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Smartglot

City of Cannibals

Reduce. Reuse. Recycle. Regurgitate. Reappropriate. Reclaim. Reconnoiter. Rectify.

This is a city that eats its old. Set them out on the corner, and they’re gone. See something you want? Take it away—it’s yours. If that microwave, or TV, or refrigerator doesn’t have its cord cut that means it still works. Someone doesn’t want it, but wants it off their front curb. It’s a flea market town. You know about trash and treasure, one man and another man? What if that guy lived next door?

I’ve always had this habit. My favorite art assignment: find a box, find some stuff, put the stuff in that box. I dug in the dumpsters behind Target near my college, found a tea-kettle package and broken mirrors and a whole bunch of wire, shone a light through the whole thing. It was real pretty, and appealed to my natural cheapness frugality, also.

Number BricksLove of the abandoned, the lost, the free-for-the-taking is what got me through college. And when I say “got me through” I of course mean gave me something to do when I became too frustrated or bored with the school on old Fort Ord, and fell back to the Ord itself. My room was furnished with the 10 year-old leavings of a different institution, the Army, while my classes seemed simultaneously filled with different leavings.

I traveled abroad, and the most consistent fun I could find was exploring the drains of another country, finding little secrets and incidental items, dumpster diving with locals despite what other locals might think. Did you know there’s a drain that leads directly from the rainforest in Airlie Beach, past its campsites, underneath the main highway, and emerges directly on the beach? I miss the Cave Clan, even though I was never a member.

No surprise I should be happy in my new town, one might guess. There’s a Cathedral to tagging right on the waterfront. It’s next to the abandoned bus yard. Art cars, stock metal piled and forged onto them, are here and there. At the moment I’m on top of a street-bedframe, typing on a computer which rests on a street-desk, next to another monitor on top of a piano bench begotten from a yard sale, all for free. We got a chair at that same yard sale, then covered it in cool fabric samples glean’d from Craigslist free. We put it in our sitting room which is filled with some free plants; the urban garden down the street supplies them.

Of course there was the one occasion where, wandering down Haight street, finding a nice (different) piano bench and carrying it off, I was accosted several blocks afterward by a wild-eyed guy saying I took his bench. A little bewildered, I figured out that he’d found it earlier that day and had been trying to sell it ever since. I didn’t pay him the $5 he wanted, even if it was decent furniture. Violates the spirit of the thing.

There’s a lot of free culture, which makes that incident so unusual. More than anywhere else I’ve lived people get it. I’m not looked down on if I desire something cool in a dumpster. Even if I’m in the Financial District, businessman don’t get suspicious when I take their discarded office chair with me. These aren’t company secrets, and that’s why you put this thing out to begin with: so someone else would take it away for you. At the dump they weigh you when you get in and when you get out—if you take as much as you brought, you don’t pay anything. Give me a week and a moving van; I’ll give you an apartment another city-dweller in another city would cry over.

It’s recycling. It’s healthy. It means there’s less waste, what with everybody using everything once and twice and thrice. So what if my cabinet is the same as my neighbors’ before they found another one? A little cannibalism, a little creativity, a good city, can go a long way.

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Glot

Unfinished Symphony

Damned metaphor; too accurate. How does Oliver Twist end, anybody know? No, you don’t. And so despite impressive storytelling, populated with well-imagined characters and a fascinating mythology, the last episode of Carnivàle totally sucked.

Well, let me rephrase: the last five minutes of Carnivàle totally sucked. Too many loose ends. Yes, it’s a TV show. I don’t watch TV — except when I do watch TV, like if I can watch a cultish-ly popular HBO series released on DVD. It’s an intriguing, overarching storyline of the good-vs-evil sort set in the great depression. HBO signed up for three “books,” of two seasons each. And yet I just finished watching season 2… damned thing up and got cancelled. We, the fans, are left high and dry, with no more quaint antediluvian dialect to entertain (am I a fan? right I am. but what fer cryin’ out loud is a fandom?) Sure, you can go and read the collected Wikipedia spoilers the writers have admitted to planning, but that feels like cheating cuz, y’know, it is. Even then, they don’t make sense and there’s so many other open questions that complicate and tantalize. I guess all that’s left to do now is watch all seven seasons of Buffy: Vampire Slayers.

