things I can and cannot do without pants

  • I can open the desk at the hostel without pants, no problem.
  • Other people (other people who aren’t me) can’t even come downstairs without pants.
  • However, I still cannot cook salmon burgers naked and/or pants-free (waffers are still ok).
  • I can be in a mariachi band (in my imagination) with no pants, because that’s actually a funnier image than just being in a mariachi band.
  • I cannot be sworn in as the President of the United States without wearing pants. It sends the wrong message to the nation.
  • I can take a nice bath with absolutely no pants — it is, in fact, recommended.
  • Pants are encouraged for all trips to relatives house’s. Gramma has staunch morals.
  • I cannot take a driver’s test without pants, but I can help someone get to a driver’s test with no pants.
  • I could make mixed drinks with no pants if I were required.
  • In fact, I can delegate tasks effectively while managing multiple priorities, solve problems proactively in a dynamic environment, work well against deadlines, all without pants.
  • It is still not recommended to go to a job interview without pants.
  • Similarly, inspecting apartments without pants can be problematic. Think of the children.
  • I do a pretty good “Fuzzbottom McTickleface duke of Catchester” impression, if I am free of any pants I may or may not have worn.
  • I wear pants if it’s cold out. It has not been cold out.
  • For the record, it is perfectly fine to blog pantsless.

2 replies on “things I can and cannot do without pants”

This may be a contender in the blog-o-sphere for things least likely to be blogged about. I know people care about wearing and not wearing pants as a social norm, nevertheless, who writes about it? You write about it wryly, as always.

As I recall, no one ever made you wear pants at your parent’s house, and you freely accepted (took) the freedom.

Well, I would comment, but I am not sure this is a mother’s topic…but I shall. I personally would have difficult with the “no pants” issue in several of your mentioned environs…but then I am an uptight Irish mother. Would “no pants” be similar to pajamas? ‘Cause I could really get into that –
I shall now go google fuzzbottom McTickleface duke of Catchester to see what is up there.

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