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Pay it, Weegie

Norwegians. So nice, even smug, as long as everything’s going their way. Then the minute the chips go down to eat the dust on the rocks which aren’t as great as they used to be, Norwegians become all… “I vish to speek to the manger.”

Hi. I work at a hostel. It’s my job to tell you you gotta put your stuff in the lockers. It’s two bucks. Even though you think it’s my fault, it’s not. Sorry. No need for rude. No need for manager. It’s not even that much. With a shrug of sympathy and an open-palmed “that’s what you gotta do,” I’ll help you with what you gotta do. Instead, you chose to make me think Norwegians suck.

This is the convergence of customer service with international travel. People like me get to meet everyone in the whole world. It’s like a sampler of national personalities, which, come to think, might be the etymology of “nationality.” And there’s only so many of each. How many Norwegians have I met? Maybe three. And so the picture’s inadequate. I’ve met one Cuban, and I doubt that all Cubans are soft-spoken shrinking violets who just want a nice bottom-bunk, is all. I know the weegies aren’t all unfairly demanding. Yet nonetheless it’s true that when you travel you represent your country. Walking around, in our prosthetically clothing-and-accessory augmented bodies, it’s unavoidable. We each represent the demographic that is us, going down from species, to gender, passing by race and religion and political affiliation and nationality, all the way through education and class and hometown and family and circle of friends. And there’s us.

So dammit… act nice. You put on a face every morning and people can see it. Pay the $2 Weegie.

2 replies on “Pay it, Weegie”

It’s weird dealing with international tourists, isn’t it? We get a lot of them at the restaurant, especially in the summer time. The Europeans drive me crazy, they tip horribly. Latin Americans rarely tip decently either. I know that tipping practices are different in their home country, but come on, every fucking guide book out there has a chapter that covers local customs and etiquette, which includes tipping! Somehow the Asians have figured it out, and tipping is virtually non-existent in many Eastern countries (e.g., China).

Service really is different here though, many Europeans don’t get the whole “Hi ya’ll, I’m so-and-so, I’ll be your server tonight! Can bring you something to drink right away?” American service style. I’ve found that a lot of British and German people will get squirmy and shoo you away if you approach the table before they’ve gotten their entire order together. Service *is* better here though, the tipping system is much more warranted here than over there. I’ve been to Europe and I know that unless you’re in a tourist joint, the service is completely minimal. I don’t mind that, but goddamnit we do it differently here, be a good visitor and try your best to fit in!

Don’t get me wrong, I do get foreign tourists that are really polite and tip normally from time to time. The French are probably the worst though, they can’t stop chattering when you approach the table, they are demanding (I find myself standing at their table for an hour trying to get everyone’s order but the second they need something there’s tons of arm waving and “excuse me!! miss!!!”), and they can’t tip for shit.

The thing that cracks me up about the European tourists, especially Germans, is that they have such a reputation for turning their nose up at American beer (micro-brews aside though, I can’t blame them), but do you know what is the number one beer ordered by Europeans in my restaurant? Bud Lite. Budweiser is a close second. We have imported beer! It’s not as if all we have is Bud and Coors Lite! We even have some decent American beer! But the Germans overwhelming order Bud Lite! WTF?

I do have to say though, it’s occurred to me how lucky I am as a native speaker of English that when I was in Europe all I really needed to learn of the local language was “Do you speak English?” and I got around fine. Unless they speak Spanish, I don’t know two words of French or German or Chinese or what-have-you to help folks out.

Anyway, sorry for the ranting, you shouldn’t get me started on foreign tourists. Honestly though, I don’t give a shit where you’re from or whether you speak English, just leave a decent fucking tip!!

Orin, yours was a most succinct, pointed, yet respectful summary of the “be nice and represent your country well” I could have seen. Lauren’s comments, in her way, are well put too. Observation of others says something of ourselves and guides our individual behavior. I wish our country could be a little more observant of how others see us based on our behaviors. You keep on “representin” us good, ya hear… gl-b

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