…lolz j/k

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Glot

Domestic Niceties

One of the nice things about working at a rather huge organization where you have little idea who the top boss is or who/what, exactly, you work for, is that the insurance benefits are awesome. That’s right. Medical, Dental, and Vision, at no pay deducion. One of the bad things about working from home and starting your own business endeavors is that it’s not easy to get decent insurance.

Hmm…

One of the nice things about living in San Francisco is that the Domestic partnership laws are very open. And easy. And one of the nice things about being in an “intimate committed relationship” is that you have a certain level of trust. Trust like you’d pay the other person’s rent if they couldn’t.

One of the nice things about entering into a domestic partnership is that it’s kinda like a marriage, so it’s cool to throw a reception party afterwards. I’m just saying. That’d be nice.

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Glot

How Embarrassing

Since the beginning of May, I have been continuously two months behind on uploading pictures to Flickr.

It just happened. See, we were looking for apartments. Every day, we’d go and see more apartments and take pictures to show the soon-to-be-roomies what the places looked like. ‘Course, we’d end up applying anyways toward the end. But some of the pictures were good. And a lot of the time, there was no more time. So I built up a backlog of decent, mostly story-telling pictures that sat around until I could find a place… and then find a job… and then find time.

I have myself experienced on a number of occassions the Red Queen. “It takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place.” I’ve uploaded pictures aplenty—all from around two months back. I make rent every month, yet somehow I have to keep working. And there’s so much upkeep in breathing, every day, every hour, every etc.

I want to complete them. I wanna be done. I’d like to come home and fling a whole buncha stuff on the internet and I don’t want to care about it. I have an unimpressive obsession. I know this. But I’m still obsessed.

Don’t you want to know what I did yesterday, and not last May?

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Glot

I Got Burned

You dummy.

It’s your own responsibility. You put yourself out there and you get burned without protection. Sizzle sizzle. Lobster Legs.

I was on a boat. I was in an amusement park. And then I was on a plane, and I had to wear pants cause my legs are so red that it would be dangerous otherwise. The aloe vera makes the hairs stick together and essentially shrinkwrap my skin. This sucks. Pictures to come soon.

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Glot

Missouri Holiday

Hello! I’m in Missouri. Why. Why? Because that’s where Lynae’s dad lives. And why does he live there? Is he from there? No.

But the place is nice. There’s a lake, and woods, a long gravel driveway, a pool, and cousins, and every other silly thing that makes it seem like a family retreat in the woods. And I’m here in the middle of it. The Boyfriend. An interesting role, and I don’t mind playing it.

There’s precious little time. Between Silver Dollar City (think giant Frontierland with more rollercosters,  Marvel Cave, Steak N’ Shake, Go-carts, and Predator World (the weirdest zoo I’ve ever been to), there is not a lot of time for… internet commitments. Off to dinner.

UPDATE: Now that it’s over, I have no problem with a little more sharing.

We came, we saw, we got really really sunburned. In somewhat sensible slideshow order: Springfield Airport, Tablerock Lake, The Butterfly Palace, Steak ‘n’ Shake, an a rock quarry next to an amusement park, Marvel Cave, Predator World, abandoned florist shop, late-night arcade/go-carts, Denny’s, way fancier than Denny’s, Tablerock Lake, Springfield Airport.

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Glot

Damn Kids

Damn kids.

You made me feel old. You made me feel old. Because I had to go outside my place of work and figure out what group of dummie-dum-dums was throwing tiny annoyinf firework poppers out the damn window, then march up to their room, 510, and confiscate their silly little fireworks, tell them this was their “last warning” and advise them that, yes, [poppers in Golden Gate Park = OK funny], [fireworks thrown from our hostel = OK you’re kicked to the kerb]. Anymore of that and they’re out. What’s worse is we don’t even know their names, don’t have their passport numbers because someone didn’t take them. They could be anybody’s dumb 18 year-old cousins. And guess what? Being an adult isn’t so bad. At least I’m not sitting around bored pestering strangers on a level not far above cow-tippin’ in one of the greatest cities this side of the Prime Meridian.

They come to check out tomorrow, ask for their ID.
They act smug or smirk too much, mention the cow-tipping
And if they make you feel like a lame grownup, just remember that you pay your own rent and live in an awesome town and hey, you can drink beer… legally!

