Everyone is telling me about it. The instantaneously infamous Boston Aqua Teen LED Bomb Scare of ’07. No, I haven’t heard about it before. Wow, no really. No, I haven’t been reading “the blogs”. I understand it’s all over the internet. Yes, it’s pretty funny. What you people don’t understand is that although I have a lot of online presence and know a lot about a lot, I am not all over the internets like flies on butter. This may seem an unlikely and unusual state of existence, especially for those that knew me in college. Things change.
Let me explain something: I’m a longtime fan. Aqua Teen is made from distilled awesome. It’s one of the most original, hilarious, and culturally ingenious shows in production today. It’s gets bonus points for confusing the hell out of anyone over a certain age. Then take Homeland Security, which is of course one of the greatest dumb factories in current times. The supercollider built to smash these two together may one day obliterate us all when Jerry Springer is nominated to the Supreme Court. It is, by all contemporary definitions, a super-meme.
I don’t care. I don’t care. Why don’t I care? Lots of good reasons. Although on the internet, I am not of it. In real life I am in fact possessor of a rather convoluted and novel social life. I have come to favor this over previous pastimes—i.e. this computer. And while I’ve neither the time nor impetus to describe the IRL world further, I do feel satisfied asserting it’s existence.
Keep me updated about this bizarre Boston business. I’ll give you that special feeling you get from telling someone who should already know (but doesn’t).