, and it makes all the difference in the world.
  1199. @girlsgonemad iPod? Magical! There is no joy greater than… well, spiritual enlightenment, but it’s nice to have great music with you, too.
  1200. Hey everyone, will be out of town a few days. Lynae’s mom has passed away. Will be tending to arrangements and helping her out and whatnot.
  1201. Spent today hanging out with @girlsgonemad. Like, since I got up. Which was 3:00pm. Eeee… Thanks Caitlin!
  1202. @girlsgonemad Where are you going? 1992?
  1203. Newest GLOT ‘A Non-Novel Experience’ – http://tinyurl.com/2d3qlz
  1204. Finishing a blog post after an experience is long over gives one enough emotional distance to not care terribly horribly.
  1205. One of my goals while I’m unemployed is to clear out all/most of the half-written Glot posts. There’s only about 5-6 as of now. I write.
  1206. I found the Yoda fountain by memory tonight. My only previous locating experience? Flickr geotagged photos.
  1207. @sfslim sounds just like home, it sounds to me.
  1208. Yesterday: my mom’s mad at me b/c she thinks I want to ask for money. This is not my plan at all, I say. Now, brother says shes “pissed.”
  1209. @girlsgonemad I sympathize with first and sesecond statement. Sorry lady. Perk up, buttercup.
  1210. I <3 Chicken John. Circus Ridiculous! was awesome. Dancing rats, reverse stripper, but no booze in the bar. I suspect civil gov’t sab
  1211. Still debating if I am to go on the Caco-zone trip to AZ. Gas will cost ~$250, which coincidentally is how much the towing impound lot cost.
  1212. @germinator since I finished writing about the silly not-Burningman roadtrip, that’s since when.
  1213. Newest GLOT ‘Last Week in August’ – http://tinyurl.com/2a247q
  1214. Friday parking found. Snitter works again. Partition recovered waiting overnight. Now I just need to find $355 on the ground or something.
  1215. Newest GLOT ‘Small Discovery’ – http://tinyurl.com/2aqewf
  1216. I managed to fit that entire character string in at exactly 140 characters, and did it artfully. Hm. Twitter is the new Haiku.
  1217. Hard drive partition merge failed. Snitter is broken from new install. $355 in towing fines. 9am tomorrow must move the truck. Today sucked.
  1218. Two albums by She Mob uploaded to What.cd. Now I can feel that I’ve done something today. Not that it’ll be the only thing…
  1219. The responses so far have been very, very nice. Think this morning I’ll make bacon.
  1220. Newest GLOT ‘It’s Not Working’ – http://tinyurl.com/2ga6lc
  1221. I’m finally writing about it publicly.
  1222. Now is the time for sushi. That’ll help me get un-sick.
  1223. Cleaning up yard debris, I discovered some earthworms. Hey! No, actually salamanders in disguise: http://snurl.com/1x7lc
  1224. Back from Sac, Lynae’s great uncle decided he didn’t have to rip out catherters today. Now to watch ST:VOY w/ Andy Dick. ANDY DICK.
  1225. Friend & ex-coworker doing stand-up at Brainwash, Moffat Field hearing on Hanger 1, but it looks like we’re going to Lynae’s family dinner
  1226. I wake up this morning with a craving for Connections…
  1227. Never had my eyeballs dialated with drops. Doesn’t feel like much, but it feels unnatural.
  1228. At the eye doctors, although I’m not scoring too well… It’s been awhile.
  1229. is watching “Kinky Boots” and enjoying it too much. That’s right, sod off job! Tomorrow I blog the full ridiculousness, in public.
  1230. I have so much else to worry about, and yet still I am really really eager to watch Connections with James Burke. I am a science nerd.
  1231. Health benefits still good till February, though. Way to light a fire under my ass and make some appointments.
  1232. For LJ friends only – “Now You Know” http://snurl.com/1wxzg
  1233. Motherfuck. Let it be known that I have now officially been fired over a keyboard.
  1234. I love my dad: Light bursts through thick fog – Fractals from the sun overcome – Moisture from the night
  1235. Thank heaven! I’ve finally found a torrent for the impossible-to-find Connections series hosted by Janes Burke: http://snurl.com/1wwxk
  1236. Gettting sick is the most helpless part of being sick. You can feel it coming but there’s nothing you can do to stop it.
  1237. Newest GLOT ‘Wishing Away the Smell’ – http://tinyurl.com/2x6las
  1238. It’s offical. I’m a registered Etsy member now. Let the torrent begin.
  1239. @Ozreiuosn to all Oz’z struggling to find meaning in a troubled and chaotic world: you’re still awesome even amongst all the crumbling.
  1240. Hey, blue skies outside! Oh, wait… that’s just a dim twilight on the grey, overcast Kafka novel that is the heavens.
  1241. I write letters to peoples so dey don’t make with the firings of self. Thanks much!
  1242. New blog entry ‘This Keyboard I Got’ – http://tinyurl.com/27eygr
  1243. @Ozreiuosn: and now I must respond in kind, thou saucy East Bay wench. http://snurl.com/1wp6l
  1244. is at the Post Yule Pyre despite all good advice to the contrary.
  1245. Well, I guess I can’t use that “old” keyboard @ work anymore. OCD is a terrible disease.
  1246. They sell on eBay for slightly less than the $30-60 which I remember, but still… this is the find of the year fershure
  1247. I cannot fucking believe I am typing on a fucking Model M keyboard that I got for free. THIS IS AMAZING!!!!
  1248. It’s alive! For those unfamiliar with my newest love: http://www.clickykeyboards….
  1249. Hold on… ‘fore I swipe this whole thing with a baby’s diaper, I should check if the damned thing works.
  1250. And now I have proceeded to obsessively clean each individual, interchangeable, exquisite key.
  1251. I have just scored a genuine IBM Model M keyboard… I can feel the springs buckle, THE SPRINGS!!
  1252. Experimenting in Photoshop to create… multiple Orins.
  1253. Listening to Godspeed You Black Emperor and looking at photos of an abandoned hospital (http://snurl.com/1wj1e). When did I get so emo?
  1254. Whoa! The girlfriend of Mr. Barrett just gave me $40 despite my protests otherwise. I wasn’t serious about recouping that 18¢ loss.
  1255. @Ozreiuosn: care to share with the rest of us?
  1256. Have I mentioned that my new 4½ hour Gypsy SuperAdventure mix is FUCKING AMAZING and I win at “music choices?”
  1257. The Irish consulate just called… Mr. Barrett is finally coming to claim his passport. Let’s see this Mystery Man face to face.
  1258. Must share horribly aweful and totally weirdo-cool Flickr set I found: http://snurl.com/1wbo9 (NSFW!)

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