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FAQ

or rather, QITUYMA (Questions I Thought Up You Might Ask)

Q: You are an attractive, healthy, and disarmingly interesting person who also happens to be well adjusted and fairly social; add to that your creative talents and the fact you’ve got a great-looking couple of websites (which you designed almost completely from scratch). Your charms appear abundant from where I’m sitting. When do you plan to stop shooting smack into your eyeballs?
A: Quite a list. Wanna go out sometime?

Q: You didn’t have a Q for question. No answering a question with another question.
A: That was a trick question. I don’t shoot smack into my eyeballs.

Q: Doesn’t having an animated favicon really suck CPU energy?
A: No. A favicon is 16 x 16 pixels= 256. The animation is 7 frames = 1792 pixels. Mine uses all of 9 colors. Even assuming each color of every individual pixel is decompressed and rendered in 24 bits (possible), 1792 x 24 = 43008bits.

43008 bits / 8 = 5376 bytes.

5376 bytes / 1024 = 5.25 kb.

Now if I were to hit up my trusty Process Explorer, I would see that the lowest amount of memory used by one of my programs would be a whopping 16kb, from something called “System Idle Process”.

The reason an animated gif uses CPU is because those bits&bytes have to be moved into and out of system memory. The animation is 7 frames/7 seconds. If it were entirely loaded into RAM in only one second, all 5.25kb, by my calculations your actual cycles/second needed would be… um… something complicated. But probably not a lot, whatever not a lot means in this context. I really really don’t know. BTW, who says ‘suck CPU energy’ anyway? My icon is not a vampire, alright.

Q: Well, I don’t like it. Animated icons are distracting and it makes my bookmarks look weird. That’s why no one uses them.
A: That’s not a question.

Q: OK. Why do you hate your readers?
A: I don’t. I do however think it entertaining to set up a conversational straw man for the rhetorical purpose of making a silly FAQ more interesting.

* Q ‘s head explodes in massive self-referential fireball *
A: haha dude lol

Q: Oh yeah I was supposed to ask you your name, age, sex, blah, yada, etc…
A: My name is Orin Zebest. Some call me Robert John La Londe-Berg. Either way. Some people even confuse the two terms, but I really can’t speak for them. You could also call me Billy if you were one of my three closest friends, The Homepie. 38 is the number of rings in my trunk but I still seem 37, really. My sex is the male one. The sex has been rewarding, so far. Seek specificity in your diction.

Q: Whatever. Next question. What makes you so special?
A: Oooh, that’s a good one—I like that. What makes anyone special? I guess…

Q: Next question. How exactly is this “glot” different than a “blog”, which you apparently profess “r dum”?
A: I’m not at liberty to answer that question, cause I don’t want to.

Q: But how are the two things not the same thing?
A: I’m not going to tell you they aren’t alike. That wouldn’t be true. But think of this: a “blog” is a website where entries are written in chronological order and displayed in reverse chronological order. I guess I do that. But think also of this: the word “blog” is a portmanteau of “weblog”, and sounds guttural, Germanic, and is widely used. The word “glot” is way better, because it’s a portmanteau of “glut” and “clot,” and I made it up.

Q: That’s the dumbest excuse to intentionally confuse people that I’ve ever heard. Why, in the name of all that is otherwise worthwhile, are you doing this?
A: Well, it started off with me trying to impress / keep up with a girl as it usually does. That created le Blog D’Orin. I refined my blogging skills there, despite the dumb name, writing funny IM conversational things and half-hearted political, linky things, occasional inspirational crossposting things, and other crap. It defined my voice, brought me to…

Q: Not interesting. How much do you pay for all this web-wreckage?
A: $95.40 a year.

Q: Hahahahaaa pffft looser!! u need a hobby.
A: What do you think this is?