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Dream Journal

Sharing Space (at a Party) with Plarvolia, and It’s OK

I show up to a big art party bash, one of those semi-regular community-wide fun Bay Area events, where I quite soon run into Plarvolia. It’s too late; there’s no pretending; we both have seen that we have seen one another. We share the same reaction: while niether of us likes being in the same space, ignoring each other might be tolerable. She is wearing a pair of obliquely-angled blinders over the edge of her glasses — I spot them as we perform our mutual heel-turn about-face. The blinders give her exasperated/embarrassed expression a heightened cartoonish quality.

The party is rather lively as there’s lots to do. Vibe is creative and friendly. The event is laid out on a wide unsteep staircase, more of a single-sided ziggurat I suppose, such that one can see the swath of the revelry both up and down. The mood is light enough that she and I end up nearby on a few couches. Without discomfort, we can idly observe and even eavesdrop thus finally getting a genuine read on the other person — perhaps the root of our earlier failure to connect. Eventually we even flow into shared conversation. It comes as a striking relief for us both, this passive lifting of the unresolved tension and harshness we carried these years. I observe her former warniness replaced by a sort of wan disappointment at her own misjudgment of me (or simply unlucky judgement). She realizes I could’ve made a nice friend — still could be — and who knows what else — in the end all the mistake cost was wasted time. None of this is acknowledged verbally. By the end as the party is emptying out, she invites me to meet outside, or later, something like that. I say “we’ll see, I’m gonna help clean things up here for a bit.”

And that’s exactly what I do. I don’t think much about it for a bit, as I quite enjoy having a bit of camaraderie with the party organizers (and I usually do). I do take a moment though to reflect how I’ve managed to leave her to herself, to let her invitation to furtherance sit and rest. She may choose to either wait for me or to go off for her next thing, as she pleases. I didn’t overthink it.


I wake up quite early. I recognize the significance of a Plarvolia dream like this. I write only a brief description, nudging myself to remember it the rest of the day (one such trick I’ve learned over years of writing down dreams).

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Dream Journal

The White Stoat

Sylvester Stallone has been working with my wife at a gallery show. I’m sitting across the way, splayed on the floor looking not unlike a hobo. Sly, out of the goodness of his heart, brings me chocolate chips. I’m genuinely thankful and tell him how he’s my favorite, 1984 was the best year, etc. (If I’m perfectly honest, I’d bet this is referencing a story about when someone was a kid and they met Joe Pesci in an airport. He goes “Who’s your favorite actor?” Kid says, “You of course!” Pesci say’s “That’s the right answer, kid”, and hands him a crisp $100 bill.)

After Satllone is outside I walk over to my wife and chat. Somehow the topic comes up: I share my opinion that the MidJourney prompt she used for the show is problematically basic. She might not have realized it, but the source prompts have been collected on the gallery’s server are public. So hers something being something like “blue Elmo Sunday morning” next to the many elaborate and tricky prompts used by the other artists in the show gives a bad impression. I know she worked harder than that. To make my point I give her the analogy: “An expert can do what a novice can do. But the novice can’t do what the expert can”.

An acquaintance, Andi, is working nearby also, wearing a mechanic’s suit onesie. I chat with her too and express how I feel like her outfit is great, but if the name tag said “Becky” that’d be perfect. Still working, she reveals her large back tattoo that says “Cantram Parts”, a family business that’s been around 100 years. Guess she’ll have some job security — probably not gonna fire her walking around with one of those on her. Maybe it’ll even put her in charge one day.

There’s a website we look at as a group, described as “a kind of Akira.com website”. There’s a clever columnar interface, you simply slide a full column over and there’s an entirely different dating selection to explore. I note that the men are blue-themed and the women red-themed. Yellow… I didn’t get to yellow.

There’s ruckus outside. The quality of light indicates either a quiet evening or (unusually for me) an early morning. Leaning out a window I observe what seems like the local army base having a local defense drill. As I gawk from above, a gangly, almost gigantic recruit performs a side-stomping maneuver — straight through the trunk of a young tree in the green sidewalk margin adjacent the residence I’m in. Must have been trained on it. Or… oh, this IS the training. Only last night I walked by that very tree with a group, playfully jumping and swatting a dangling branch. There ought to be a different policy for base defense drills, I think, at least when it’s civilian property. I’m not grumpy about it though, just resigned. I say not a word to the recruits; nothing I could say. Military people are extra “just doing their job”, which feels like an understatement when it’s actually even “following direct orders”. But soon, I am able to holler out and warn them about the elephant that’s appeared from around a nearby corner, and is approaching them from behind. They take it in good humor. There is really an elephant though — a little pink baby with goofy eyes and ears that looks like it can’t even see anyone.

I can overhear the spirited conversation of a couple from where I sit in the backseat of a car. The woman has a pronounced English accent. I lean my head out, inserting myself into their conversation, and make an opportunistic joke related to what the boyfriend just said. Something about never trusting them? The English I mean. Because we’re Americans, you see. It’s a cheap joke and a few hundred years out of date but I knew it’d get a laugh. Later, driving along in the car, the conversation picks up on my joke. I realize that since it’s 2024 now, 1776 to 2024 would mean it’s 300 years of America! Wait, that’s not right… 250! That’s even worse from a cultural perspective. The media will most certainly be deluging us with the phrase “a quarter millennium of America” as often as they can. (I know the math is wrong here — this is a dream in case you’d forgotten.)

I’m taken around with a special kid, someone folks seem to think I have an unexplained connection with. Maybe I just have a similar vibe. Maybe my personality at that age was similar to whatever unusual thing this kid’s got going on. I attend his visit to a therapist’s office. It’s ringed halfway round with stone benches and has a peaceful zen garden feel, and they keep the office lights off. I spot a stuffed white stoat. It seems obviously symbolic, a canny and subdued symbolism — as if I’m not expected to know it. I carry over an indented tray, like a cupcake pan, randomly loaded with a personal rock collection in its rows of concavities. I perform the offering gesture to the special kid with exaggerated kindness and good humor. I don’t know why I’m being put together with this kid, but at least we’re enjoying each other.

Rats are easy to lose. For instance, apparently I just lost Bertie when I set down a tray a moment ago… fuck!

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Dream Journal

Dark Artist Space

A basement artist space, narrow, underlit and unkempt. I can see through the floorboards to the trash that’s fallen into the sub-basement storage, peek through the walls to make eye contact with the guys running a record store. The first night I stay there — I may be moving in — there are big fluffy bathrobes and towels on pegs. I keep my backpack outside with my bike and leave my laptop in there; someone takes it before I realize.

Lauren has been mailed (or needs to be mailed?) a little ground covering net to protect sea turtle hatchlings. It’s kept in a turtle-shell-shaped keepsake container.

This whole dream world feels very nocturnal, dark, dirty.