♥Orin

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Glot

Walking Outside on 4th of July

I had no idea what to do this fourth. Maybe I was gonna dress up like a salmon and bother tourists (it seemed only fair). But instead, I just walked outside. I walked outside. And my neighborhood took care of it for me. You have no idea how much I love this town.

Directly outside there were people setting off the screamy ones that don’t leave a lot of smoke. Down the street I could see big ones. We got in the car and drove southwards, toward Bernal Hill. We figured we could get a nice wide view of the entire Mission (which, apparently, is a “hotbed” of illegal fireworks). Unfortunately some other damn fool had the bright idea to light off some of the same from that dry, grassy park at the top of a windy hill, and… well, we drove outta there pretty fast once we figured that out. Precita Park was cool. The little lady’s new camera got such a workout her batteries died. Someone blew up a garbage can. The SFFD showed up with a big spotlight but didn’t say anything to anyone, and all was understood. The projects down about Cesar Chavez and Harrison were lit up, streets closed off with stolen (borrowed) traffic cones, its intersection packed with people standing 200-300 feet directly below the wink-and-a-nod explosions, each family who wanted to celebrate taking turns which meant at least three separate finales… that I saw.

Did I mention I barbecued burgers on our backyard balcony? Cause I did and they were delicious. Just wanted to mention. Happy Fourth, San Francisco.

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Glot

Wallcrashing

I am the worst blogger from bed ever.

“This week is like… can… it’s weird you’re not looking at me… I work now.”

Sometimes people work too hard. It’s not just an overachiever thing. It’s an “I need to be financially independant and I’m sorta working two jobs and planning on starting my own business too” kinda thing. Or maybe a little “I do everything I can for everyone I see all day long and never complain and by the end I’m just so through that I crash.” I take it back It might be an overacheiver thing. It’s easy to get carried away once you realize what you want and realize that it’s only the amount of effort you’re willing to put in that determines how successful you are. And then you hit a wall and realize your human.

Yesterday, yesterday was a hard day. I fell asleep before 12, on the bed, with my clothes on, while my woman sat right beside me trying to work. She couldn’t wake me up. Or, rather, she could wake me up but I was still dreaming and couldn’t muster the force of mind to move. So she slept on the couch. As my lady crept into bed at 6:30 this morning I woke up confused (not to mention a little sorry).

We’re not hitting a wall. We’re just grinding our gears. We’re ruffling our feathers. We’re harshing our buzz. I’m not worried; I’m frazzled, and so is she. Hella frazzled (yes, we live in Northern California; no, we don’t live in NorCal). We deseperately need a vacation from the busy lives we’ve chosen… and we’re getting one! Soon! Ironically enough that’s causing us to spin our wheels. I got off time from work, and then I was told I couldn’t. My lady was told she could park somewhere and then somehow she couldn’t, and her truck was towed . So she’s out $280. We come home tired then go out and do cool stuff and come back exhausted. And we’re planning a party, and soon, and before the vacation. It would be quite reasonable for a suburban, homebody, happy-to-eat-at-Chili’s sort of folk to call us insane.

I don’t want to be insane. I’d like to have awesome, intense, busy, produtive, happy sanity. Work in progress.

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Glot

Conversational Snippets

I’ve been using Trillian Portable less than a month. Just to give some idea what I’ve been talking about, here are some random, mechanically selected excerpts:

  • trust me, its not true, if its true, then my weight is not 250 pounds
  • $5 for the Charlie McCarthy grass-skirted weirdo
  • i am teh pwnzores 4 lyfe
  • so I’m watching the GET video of last year, some of the way through, I post the entry regarding all the kite-killings there last march and link to the Al Jazeera…
  • have you considered a moustache?
  • hey there Mom
  • which is pay for my flight, and once ive finished my contract with the agency in 2 months, they will up my wages from £5.60 to £7 an hour
  • cool! I thought I was the only one who carries their life in their iPod

That last one’s really appropriate, since I actually do carry my instant messenger in my pocket, on the iPod hard-drive… as well as my browser, my image editor, my bittorrent client, and of course my bad-file destroyer.

I expect educated guesses as to the identities of those messenging/messenged. Messenged is not a word.